07/12/2025
Occasionally it hits me out of nowhere how through the lens of the society I come from I am a total failure.
And the reason it hits me out of nowhere is I am so disconnected from the society I came from, and only occasionally do I get insights into that world, and when I do sometimes this realisation hits me hard.
Why would I be considered a failure? Whilst many of the people I went to school have gone on to become very wealthy and have socially distinguished jobs and conventional family structures, on the other hand I had more money in my early 20s and a substantially higher income than I do now, and whilst I got a mortgage at 18 and had a place at St Andrewās Uni, I now live in a one bedroom hut in the jungle, ride around on motorbikes and had a couple of years recently where because of my focus on Phytolove I went pretty much income-free. In place of a distinguished conventional career, Iām pretty much a professional witch and barely anybody from the world I was raised in would really have a clue what I do for work, let alone would respect it.
But is my life really a failure? I live the life of *my* dreams (I just didnāt quite know what they were until recently), I have infinitely better mental and physical health than in my younger years, I am sincerely extremely fulfilled, content and at peace with myself and my life, and I know wholeheartedly that my work genuinely helps people, and that my lifestyle improves the state of the planet. For the past few years I have felt completely on my soul path and totally aligned in integrity. I might have no sense of conventional family but I have a relationship with myself and with God that fulfils me entirely. I might have vastly less money than most of my former peers, but I have everything I need and am truly satisfied with my life.
I never fitted into the world I came from, and if I had stayed in it, I would be selling my soul. Something I will never do. So through the lens of the world I came from my life is a total failure, but I have really come to terms with this. After all, it is no measure of health to well adjusted to a sick society, and my belief is that Western society is just that.