06/11/2025
Lately I’ve been reflecting on the book He’s Not Lazy, and it connects so deeply with what I see in Play Therapy, but also in my own home. As a mum of two boys, I notice how easily “I don’t want to” or “I don’t care” can appear on the surface. But underneath, there is often something tender — a worry about not being good enough, or the fear of trying and failing. It reminded me how important it is to look beneath the behaviour, rather than taking it at face value.
In the playroom, boys often choose superhero play, building, power themes, battles — not because they don’t care, but because play gives them a safe space to feel capable, strong, and in control. And at home, I see the same: when I slow down, reflect feelings, and stay close, my boys soften, and their willingness to try returns.
Motivation grows in children when they feel safe, not judged. When they know they can try and still be loved in the trying.
Sometimes the most healing message we can offer is:
I see your effort.
You don’t have to be perfect here.
You are safe to try.
