25/10/2021
Since I was 14 years old, I was not been in the body I was assigned.
“When will be get the rest of my b***s mum” was asked many times.
She told me they’d come and I’d hate them.
They never came. Not even when breastfeeding.
My body was beautiful, strong, glorious, functional and pleasurable... but it wasn’t mine.
When I would catch my reflection I would be shocked.
For the longest time - 33years, I had done all I could to reconcile the mismatch.
Even with all the tools I know and use to process emotional, mental and spiritual challenges, I could not get past the fact that despite all the self love and admiration I had for that body, I never felt like home.
18 days ago I walked myself in a surgical theatre, lay myself down and surrendered to the process of changing the body so that it might feel like home.
I have never in my life made such a loving, powerful, enriching decision for ME.
The day following surgery I caught my reflection in my peripheral vision and instead of shock at the reality, I had a calm “yes, this is who I am” knowing deep in my core.
I strongly and passionately advocate autonomy of body and self for everyone.
“My body, my choice. Your body, your choice” is a mantra in our family.
This is MY body.
I am home.
‘Cosmetic’ surgery is not always superficial. And sometimes it is. And that’s ok too. Because everyone gets to do what the f**k they choose with their body.
An enormous pouring of gratitude to my friends and family who supported me in practical and loving ways. I could not have done this and healed as well as I have without you.
Gratitude also to the women in my life who celebrated my courage and encouraged me to live authentically.
Gratitude to the men in my life who supported me to be me without making this choice a big deal at all, or having an opinion on what should happen to/with my body.
Particularly my son josh who when I told him my plans said ‘oh, cool... good for you...’ and moved on to the next topic of conversation.
This level of normalcy is the future. Young people are showing us the way.
For anyone considering breast augmentation I am happy to answer ANY questions.