10/11/2025
We don’t need to use fear, threats, punishment, or “because I said so” to guide our children.
When a child is overwhelmed, “misbehaving,” defiant, or shutting down, what we’re actually seeing is a nervous system seeking safety.
Our children aren’t giving us a hard time they are having a hard time.
Connection shifts everything.
When a child:
• feels seen
• feels safe
• feels like their feelings make sense to us
Their body begins to settle.
And it’s through our regulation that their nervous system finds its way back to calm.
This is co-regulation, their emotional system borrowing ours.
When the body relaxes, the thinking brain (prefrontal cortex) comes back online.
That’s when:
• cooperation returns
• listening becomes possible
• repair and learning can happen
Not through fear.
Not through shame.
Not through threat.
But through relationship.
A regulated nervous system invites a calm nervous system.
Our connection becomes the container that helps their emotions integrate instead of overflow.
This is the heart of Trauma-Aware Parenting.
We lead with presence, not power.
If you want to learn how to actually do this in real moments, the meltdowns, the defiance, the tears, the overwhelm, join the Trauma-Aware Parenting course. We go deep into co-regulation, emotional attunement, repair, play connection, and nervous system safety.
Comment “course” and I’ll send you the link 🤍