30/01/2026
Yesterday while my kids were playing on the school playground before school, I noticed that one of my daughter’s friends was sitting alone, quite upset.
I approached her and asked if she was okay and she shared with me that she had been bullied at before school care.
When I asked her what these kids had said to her, she expressed that during a ball game they were all playing, the other kids said she’s had too many turns..
Now, whilst I as an adult can understand that some of these other kids were just expressing their frustration about how the game was going and it wasn’t a personal attack, she had quite clearly received their words and energy in a different way, giving it a different meaning.
I gave her a hug, explained the situation in a way that she could understand and made sure she knew that I was a safe adult for her to approach if she ever needs to.
And as I was reflecting on it afterwards, I thought about all the different ways this trauma could play out for her in her adulthood.
Yes.. trauma.
You see, even though this may have seemed like a pretty ‘minor’ situation, trauma isn’t the event that occurred, it’s the effect that event has on the nervous system.
The way I explain it to clients is a trauma is when negative emotions become trapped in your body during an event and are therefore still affecting the way that you perceive or respond to certain situations today (as well as what we do or don’t attract).
In that moment, it would have been less about 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 these kids were saying to her and more about 𝐡𝐨𝐰 they were saying it.
She would have seen anger on their faces and felt anger in their tone and energy, resulting in her feeling unsafe, vulnerable and giving it meanings about her own self worth.
In a nutshell , this can be how limiting beliefs are formed.
And possible one’s that could have formed here are:
I’m not a good person
I’m not a likeable person
I am selfish
I have to put other’s wants above my own
I need to play small to protect myself
just to name a few..
Can you see how this could be the case?
To be continued in the comments..