CUE Counselling WA

04/03/2022

Anger

Anger is an emotion we are all familiar with. It can be described as an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat. It can potentially lead to destructive behaviours like bullying, vandalism, threats, vengeance and physical violence.

Like the stress response, anger is an evolutionary adaptation that once helped us to survive adverse conditions. Typically, the anger response is triggered during periods of perceived threats to our lives or a sense of unfairness of something happening to us. Once triggered, the amygdala (an old section of the brain) kicks in, prompting the release of two key hormones – adrenaline and testosterone – which prime the body for physical aggression by increasing heart rate and elevating blood pressure. As such, anger has been considered to be part of the “Fight or Flight” response.

Therefore, it should be noted that anger is a normal and natural emotion. However, it is how we express that anger that will determine if it is constructive or destructive to others or ourselves. The fact that it’s normal and natural has also lead psychologists to point out that suppression of anger may have harmful effects. Studies exist linking suppressed anger to medical conditions such as hypertension, coronary artery disease, and cancer. In women, suppressed or repressed anger has also been found to cause irritable bowel syndrome, eating disorders, and depression. In addition, if anger is supressed it can often manifest in explosive outbursts at inappropriate times and aimed at innocent parties.

The question then becomes, “If anger is normal, and shouldn’t be repressed, how can it be used/managed in a positive or constructive way?” Like many other physical and mental health conditions, one of the first steps is attaining a level of self-awareness. This will allow you to acknowledge its existence and that it’s a problem. Self-awareness also helps you recognize the signs and symptoms of anger before becoming gripped by an uncontrolled anger response. These signs and symptoms may be different for each individual but may include being able to identify the types of things and situation that trigger your anger. Other symptoms may include feeling flushed, increased breathing and heart rate, butterflies in the tummy and muscle tremors.

Once you can recognise you are becoming angry, then it is this same self-awareness that will help enable you to de-escalate the situation and take a more measured approach to any response. Here are four simple steps you can take to de-escalate anger:

1. Acknowledge your anger and take a moment to be aware of your feelings
2. Perform deep breathing exercises (this will give your brain time to re-engage)
3. Examine the situation that triggered your anger again with fresh eyes
4. Think of a way to express yourself / anger in a way that won’t antagonise others

If you find that your anger has become detrimental to your life and relationships, then seeking the aid of a counsellor can also be of benefit. Together you can examine your anger and develop strategies to better identify and manage your feelings and outcomes.

If you feel counselling could be of benefit, please visit my website at cuecounsellingwa.com.au to make enquiries or an appointment.

17/10/2021

The Stigma of Mental Heath

Mental health–related stigma is a catch-all term that includes social (public) stigma, self-stigma (perceived), professional stigma, and cultural stigma.

Social stigma refers to the negative attitudes toward a person experiencing mental health illness. This is usually rooted in the misperception that people with a mental illness have a weak character. This can lead to discrimination, avoidance, and rejection and is usually the type of stigma discussed most often.
Self-stigma is the internalisation of social stigma, in that the person with the mental illness feels shame about his or her symptoms.

Professional stigma assumes that health professionals transfer and reinforce stigmatisation of their clients, while cultural stigma comprises the various ways that individual cultures interpret mental illness (Cerully et al., 2018; Hack et al., 2020; Holder et al., 2019).

There is a link between the level of stigma one believes they face and the attitude that their disorders should be kept secret. Secrecy becomes harmful in terms of hopelessness and social isolation, which is associated with suicidal ideation.

The solution is simple, and that is to stop the stigma. As individuals we need to develop a better understanding of mental health issues and start to dispel the myths surrounding people that have a mental health challenge. As we would not think less of a person with a physical health issue, so we should not think less of those with a mental health issue.

Remember, support is on hand.

10/08/2021

Know the Signs

Mental health disorders are a widespread problem. However, only one quarter to one third of people with a diagnosable problem will seek help. This issue is particularly prevalent in men, who seek help at about half the rate as women. Compounding this, statistics show that women are twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with depression, but men are four times more likely to die from su***de. This suggests that many men may also have mental health issues that go largely undiagnosed. Furthermore, there are also indications there exists an unconscious gender bias in diagnostic judgment between men and women with the same diagnostic test score for depression.

One factor that also cannot be ignored is the differences in how men and women manifest symptoms of depression. It has been shown that various factors, such as socialization, may lead to men exhibiting depression through “male-typical depressive symptoms”. These can include aggression, irritability, violence, substance abuse, risky behavior, or somatic complaints—none of which are included in the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) diagnosis criteria for Major Depressive Disorder. Furthermore, there are no standardized instruments addressing these male-typical symptoms, which further contribute to the under-diagnosis of depression in men. However, it is not just the men themselves who suffer. As male-typical depressive symptoms are often externalized, others within the individual’s social circle, such as children and spouses, will also suffer.

So, know the signs of Male-Typical Depressive Symptoms:

• Aggression
• Irritability
• Violence
• Substance Abuse
• Risky Behaviour
• Somatic complaints (pain, dizziness, digestive problems etc)

Don’t wait till your “standing of the ledge” to take action. Talk to your GP or seek help from a counsellor or other mental health professional.

For information on counselling, please visit cuecounsellingwa.com.au or email me on robmarano@cuecounsellingwa.com.au

Information for this article was obtained from:
Jarrod B. Call, BS1 and Kevin Shafer, PhD1: “Gendered Manifestations of Depression and Help Seeking Among Men”; American Journal of Men’s Health 2018, Vol. 12(1) 41–51

16/07/2021

As promised, here are some tips on stress relief. It's by no means exhaustive.

Stress Relief

I will try to break this down into two sections, the “Short-Term” and the “Long-Term”. The benefits of short term stress relief is that it is typically fast acting, can be done anywhere, requires no special skills and is free. Long terms stress relief will lead to a more permanent solution, but will require a level of routine and commitment to maintain. However, the benefits can be enormous.

Short-Term
- Take controlled deep breaths – Increases your oxygen flow and calms the mind.
- Take a quick walk to release any nervous energy
- Hug a loved one – releases oxytocin
- Count backwards from 10 – refocuses the mind.

Long Term
- Exercise – The choice is yours but exercise will have many health benefits
- Meditate – Is a way to reconnect mind and body
- Have a healthy balanced diet – Like exercise; it will have many health benefits.
- Sleep – Adequate sleep is extremely important for good mental health
- Leisure Activities – go out an do what you enjoy, perhaps with a friend
- Reduce the things that cause stress – not always possible (unfortunately)
- Support Network – Friends and family can always help and if necessary, seek the help of a professional.

If you need help or would like to know more, contact me at robmarano@cuecounsellingwa.com.au or visit my website cuecounsellingwa.com.au

06/07/2021

The Science of Stress

We have all heard about it, we have probably all experienced it at some point in our lives. But what is it, and why does it occur. In this post I will try to explain the purpose of stress and its consequences in modern day life.

Stress is a naturally occurring biological process that is triggered when there is a perceived threat to our survival. It is an evolutionary process that is designed to help keep us alive and consists of a complex cascade of hormonal, biochemical and behavioral processes. Presently, this may sound contrary to what we know about stress today and its roll in adverse negative physical and mental health. So, how did a process that once facilitated improved survival, become the cause of a host of diseases? To answer that, we must go back to the abovementioned cascade of biological events.

When the cascade is triggered, the hormones and biochemicals released facilitate a number of processes. It causes hyper-arousal and vigilance, to make us more wary and alert to possible threats around us. Useful if we are under predation. It also stimulates reproduction, feeding and growth, as well as increased respiration, oxygenation, metabolism, water retention and detoxification. Again, these are all useful processes for survival if food or water becomes limited for a time and we need to preserve our physical status. However, in a modern society, these sorts of stresses are no longer the main issue. Our main stressors today are in the form of financial pressure, family issues, work related stress etc, none of which can be considered a true threat to our life. However, the body cannot differentiate between those perceived threats and true threats to our life. Consequently, the same cascade is triggered. In addition, the modern day threats are generally constant, causing the stress response to remain permanently “on”. It is this “chronic stress response” that is the cause of our ill-health. Consider if you will, the stress response that makes us hyper-vigilant, if turned on permanently it can lead to anxiety, insomnia, social withdrawal and depression. Increased feeding will lead to obesity and increased metabolic processes, that once helped improved wound healing and tissue integrity, will now lead to pain and fatigue syndromes. These are just a few examples.

Therefore, it would seem quite clear that stress reduction, combined with diet an exercise, is an important part of maintaining a healthy life. The question now becomes, “How do I reduce my stress levels”. This I will make the subject of my next post. Stay tuned.

12/01/2021

13/12/2020

A note on Grief
Grief is an emotion usually associated with loss. While your first instinct may consider the loss to be that of a loved one or family member, it can also be related to a loss of almost anything that is important to you. This may include loss of a pet, a job/income, loss of a sentimental object or loss of a friendship. Grieving is a normal reaction used to process the loss we have suffered. Grieving may also manifest in many forms. There is no "normal" way to grieve and is highly individualised. Some may cry, others use humour while others still may show anger or isolate themselves. Any one person may also experience a range of different emotions (think Kübler-Ross' 5 stages of grief). The time spent in the grieving process may also be highly variable. If you know someone who has suffered a loss, show empathy and support. Try not to fix their suffering or try to cheer them up. Allow them to be in the emotion. However, be mindful and any potentially harmfully activities such as drug and alcohol abuse. Most of us will come through it; but the pain will always be there. What usually happens is that while the pain of the loss may stay the same, our life surrounding it becomes larger, so the pain becomes less noticeable. If you find yourself struggling to move on, don't be afraid to seek help from any support systems you may have, be they family and friends or a professional counsellor. The latter of which can help you through the process at your own pace.
Good mental health to all.

29/10/2020

Hi All, there has been a lot of talk recently about mental health issues with all the lockdowns and the threat of COVID looming over us for some time to come. However, it may be useful to recognise when someone is in mental health distress.

Generally speaking, you would be looking for a change in a persons character. For example:

- Avoiding social contact (outside of a pandemic of course)
- Increased risk taking
- Frequent changes in mood
- Self harm
- Loss of enjoyment in social activities (e.g. Sport)
- Missing social engagements (e.g. training, classes etc)
- Substance misuse

These are just some of the signs and symptoms. If you do notice these things, don't be afraid to "Start the Conversation". This could be something as simple as asking if they are OK. If they are not, the next step is to find the supports they need, be it professional, or family and friends.

Also, take the time for some self examination to see if you yourself are exhibiting any signs of mental distress. Often, pressures can creep up without us noticing. If you do notice these things in yourself, please seek help and support. Don't be afraid to start you own conversation with someone you trust.

Good health to all.

Rob Marano

25/07/2020

COUNSELLING FOR ANXIETY.
Feeling anxious and fearful is a normal human emotion. These feelings help keep people alert and allow them to escape from threats. However, anxiety disorders can cause fear and stress in situations where there are no threats. It can lead to negative coping mechanisms such as avoidant behaviours and possibly substance abuse. Counselling can be an effective treatment for stress and anxiety using a range of methods tailored to suit personal requirements. This may include mindfulness and grounding techniques, and CBT. With time, stressful and anxious feelings can be overcome and allow a return to a normal way of life. Visit cuecounsellingwa.com.au for further information.

09/07/2020

First posted by myself for Outside the Locker Room

Coping With Redundancy

Jobs and careers are an important aspect of life. Not only as a source of income, but they are also a means by which many of us define ourselves. “I’m a fireman/teacher/sportsperson/carpenter etc”. It’s also one of the first questions we may ask someone we have just met….”So, what do you do?”.

Therefore, losing your job, either through redundancy or other means, can have a profound effect on your wellbeing, as many who have been through the process can attest. It can leave you with a host of negative feelings, both physical and emotional, ranging from general stress, anxiety, fear, anger, a sense of hopelessness and a loss of identity. These are all normal reactions.

However, there are several things you can do to minimise the negative impacts of redundancy.

1) Allow yourself time.

− With any type of loss it is important to give yourself time to grieve and process what has occurred. However, you should also try to avoid engaging in negative coping mecahisms such as alcohol, isolation and inactivity.

2) Engage with your support networks.

− A job loss can create a lot of pressure and strain on relationships. If you are married or in a committed relationship, it is important that you be honest with your partner about what has happened and how you feel. Your partner can be your greatest pillar of support and an ally for planning for the future. Family and friends can also provide a high level of emotional support, so don’t be afraid to reach out. There are other blogs on this site that provide useful tips on how to stay grounded (https://otlr.org.au/ways-to-stay-grounded/).

3) Be active, not reactive.

− Following a job loss it can be easy to fall into negative habits such a becoming a couch potato or turning to alcohol or other substances. Try to remain active, both physically and mentally. Exercise, taking on household repairs and reading cannot be underestimated in maintaining wellbeing. As the saying goes, “a healthy mind in a healthy body”. Also, consider volunteering to remain active and maintain a work structure. Plus, you never know what kinds of contacts you may make that you can add to your network.

4) Explore your options.

− Once you have dealt with the initial shock of losing your job it may be time to start exploring your options. Begin by asking yourself questions such as “Do I want the same type of job?”, or “Is this an opportunity for change?”. Expand your chances by exploring your skill sets and consider how they may be applied to other types of employment. Also, related to step 2, make full use of any Government assistance, such as Centrelink for financial support and JobActive to help with Job plans and potential training opportunites.

5) Set some goals and develop a plan.

− Once you have explored your options you may find a greater sense of clarity. Set some goals and develop plans, including timelines to fulfill them. For example, one such goal may be “Engage in a training course – complete in 6 months”. A plan may then be 1) Find a training college/TAFE that offers the course, 2) Contact them to discuss enrollment, fees, online or on campus etc. 3) Enrol, 4) Develop study routine, 5) Complete course. Remember, keep the goals acheivable and the plans simple. If you don’t quite reach the set goal, not a problem. Simply reset the goal and make the necessary changes to the plan. Remember, plans are not set in stone and need to be reviewed and changed on a regular basis according to circumstances.

6) Engage with a professional.

− Possibly one of the more difficult things a person may consider. However, if you find yourself struggling with the previous tips and suggestions, a trained professional can be a big help. This may include a General Counsellor to help with your emotional needs, goal setting and planning, a Financial Counsellor to help manage money matters and/or a Careers Counsellor to help with the hunt for a new job.

In summary, take some time for yourself, don’t despair, utilise the people and resources at hand, try to remain active both physically and mentally, set some goals, and if need be, seek professional help.

27/03/2020

We all know what is happening, I don't need to repeat it. We also know the effect it is having on the population. Some of us are showing remarkable resilience in the face of this adversity. However, just by reading the FB posts there are many who are (justifiably) suffering with anxiety, fear and loneliness. If you find yourself not coping, I ask that you take some comfort in knowing that you are not alone. One way of alleviating your fears and anxiety is to make full use of your resources at hand. This may mean family, friends, support groups, pets and technology that helps you stay connected with others, if not physically, then emotionally. As the saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved, and joy shared is joy doubled. If you know someone who may be struggling, reach out to them, if you are the one struggling, then make use of your resources and get connected. If there is no-one you feel comfortable confiding in, the don't be afraid to seek the services of a professional. To help with this need, CUE Counselling WA is currently offering online sessions (Skype, FaceTime etc) for all clients at a special reduced rate of $55 per hour session. Please don't hesitate to contact me at robmarano@cuecounsellingwa.com.au and together we can get through this most difficult time and emerge on the other side.

25/11/2019

LONELINESS - Human beings are social species that require safe and secure social surroundings to survive. Satisfying social relationships are essential for mental and physical well being. Impaired social relationship can lead to loneliness, which is caused not by being alone, but by being without some definite needed relationship or set of relationships. Loneliness reminds us of the pain and warns us of the threat of becoming isolated. Left untended, loneliness can have serious consequences for mental and physical health.

Loneliness is generally reported more among adolescents and young children, contrary to the myth that it occurs more in elderly. The reason for this is that elder people have definite coping skills and can adjust accordingly to solitude, while adolescents lack definite coping skills and the adolescent period is a time of life when being accepted and loved is of such major importance to the formation of one’s identity. However elderly who have physical illness and disability report higher prevalence of loneliness, compared to elderly without physical illness and disability. Therefore it is necessary to intervene at the right time to prevent the psychological problems and physical disorders arising due to affects of loneliness.

The primary risk factors associated with loneliness include being female, being widowed, living alone, being aged, health factors, material resources and a limited number of ‘social’ resources.

If loneliness is affecting your life, visit cuecounsellingwa.com.au where we can discuss strategies to combat loneliness. Your first appointment is free.