19/02/2022
Childhood abandonement wound in action 👉
This is something that was written up during a couples therapy session I was in.
At that point in time, I really struggled to open my heart to my partner and be vulnerable! I struggled to enjoy or even appreciate my partner because I was so guarded and full of resentment.
I did not have much role modelling growing up to know what a happy, healthy, and emotionally intelligent relationship looks like so I developed a lot of coping mechanisms which consequently led to feeling alone in relationships in adult life.
On reflection, from where I stand now in my life. We didn't really know ourselves and didn't want to be alone. So the separation and chord cutting was very painful. Luckily we had an awesome therapist that supported us with what you call a 'conscious uncoupling' of the relationship and we had a clear direction on how to proceed with breaking up.
Sometimes when being alone and in-between romantic relationships all the past childhood stuff comes up. There is an opportunity to 'do the work', seek spirituality, or Netflix and chill.
For me I banged my head against a wall for a few more years, got into another relationship, went through hell, found God and now letting Jesus coach me into my relationships. Everybody's journey is different to mine so I honour yours and pray for peace and flow.
Love and blessings ❤️🙏