Aspie Kids Academy

04/06/2024

One of the greatest gifts we can give to our mini clients is a positive association with therapy. It’s not just about building skills and talking about tough times, in fact that may be 10% of the time we spend together. But the 90% of laughing and playing and building a safe and secure space makes that 10% so much more effective. And that 90% presents so much opportunity for growth and learning too. Kids and teens need and deserve to play. That’s how we also build their trust in us, as adults who will become worthy of entering their minds and hearts during tough times. Let’s laugh lots with our clients, so they can cry with us when they need to.

31/01/2024

On growth mindset and school challenges…

This week was the week for the big talk to prepare my Aspie 5-year-old for what a growth mindset will look like for him during his time at school (though it’s never too late for this talk). I have been telling him every day… “I hope you’ve been OK with your mistakes today. You’ll make lots of them you know. And that’s a good thing.”

The underlying issues for him and so many Aspies are perfectionist mindset and performance anxiety.

I asked him what feels hard for him so far at school. The answer was “everything!” But when we broke it down, actually some things were harder than others. Some things were easier than others. Some things have gotten easier already this week than they were last week.

We talked about the three stages that he will encounter in every moment of his learning:
1. Challenge
2. Growth
3. I can do it! (or mastery)

Challenge
School is all about setting up challenges for students: something different, novel, difficult. Challenge sounds like: “I don’t know if I can do this, this is hard, I’ve never seen this before, this is complicated, etc.” That’s how you know you’ve found a challenge.

Growth
My 5-year-old asked “what is growth“? Great question! Growth sounds like: “ahh, OK, I see, I’m getting this, I think this is making more sense, maybe I can do this”.

I can do it
Then “I can do it” just sounds like that… “I get it! I can do it! This makes sense now!”

Until the next challenge.

Without challenge, you can’t grow. If you don’t grow, you never feel like you can do anything more. If you don’t feel like you can do more, you don’t get anywhere in your life. You just stay stuck where you are and you don’t move forward.

So don’t forget, you have to have the challenge first. Then growth. Then “I can do it!” Over and over again.

We can help our Aspie children by ensuring that they understand a challenge for what it is. It is a learning or growth opportunity. And it may take minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years to master. It depends on the challenge, and it depends on the person. Everyone is different. That’s how we are made. It is very important to spell these things out for Aspie kids so that they don’t take a challenge as a sign of personal defeat, or a sign of them not being good enough, or a sign that they are not supposed to be at school where others can see where they fall short. They are not supposed to be able to do a challenge immediately. That would not be a challenge.

And… how do you know what is “just a challenge” vs what requires an adjustment due to disability? Listen out for unnecessary or insurmountable obstacles specific to your child’s disability, that could prevent or delay their growth. These will usually be related to social or emotional overload, management of sensory inputs, or executive functioning delays that require scaffolding. For example, my 5-year-old has had a lot of wet play days last week and has realized that everyone being in the undercover area together for rainy days is unbearable. Because of the “noise“ and “movement “. Having him sit in an alternative space for wet lunches, to allow for reduced sensory overload, so that he can use more of his energy in the classroom, would be a simple adjustment. This would allow him to then put his energy where it needs to go. His energy is needed to quiet down the perfectionist stories popping up in his head throughout his day and to manage social anxieties as he analyzes everything he and others are doing to ensure he’s fitting in. That is already a full-time load in his day. Not to mention learning the curriculum.

Happy first weeks back everyone. It’s a big job laying a foundation for growth mindset, and maintaining it, but it will pay off in the long run. Phew 😅

31/10/2023

Aspie Kids Academy is taking referrals!
We would love to support your whole family with
Psychology, Counseling, and Neurofeedback training. Please call our office to find out more about how we are supporting neurodiverse young people and their families to both manage challenges and celebrate strengths.
Phone: 0423 215 098
Email: info@aspiekids.com.au

27/08/2023

Meet Suzie! Suzie is a long term AKA colleague, and empathetic Aspie mum, who has now added another level of counseling support to her already impressive resume. Suzie has some capacity to take on new clients at this time, so please get in touch with our office manager if you feel Suzie could be of assistance to you or your family. Support is so hard to source these days and Suzie is an absolute gem. She can also talk to you about the work she is doing as a Neurofeedback Practitioner within her practice.
Have a beautiful week everyone! Kyra x

06/12/2022

Congratulations to the 2022 AQ Recognition Award winners and special commendees and thank you to all finalists who were able to join us at the Awards presentation and International Day of People Disability Afternoon Tea hosted by AQ Patron and Queensland Governor Her Excellency Dr Jeannete Young AC PSM and Professor Graeme Nimmo. https://bit.ly/3uphwTa

03/12/2022

Aspie Kids Academy consists of a passionate team of strengths-based child/parent/family: psychologists, counsellors and therapy assistants. We offer Neurofeedback as part of our therapeutic support plan for you and your family.

31/08/2022

I thought you Aspie parents would enjoy this one. My 7-year-old son who mostly plays with the girls at school, has been having friendship challenges. Nothing unusual for Aspie kids who don’t understand the on-and off/hot-and-cold friendship stuff. He’s been feeling quite left out and lonely. But tonight….

Me: (my usual check in) So how did you go today? Did you play with anyone?
Archer: No not today (sad voice). (Then quickly and awkwardly) But, it’s all fine now mum, it’s all fine. But, um, mum you’re not going to like it…
Me: (constantly coaching him around the fact that he needs to join in other peoples game choices to keep his friends, not just expect people to join him in his choices) What happened?
Archer: I just didn’t want ”friend” to help me with my volcano at lunch. I wanted to do it on my own.
Me: (facepalm) Archer? What’s more important, volcanoes or people?
Archer: (without a breath) Volcanoes? (Then quickly) I mean people, sorry people!
🤣

I should explain that if his overarching goal this term had not been “to reconnect and avoid loneliness” my response would have been a very different one.
The conversation continued with why he might be needing more alone time this week (teacher leaving) and the importance of letting his friends know he still loves them.

30/08/2022

Autistic burnout is so important to understand. Particularly I think for our aspie parents who are wondering why it’s getting harder for them over time and not easier. You may in fact be experiencing depressed mood due to autistic burnout. I could not have explained better so I’m reposting Tony’s words.

What is Autistic Burnout?

An autistic life is not an easy life. There is the potential for great stress and chronic exhaustion from trying to cope with social and sensory experiences, being misunderstood and criticized, high levels of anxiety and, for many reasons, not feeling in touch with or able to be the authentic self. In addition, there may be self-imposed expectations that are greater than coping mechanisms and abilities. Subsequent stress can build up over time that can lead to autistic burnout, which is characterised by increased social withdrawal, a form of ‘hibernation’ and reduced executive functioning, the frontal lobes are “closed” awaiting recovery.

Camouflaging, which was first recognized as an adaptation to autism by girls and women, we now recognize as also occurring with males and as one of the many reasons why an autistic individual may experience an autistic burnout.

Signs of Autistic Burnout:
The concept of an autistic burnout has come from autobiographies, Internet support groups and clinical experience. The provisional criteria for autistic burnout, according to Higgins et al (2021) are:

1. Significant mental and physical exhaustion
2. Interpersonal withdrawal
3. With one or more of the following:

• Significant reduction in social, occupational, educational, academic, behavioural, or other important areas of functioning
• Confusion, difficulties with executive function and/or dissociative states
• Increased intensity of autistic traits and/or reduced capacity to camouflage/mask autistic characteristics

There can be associated features such as:

• Low self-esteem and not knowing what to do to restore mental energy levels
• Confusion as to whether the signs are indicative of a clinical depression
• Loss of self-care skills and ability to regulate emotions
• Persistent difficulties with daily living skills.

When considering whether someone has autistic burnout, it is important to review the similarities and differences between autistic burnout and depression. In comparison to the signs of depression, in autistic burnout, there is increased sensory sensitivity and the need to isolate in order to recover. The current clinical and experiential wisdom is that autistic burnout is a cause of depression and that the depression is likely to reduce if measures are taken to resolve the causes of autistic burnout.

We explore strategies to reduce the likelihood of experiencing an autistic burnout and ways to recover in our upcoming autistic girls and women event.

https://attwoodandgarnettevents.com/product/autistic-girls-and-women/

Description:
This presentation celebrates the unique presentation of girls and women on the autism spectrum. The presentation will equip the participant to:

o Understand why autistic girls and women are underdiagnosed
o Recognise camouflaging and compensation coping mechanisms
o Recognise the ways the profile of abilities for autistic girls may be different to boys at different stages of development
o Appreciate the different pathways to diagnosis in autistic adolescent girls and women
o Utilise two new screening tools (QAS-C) designed to identify the characteristics of ASD level 1 in children and adolescents and in women
o Understand issues regarding self-identity and low self-esteem for autistic girls and women
o Strategies to enhance the concept of self
o Learn activities in a group programme (Being Me) developed for teenage girls with ASD
o Recognition of the effects of alexithymia and empathic attunement on the ability to experience and express emotions
o Strategies to recognise and regulate emotions
o The value of Energy Accounting to reduce the depth and duration of depression
o Understanding how Polyvagal theory can facilitate emotion management
o Learn strategies to develop friendship skills in childhood and adolescence
o Choose resources to improve social reasoning abilities
o Understand issues regarding adult relationships, especially vulnerability, sexuality and being a mother
o Learn best ways for seeking and maintaining employment

What You Will Receive:
 Access to the recording for 60 days following the live event
 A Live Chat Room for Q&A with Tony & Michelle throughout the day
 Downloadable Handouts to complement the course
 Certificate of Attendance
 This live course counts for 5.5 hours of Continuing Professional Development or Teacher Accreditation hours. (For NSW Teachers: the course may be recorded as an elective PD with NESA).

** The information in this post is from peer-reviewed research and the perspectives and experiences of many autistic individuals from clinical experience and communications and may not apply to each person.

30/08/2022

Particularly relevant for our Aspie kids who thrive on and draw such comfort from that space of predictability.

Did you know that when your toddler watches the same movie over and over, there are actual solid benefits? I’m not just saying this to make it more tolerable for you—-apparently, studies have shown that this sets your kids up for success.⁣ 🌱
Here are a few benefits of watching the same movie a zillion times. ⁣
✔️It empowers kids as they know what to predict ⁣
✔️Children learn the world is safe and predictable
✔️It gives kids confidence
✔️It’s satisfying when predictions are right on
✔️it’s a break from new information
✔️Predicting what’s about to happen develops logical thinking
⁣From The Healthiest Baby

What movie has your child watched a thousand times?

30/08/2022

Thanks to Keywell for producing loads of neuroaffirming resources. Check out their page for more helpful stuff.

23/03/2022

My nearly 12-year-old client said to me that when she goes to her sport practice evenings she acts “silly” but it’s really just her being more herself in that space. She said a friend of hers told her “you’re being really silly, you should stop that”. My client said to me in session, very profoundly, “But I’m just being me. Should I stop being me?” No way honey! You need to let your beautiful, quirky, funny, silly self shine wherever you can.

I love that therapy affords my precious clients the space to vocalize these thoughts. Because even if our kids on the spectrum are not saying them out loud, they are definitely thinking them! “Is it okay to be me?” “Am I a cool human?” “Am I good enough?” “Should I change to be acceptable to others?” And, if left unspoken, the answers in their heads to these questions may be different to the ones they get from their trusted therapist. Thus reinforcing the familiar path of self-doubt, low confidence, social anxiety, hyper-analyzing, and identity confusion.

Let’s reflect on those opportunities where we as therapists, family, friends have the chance to remind and reinforce to our vulnerable developing aspie kids that they are cool just the way they are, instead of telling them they need to be different to be accepted. Yep silly and quirky can become a frustration for those onlooking, but only to those who are not simultaneously embracing their inner Aspie!