20/12/2024
We all need to understand this:
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When a man has never experienced a safe masculine presence in his life, he often unconsciously seeks safety in the feminine.
So, dear man, your woman cannot be your father. She has her own role—she is your wife. She is not here to provide you with masculinity or to fill the void left by a lack of safe masculine role models in your life.
If she leads the relationship, it is not because she wants to, but because your wounded manhood creates space for her to take charge. And when she steps into this role, resentment may build on both sides. You may find yourself frustrated, not with her, but with the reflection of your unhealed wounds, as your innate manhood strives to reassert itself.
This dynamic often leads to problems in relationships. It isn’t because the woman has failed, but because the man is unknowingly asking her to fulfill a role she was never designed to play. A woman is an embodiment of the feminine—she nurtures, loves, and inspires. But she cannot provide the foundation of masculine strength that a man needs to stand tall in his purpose.
Dear man, it’s time to reflect. Ask yourself: are you seeking your partner to fill the gap of what your father, or other masculine figures, could not provide? Are you burdening her with unspoken expectations, hoping she will give you the safety and validation you never received from men in your life?
True healing begins when you recognize these patterns. You must embrace your own journey of reclaiming your masculinity. Masculinity is not dominance or control; it is presence, protection, and unwavering steadiness. When you embody these qualities, your relationship will naturally shift into balance.
Understand this: your woman cannot thrive in her feminine essence if she is forced to step into the masculine role. She may do it temporarily out of love and necessity, but over time, it will drain her. A woman flourishes when she feels safe, cherished, and supported by her man.
The work lies with you, dear man. Heal the wounds left by an absent or unsafe masculine presence. Seek mentors, coaches, or communities where you can learn to embody healthy masculinity. Surround yourself with men who challenge you to grow, who hold you accountable, and who inspire you to become a better version of yourself.
As you heal, you will notice a transformation in your relationship. Your woman will feel the shift. She will feel your strength, your presence, and your reliability. And when she feels this, she will naturally return to her feminine energy, creating harmony and passion between you both.
Remember, your woman is not your emotional crutch. She is your partner, your lover, and your mirror. She will reflect back to you what you need to work on, not because she wants to criticize you, but because she sees your potential to grow.
The journey to reclaiming your masculinity may not be easy, but it is essential. For when you step into your role as a man, you do not just heal yourself—you create a safe space for your woman to thrive, for your children to grow, and for your family to flourish.
So, dear man, take responsibility. Not just for her sake, but for yours. Step into the fullness of your masculine energy, and watch as your relationships transform into the safe, loving partnerships they were meant to be.
Your woman cannot be your father, nor can she be your healer. But she can be your greatest ally, your most profound inspiration, and the soft place where your heart finds peace—if you allow her to be.
- Abhikesh
