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Neurodiversity Toolbox, Mornington (2026)

09/04/2026

Airport days are their own kind of hard.
Tight timelines you didn’t set, hundreds of humans all moving through the same space, heavy bags, the mental load of knowing exactly which pocket needs to hold what and when, checking out of accommodation… the list goes on.
Today we added hungry to that list. We had to leave by 9am. The kids didn’t wake until 8 and 8:30, the teenager after approximately eight attempts. And then he took so long to get ready that we left in a rush with not enough food in anyone’s body.
Sensory + tired + hungry + airport. You can imagine.
But then Air New Zealand quietly made our day. We asked to board first, no explanation needed, no questions asked, and we were on, seated and settled before anyone else had even joined the queue. I watched another family request the same thing but after everyone was seated and get the same response. Everyone boarded, calm, ready.
That one accommodation changed the whole energy of the flight.
We’re now in the air heading to the North Island. There’s a three hour drive from the airport to our accommodation tonight (some last minute itinerary changes after my parents could no longer come mean the route isn’t perfect). But at the end of that drive is hopefully a beautiful room, a good night’s sleep, and the North Island waiting for us tomorrow.
Onwards. 🌿

08/04/2026

Day 8. Or 9. Honestly I’ve lost count, which surely is a good thing.
The sun came out today. After a few days of the land of the long white cloud fully living up to its name, there it was.
We had a slow morning, my daughter and I watched a movie and a science show while the teenager did what teenagers do and slept until a completely unreasonable hour. I took my vitamins for the first time since we left home.
To be fair, my daughter had specifically requested the slow morning. In her words: after being “dragged to a whole lot of places I didn’t ask to go and being in the car too much.”
500+ km over two days, to be exact. She’s not wrong.
That’s it.
No big walk. No adventure. Just sunshine, a quiet morning, some vitamin D that didn’t come from a bottle, and a kid who wanted to watch TV with me instead of anywhere else.
Some days the reset is loud. Some days it looks like this, even on holiday

05/04/2026

Day 6 in New Zealand.
Honest nervous system reset check in: I haven’t nailed the morning sunshine thing. Not even close most days. The intentional deep breaths outside? Patchy at best.
But here’s what has happened.
I’ve eaten three meals a day. At actual meal times. Every single day. If you know me, you know that’s not nothing.
Last night I slept. Really slept. And this morning I noticed my nervous system felt... different. Not fixed. Not transformed. Just a little less like it was holding its breath.
That’s what reset looks like when you’ve been running on empty for a long time. Not the plan you made. Just the quiet things that snuck in anyway and started doing their work.
One real meal. One full night. One breath of cold air you actually stopped to feel.
It counts. It all counts.

31/03/2026

I keep popping back here and disappearing again. Trying to intentionally restart and then something else inevitably comes up.

Today I’m writing this from New Zealand and there’s both happiness and heartbreak in that. This trip was supposed to be something special. A repeat of a journey I did as a kid. I planned this trip with my parents after Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, for them and I (and this time with my own kids in tow). A walk down memory lane and a gift for all of us, across three generations.

Then both of my parents ended up in aged care unexpectedly, with much less capacity than any of us anticipated. And the trip became something else entirely.

After a lot of reflection, I’m taking the trip anyway. With my two AuDHD kids. As a solo parent who has been running on empty for longer than I want to admit. This isn’t a flex. And this trip is not an escape. If you’ve travelled with neurodivergent kids, you know it’s not exactly a relaxing holiday. You’re still on. Still holding everyone’s needs, all. the. time. Still the person reading the environment, managing transitions, anticipating what’s coming next.

Instead this trip is intentional. I’m using it as an attempt to come home with a different nervous system baseline. More sleep. Less depletion. A higher tolerance for the unexpected, because without fail, the unexpected will show up.

I know what intentional parenting looks like. I was that parent once. And I know what it looks like when you can’t get there either, not because you don’t care, but because you’re beyond exhausted. So it’s time to change that.

I’ve never been to these places as the adult before. Never been the driver, the organiser, the one holding the map. So buckle up, this series is going to be about travelling with neurodivergent kids, intentionally resetting nervous systems, why things get so out of whack, and whatever else surfaces along the way. If any of this sounds familiar, feel free to follow along.

05/02/2026

Not all affirming resources are affirming in every context.

If choosing the right resource feels heavy, that’s often because the impact matters, not because you’re doing this wrong.

Many neurodivergent people, parents, educators, and therapists are trying to move carefully. To avoid harm. To respect lived experience. To do this meaningfully and purposefully.

When information conflicts, confusion isn’t a failure. It’s often a sign of care.

You’re allowed to take what fits, leave what doesn’t, and change your mind as you learn more. Choosing well takes energy, and that matters too.

Save if this is supportive (leave it if it’s not)

05/02/2026

Not all affirming resources are affirming in every context.

If choosing the right resource feels heavy, that’s often because the impact matters, not because you’re doing this wrong.

Many neurodivergent people, parents, educators, and therapists are trying to move carefully. To avoid harm. To respect lived experience. To do this meaningfully and purposefully.

When information conflicts, confusion isn’t a failure. It’s often a sign of care.

You’re allowed to take what fits, leave what doesn’t, and change your mind as you learn more. Choosing well takes energy, and that matters too.

Save if you know someone who might find comfort in this.

19/11/2025

Unpopular opinion: Neurodivergent kids don’t need more parent‑imposed consequences to prove the adults around them are “not going easy” on them.

There is so much pressure on parents, carers, teachers, and other professionals to show they’re “treating them like every other child.”

In practice, that often means punishing disability‑related behaviour and pushing kids past their limits so no one can accuse you of being “too soft.”

But neuroscience tells us that when a child’s nervous system is overwhelmed, the part of the brain that actually learns from consequences – the prefrontal cortex – goes offline.

In that state, the brain isn’t thinking, “I’ve learned my lesson.”
It’s thinking, “I’m not safe.”

For many neurodivergent kids, especially autistic and ADHD kids, more consequences and reward systems don’t build skills – they build anxiety, shame, and burnout.

Instead, affirming support asks:

• What was hard for this child’s brain or body in that moment?
• What support or accommodation was missing?
• How can we change the environment, not just the child?

We can still teach repair, responsibility, and boundaries – but we do it once the nervous system is regulated, not in the middle of a meltdown.

You can be a thoughtful, boundaried adult and honour disability at the same time.

Consequences that ignore the nervous system don’t build character – they just teach kids that they are always the problem. And that’s never the message we want to be sending.

Save this for the next time someone suggests you need to be “stricter” with a neurodivergent child to be taken seriously, or share it with the professionals in your world.

18/11/2025

Unpopular opinion: neurodivergent kids don’t need more parent‑imposed consequences to prove you’re “not going easy” on them or that they’re being treated like everyone else.
When a child’s nervous system is overwhelmed, the part of the brain that learns from consequences goes offline.
So adding more consequences in that state doesn’t build skills – it builds shame, anxiety, and burnout.
You CAN hold boundaries and honour disability at the same time.

Come back tomorrow for a deep dive carousel on this topic.

09/11/2025

Practical tools make every day feel lighter.

Ever wished for a menu of options when your brain needs a boost? Or a gentle nudge toward comfort when the world feels too much?

You’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it out solo. The Dopamenu and other tools in our Neurodiversity Toolbox are built by neurodivergent creators who *get* it. We’re here for the sticky notes, the cozy corners, the fidget breaks that make all the difference.

Imagine your day with a few more "aha" moments - a comfy chair in your workspace, a favorite stim toy within reach, or a playful prompt that helps you tune into what you need (not what someone else thinks you should need).

What’s one practical tool or tiny ritual you rely on to make life smoother? (Or one you wish existed?)

Share below - or just know you’re seen, exactly as you are. 🩵

05/11/2025

Yesterday my son turned 13.
And every year, I hold two things at once: the absolute awe of him - and the quiet ache of my birth trauma.

There was no emergency. No crisis.
Just an OB who wanted the process to hurry up.

And me - unheard, unable to speak, overwhelmed and shutting down - while everyone around me deferred to the professional in the room.

The nurse stayed silent.
My husband and I assumed the doctor knew best.
And I disappeared into myself.

The thing is - I’ve always been someone who advocates fiercely.
For myself. For others.
I knew I had a voice.
But in that moment - my first ever shutdown - I didn’t know what I needed. I couldn’t find the words. And no one noticed that I’d gone quiet in a way that wasn’t peace, but paralysis.

That experience changed how I understand communication, consent, and advocacy - especially once I understood my neurodivergence.

Because shutdown isn’t compliance.
Silence isn’t consent.
And “healthy baby, healthy mum” doesn’t erase the body’s memory of fear.

So, I’m celebrating my incredible boy - and also honouring the version of me who needed someone to slow down, to ask, to listen.

If you’re a neurodivergent parent navigating birth or medical trauma, you’re not alone here 🩵

And if you know of any affirming books, resources, or creators who speak on birth trauma or neurodivergent parenting, please share them in the comments so others can find them too.

30/10/2025

Why Halloween can be tricky for neurodivergent people (pun absolutely intended) 👻
Halloween when you’re neurodivergent isn’t just spooky - it’s a sensory and social adventure.
We love this time of year: the creativity, the costumes, the chance to be a little weird on purpose. But… it’s not always simple.
There’s a fair few reasons why Halloween can feel both magical and messy for neurodivergent people - from scratchy (yet perfectly spooky) costumes to surprise scares to legs that just can’t walk another step.
Because here’s the thing: you can love Halloween and still need to tweak it for your brain or body.
Both can be true. 💛
Neurodivergent joy is real - and so is the need for comfort, boundaries, and accommodations.
👇 Tell me your Halloween tricks (nightmares) and treats (joys) below! I’d love to hear how you make this season work for you. 🎃 👻

29/10/2025

Wow! - 1,000 followers on both Instagram and Facebook! 🎉🩵

This community started as a small idea and now it’s a growing space full of connection, support, and neurodiversity-affirming goodness. I’m so grateful for every like, comment, share, and story you’ve brought into this space.

And to celebrate I thought I’d reveal my new logo! Swipe to see the logo along with our new tagline 💡🧠🩵

Thank you for believing in the mission, sharing your lived experiences, and making Neurodiversity Toolbox what it is. Here’s to the next thousand and all the ways we’ll keep growing together!

Neurodiversity Toolbox

09/04/2026

08/04/2026

05/04/2026

31/03/2026

05/02/2026

05/02/2026

19/11/2025

18/11/2025

09/11/2025

05/11/2025

30/10/2025

29/10/2025

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