Kellie Sheldon - Trauma and Sex Counsellor

10/11/2025

You know that line - “just relax, it’ll stop hurting”? Yeah… nah. It bloody won’t.

Pain during s*x isn’t all in your head. It’s your body saying “too much.”

The Ohnut lets you take that control back- soft rings that decide how deep pe*******on goes, so you set the limit, not the pain.

I love these for anyone healing after s*xual trauma. Because sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stop forcing your body to tolerate what it’s not ready for.

Less pain. More safety. More choice.

Save this for later - or share it with someone who’s still trying to “just relax.”

And yes, I do have them in stock - you cannot buy them in adult stores.

*xualtraumarecovery *x *xtherapy

07/11/2025

“OMG! Do I have multiple personalities?!”

No. You have parts.

Remember when Bugs Bunny would talk to the angel and devil on his shoulders?
That’s what you’re doing, what we’re all doing.

That conversation you have in your head, the back-and-forth before you make a choice?
That’s just you chatting with your parts.

Richard Schwartz (the creator of IFS) says there are no bad parts - and he’s right.
Your parts have been with you your whole life, holding feelings and memories about what happened to you.

Their only job is to keep you and your system (The mix of parts inside you that each carry different roles, emotions, and stories) safe. Even when it feels like they’re working against you.

They are not dysfunctional or out to get you.
They’re just tired of having to protect you all the time. So how about you let the adult self of you lead so your child parts can go and play in the park?

Interested in parts work? Send us a DM with your questions - or hit that follow button to learn more.

06/11/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/1D1oHFKjxG/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Think deeply, rewire naturally, live vividly.

The human brain is remarkably impressionable. Neuroscience shows that it cannot fully distinguish between imagined experiences and real ones. Every vivid thought, mental rehearsal, or creative visualization activates the same neural circuits as if the experience were actually happening.

This means that imagining an action, like practicing a skill, facing a challenge, or even recalling a memory, can physically strengthen the brain’s pathways, improving performance and emotional responses. Athletes, artists, and leaders often use visualization techniques to enhance real-world outcomes because the mind reacts as though the scenarios are real.

The implications are profound: positive thinking, mental rehearsal, and focused imagination aren’t just abstract exercises; they literally shape the brain, reinforce habits, and build resilience. Conversely, negative or fearful thoughts can also reinforce unwanted patterns, highlighting the power of mental focus.

Every thought is a form of practice. When we imagine, the brain is learning, rewiring, and preparing, a reminder that mental landscapes can transform reality itself.

05/11/2025

Pavlov’s dog was conditioned to drool when a bell rang.

You were conditioned to stay small so they wouldn’t touch you anymore.

It’s your body remembering the rules it had to learn to survive.

Don’t move. Don’t make noise. Don’t make them angry. Shrink. Hide. Don't let them see you.

You built safety out of stillness.
You learned to disappear before danger arrived.

And now every time you try to take up space your body freezes.

You want to speak up, but your throat closes.

You want to relax, but your chest tightens.

You want to say no, but the air goes thick and your mind blanks out.

There is nothing wrong with you. You didn't do anything wrong.

They did. They taught you to listen for them without knowing you were doing it.

And now - here, today, you're remembering. Your body is still keeping your safe because that part of you is stuck - thats the bit that stuck.

Your nervous system still believes the bell means pain. The work isn’t to shout louder or push harder, it’s to teach your body that the bell isn’t ringing anymore.

That takes time.
And it takes safety.

Read this again, save it for when you need reminding.

04/11/2025

When you were a child and someone hurt you in ways they never should have…
your body learned that love isn’t safe.

That’s what CPTSD from childhood s*xual abuse does.

It keeps your body ready for danger,
even when the danger is long gone.

You learned to stay small.
To read every face.
To keep the peace so you could survive.

You did what you had to do.
That’s how you made it through.

Now it’s different.
You get to grow.
Slowly.
In your own time.
You get to find out what safety feels like—
not because someone says it’s safe,
but because your body starts to believe it.

Healing isn’t about forgetting.
It’s about helping your body learn:
“I don’t have to hide anymore.”
“I can stretch a little.”
“I can breathe.”

That’s where growth begins. 🌱

If this feels familiar, save it for the days you doubt your progress.

Your body’s still learning safety, that’s healing. 💚

03/11/2025

Ha! Relax? Are you serious?
That’s what I can hear you thinking as you scroll your feed.

But yes... I am.

Do you even know what it feels like?
When was the last time you noticed your shoulders halfway up to your ears, or your jaw locked tight?
Or paid attention to how you’re actually breathing?

Most people’s version of “relaxed” is just their baseline stress level - or they’ve zoned out completely.

Try something for me.
Hold your hand in front of your face, close enough that you can feel your breath on it.

Notice your body right now.

Take a breath - just as deep as feels comfortable.
Then breathe out slowly.
Feel that warm air on your hand.

Do it again, four or five times.
Then check in.

What shifted?
What feels different?

I am seriously interested in what you noticed, share with me in the comments or PM me.

30/10/2025

Dissociation during intimacy isn’t a lack of desire - it’s a body remembering what it had to do to survive.

When your mind says “you’re safe now” but your body still disappears, that’s not failure. It’s a story that hasn’t finished unwinding yet.

Healing starts with understanding that your body isn’t the enemy. It’s been guarding you for a long time - maybe longer than it should’ve had to.
Be patient with it.

Safety doesn’t come from forcing closeness.
It comes from giving your body time to believe you’re safe enough to stay.

Save this for when you start to wonder why you can’t “just relax.”






*xualtraumarecovery

30/10/2025

Bruce and Denise are powerhouses born out of utter tragedy.

29/10/2025

CW: trauma, body responses

I feel like my mind’s ready, but my body’s still catching up.

Ever felt that too? When your body shuts down right when you want to speak, move, or reach out?
That’s not weakness. It’s memory.
Your body’s keeping the rhythm that once kept you alive.

When you’ve lived through danger, your body learns to move slow on purpose.
It waits to see if the world is truly safe before it lets you act.
That’s why you might freeze when you want to talk, pull away when you want closeness, or feel heavy when you want to move.

Your body isn’t behind. It’s protecting you.
It’s still scanning for safety your mind believes is already here.
Healing isn’t about pushing through.
It’s about teaching your body it doesn’t have to stand guard anymore.
When safety feels familiar, movement follows naturally.
Your “no” isn’t resistance, it’s information.
Listen to it. That’s the path back to trust, to self, to life.

🕊️ Take a breath. Notice what your body’s saying right now.
If this resonates, save it for the days your body feels slower than your mind
and share it with someone learning to move at their own pace too.

28/10/2025

Everyone’s talking about parts work right now - IFS, Ego States, Resource Therapy - and somehow it’s turned into personality quizzes and inner-child journaling prompts.

Parts work isn’t new, and it’s definitely not a trend.

It’s what your internal system’s been doing your whole life - creating roles, voices, and strategies to keep you safe.

Parts work shows up in a lot of frameworks and each with its own language for the same goal:
helping the system communicate instead of compete.

In IFS, they call it unburdening - letting parts release what they’ve carried.
In Ego State Therapy, it’s state harmony - getting all your internal states working together.
In Resource Therapy, it’s bridging - helping the parts talk to each other without one taking over.

Different names. Same idea: safety first, relationship always. Parts don’t stop being in control because you tell them to. They soften because they finally feel safe enough to.
Sometimes the work isn’t blending parts together, it’s getting them to stop fighting long enough to share the same space.

Not everyone can drive at once, but they also can’t all be back-seat driving either. We aim for Self behind the wheel, most of the time. So when I say “we use parts language,” I don’t mean we’re playing therapist bingo. I mean we’re tracking safety, consent, and connection inside the system.

That’s the work.

💬 Save this if you’re tired of buzzwords and want to know what real trauma-informed parts work looks like.