Melissa Topping RN RM IBCLC

09/04/2023

20/03/2023

Fed is not best, educated and supported is best!
I love this, couldn’t have articulated this any better than Half Assed Hippie Mama 👏

“Don’t worry! Fed is best anyways!” A doctor at the hospital tells a mother who just birthed her baby who won’t latch.

“Don’t worry, they all grow up to eat chicken nuggets anyways!” Laughs the nurse at a babies 3rd well visit, he isn’t gaining weight the way they want.

“Don’t worry! It hurt me to nurse too so I stopped!” Says a woman to her friend over lunch as she watches her cringe in pain.

“Don’t worry! A bottle will help her sleep through the night.” Says a husband to his wife when the alarm goes off to feed.

“Don’t worry! He’ll never remember you stopped!” Says a coworker to his friend who’s freezer supply is dwindling and she’s struggling to get more then an ounce.

Don’t worry they all said. Fed is best anyways.

She cried for help.
She sobbed in that office.
She called her friend exhausted.
She went to anyone she could.
She begged. She pleaded.

But fed is best anyways.

A phrase we started to help moms know it’s okay if it just simply “doesn’t work out”
Is crippling thousands of woman.

Choosing formula over breastfeeding is a choice. Yet the mothers choosing breast are having that choice ripped from them - before they ever stood a chance.

So I encourage you, next time a mom is begging for support, don’t turn to her and say “Well fed is best anyways!”

Ask her what you can do.
Help her read the books.
Help her search on google.
Help her find an IBCLC.
Help her get the help she needs.

The western world has the lowest and shortest breastfeeding terms globally. I’ll let you do the math on why you think that is.

If you are a mother who struggled and had your journey end before you were ready, I stand with you. My heart hurts for you.
Just know there are woman like me, doing everything we can to make sure the next generation doesn’t have to beg and plead for the help they need.

Simply Sacred Birth

27/02/2023

Couldn’t agree more Katie Flourish Lactation. X

This is the one thing I say to ALL new families and I think it’s critical.

In a world where there is SO much noise, parents need to fight to find their way back to their babies.

Why is he not sleeping in his cot?
What do you mean you’re still breastfeeding him?
Can she really not sit up yet?
My baby never cried like that!
Allergies weren’t a thing when I was having kids.
You feed her so often!
He can’t be hungry again!
Put her down! You’ll spoil her!
Just shut the door and walk away.
Babies need to eat, play, sleep.
You’re making a rod for your own back.
Make sure he has at least three naps a day of at least 1.5 hours.
Don’t let her feed to sleep whatever you do!
He’s using you as a dummy!
Don’t rush to pick him up so quickly.
Crying is good for their lungs.
You need to teach him how to self-settle.
Whatever you do, don’t make eye contact.

As a vulnerable new mum, I compared my baby to all my friends babies who were relaxed, slept well and breastfed four-hourly. I read about how he needed a certain number of hours of sleep for brain development and that I needed to teach him how to sleep ASAP. I nearly killed myself trying to get him to nap regularly and diligently watched him for any signs of tiredness so I didn’t miss a sleep window! I tracked every nappy, feed and sleep meticulously.

The reality was he fed 2 hourly 24/7 for the first year of his life (often more frequently!) he had extremely low sleep needs (9 hours in 24 as a newborn!) and he needed constant stimulation, touch and movement to keep him happy.

He was everything social media told me he shouldn’t be.

Nothing I did could make him like I thought he was supposed to be.

One day I proclaimed to a beautiful experienced IBCLC that there must be something wrong with him because HE NEVER SLEEPS!

She calmly said, ‘He just doesn’t need it! That’s just who he is. Get on with it!’

Her words hurt at the time. I wanted her to fix it.

But now I realise it was the wisest thing anyone ever said to me.

We need to get to know OUR babies, not the babies with think they should be.

Once you surrender and trust that your baby is EXACTLY who they are meant to be, motherhood becomes so much easier to carry.

27/02/2023

Couldn’t agree more Flourish Lactation. Ir

This is the one thing I say to ALL new families and I think it’s critical.

In a world where there is SO much noise, parents need to fight to find their way back to their babies.

Why is he not sleeping in his cot?
What do you mean you’re still breastfeeding him?
Can she really not sit up yet?
My baby never cried like that!
Allergies weren’t a thing when I was having kids.
You feed her so often!
He can’t be hungry again!
Put her down! You’ll spoil her!
Just shut the door and walk away.
Babies need to eat, play, sleep.
You’re making a rod for your own back.
Make sure he has at least three naps a day of at least 1.5 hours.
Don’t let her feed to sleep whatever you do!
He’s using you as a dummy!
Don’t rush to pick him up so quickly.
Crying is good for their lungs.
You need to teach him how to self-settle.
Whatever you do, don’t make eye contact.

As a vulnerable new mum, I compared my baby to all my friends babies who were relaxed, slept well and breastfed four-hourly. I read about how he needed a certain number of hours of sleep for brain development and that I needed to teach him how to sleep ASAP. I nearly killed myself trying to get him to nap regularly and diligently watched him for any signs of tiredness so I didn’t miss a sleep window! I tracked every nappy, feed and sleep meticulously.

The reality was he fed 2 hourly 24/7 for the first year of his life (often more frequently!) he had extremely low sleep needs (9 hours in 24 as a newborn!) and he needed constant stimulation, touch and movement to keep him happy.

He was everything social media told me he shouldn’t be.

Nothing I did could make him like I thought he was supposed to be.

One day I proclaimed to a beautiful experienced IBCLC that there must be something wrong with him because HE NEVER SLEEPS!

She calmly said, ‘He just doesn’t need it! That’s just who he is. Get on with it!’

Her words hurt at the time. I wanted her to fix it.

But now I realise it was the wisest thing anyone ever said to me.

We need to get to know OUR babies, not the babies with think they should be.

Once you surrender and trust that your baby is EXACTLY who they are meant to be, motherhood becomes so much easier to carry.

21/02/2023

I went to a farm recently and watched some calves nursing, when one, seemingly forcefully, headbutted his mother's udder a couple of times. The farmer saw the horror on my face (as a currently breastfeeding mother, I thought ah ouch!), and quickly explained this is called "bunting", it doesn't hurt the mother, just simply helps with the let-down. I then thought, oh yeah I have seen this many times over the years. I have even seen babies do this on the bottle. So of course it made sense to me that us mammals share some similar intuitive and innate behaviours!

07/02/2023

I love this 🙌
Sadly some parents experience the socio-cultural pressure to “train” their baby to sleep, or are questioned when they feed, cuddle, or comfort their baby to sleep, despite this being biologically “normal”.
Sadly, there seems to be this idea that the success of parenting is related to how well your baby sleeps independently. Unfortunately, companies cash in on this, by convincing purchases of soothing products to replace that of parent/human contact.
I always advocate for responsive parenting techniques, but I do acknowledge that all parents make the best choices specific to their circumstances and their family.

The nurture that happens when we support infant sleep is unparalleled.

When we hold our napping babies our babies get full body touch, they are immersed in our smell, they feel and hear our heartbeat and breath, they are kissed, they are nuzzled. Their nervous system synchronizes with ours. Every cell in their body is at peace. The safety they experience physically builds mental wellness into their brain. There is no other time other than naps or sleep where our babies can bathe in our nurturing presence and take in our signals in this way. Long interrupted stretches of contact don’t happen in awake states.

When we nurture our babies by feeding, rocking, holding or laying down as they fall asleep we are in a sacred place for nurture. We are giving them safety and the experience of relaxation. This intimate experience doesn’t happen at any other time. Bedtime is a unique time for the developing brain. We cuddle, sing, hold hands, tell stories, review the day, say goodnight to loved ones. It happens in a special way at bedtime and it’s important.

When we sleep close to our babies in the same room or bedsharing (always safely - see the highlight reel for safe sleep guidance) they experience our calming presence and/or touch for a consistent 8-12ish hours every day. This is brain building, sleep protecting and the only opportunity to spend this amount of time in nurture.

Morning hugs that drift into a snooze, nighttime scares helped by a squeeze, games and play at bedtime, cuddles, hands held, sickness comforted, all of this and more are unique nurturing experiences for the developing brain.

When we understand how powerful we are and take in the experiences - we also benefit. Our brains, many of the areas that grow in infancy are rewired in parenthood towards health.

Supporting sleep in a family bed has been the most connected we have felt as a family.

Nurturing sleep is deep nurture.

27/01/2023

Ever wondered if infants need extra fluid in the hot summer months?

Well check out this info⬇️

04/01/2023

25/12/2022

🎄Merry Christmas 🎄 Wishing you all a very happy and safe festive season with your nearest and dearest. Korey’s first Christmas 🥰

25/12/2022

🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄

From my family to yours, we wish you all a very happy and safe festive season.

Our first Christmas as a family of 5! 🥰

13/12/2022

📣 I’M BACK 🤱

Whilst I have loved having some time off with my little bub, and my family, I’m ready to get back out in to the community. If you, or any local families you know need infant feeding and/or parenting support, I’m here for you 🤗

Check out my link for a full description of all the consultations on offer, or feel free to contact me with any enquiries.