Relational Minds

15/12/2025

When Christmas joy turns into meltdown...

It starts with good intentions.
Family around. Noise. New routines. Late nights. Sugar. Expectations.
Then suddenly your child is crying, yelling, refusing, melting down on the kitchen floor while everyone is watching.
If this is your Christmas, you are not alone.
For many parents, this moment brings a rush of feelings.
Embarrassment. Frustration. Guilt. A tight chest.
You might think, “Why is this happening now?” or “I should be handling this better.”
Here is the key reframe.
Your child is not misbehaving. Their nervous system is overwhelmed.
And your job is not to fix the moment. It is to stay regulated enough to help them feel safe again.

Here are some practical ways to use PACE and DDP principles in the Christmas season.

First, regulate yourself
• Pause your body before your words.
• Drop your shoulders. Slow your breathing.
• Remind yourself, “My child is having a hard time, not giving me a hard time.”

Use Acceptance
• Name what you see without judgement. “This is all a bit much right now.”
• Let go of explaining or correcting in the moment.

Lead with Empathy
• Sit low. Soften your voice. “It’s been a big day. Too many people. Too many changes.”

Be Curious on their behalf
• Wonder quietly or aloud. “I wonder if your body is just exhausted.”

Add gentle Playfulness if it fits
• A silly whisper. A shared breath. A light comment.
• If playfulness increases distress, drop it. Safety comes first.

After the storm passes
• Repair. Stay close. “That was hard. I stayed with you. We got through it together.”

Christmas does not need perfect behaviour.
It needs enough safety, enough connection, and adults willing to slow the moment down.
That is how regulation grows.

Thanks for reading. Stay connected, stay curious.

12/12/2025

Australia’s under-16 social media ban has created a rare moment for families.

After years of feeling outpaced by screens, parents finally have a chance to pause, reset and step back into the centre of their child’s emotional world.

In the blog I share a few gentle, practical steps that help families make the most of this reset:
• Meet your child’s first reaction with calm acceptance rather than argument.
• Stay curious about what social media actually gave them, instead of rushing to reassure or correct.
• Build short daily rituals that replace scrolling with small shared moments.
• Use time in as your most powerful tool. Even ten minutes beside your child helps their brain settle.
• Expect some dysregulation as they adjust and respond with steady presence.
• Repair quickly when things get messy so the relationship stays safe.

These are small adjustments that help children feel supported as they lose a familiar coping tool and help parents move out of conflict and back into connection.

If your home has felt stretched by online pressures, this moment may offer the soft reset you have been waiting for.

Thanks for reading. Stay connected, stay curious.

You can read the full Article here: https://relationalminds.com.au/the-soft-reset/

28/11/2025

26/11/2025

Dr Alberto Veloso was honoured to receive AbSec’s Walking Together Award last week. The category recognises non Aboriginal services that work in real partnership with community to improve outcomes for Aboriginal families. The theme for the night was Honour the Past, Empower the Present, Shape the Future. A reminder that children are sacred. They carry tomorrow inside them. Protecting them means protecting our shared future.

The night carried a simple message. Children feel safe when the adults around them move together. They struggle when support keeps changing.
Things only work when a coordinated care system forms around them, when the adults move as one. Their bodies settle because the world around them settles.

This approach sits at the heart of Relational Minds. Our clinicians stay with OOHC children even when they move regions or change placements. We hold their story so they do not have to retell it.

We want to thank Burrun Dalai Aboriginal Corporation for their trust and guidance, and Catherine Liddle from SNAICC for her leadership on the night.
Dr Alberto has written a short reflection on our website for those who want to read more. https://relationalminds.com.au/systems-must-work-as-one

22/10/2025

Parenting a struggling child can feel like you’re running a marathon you never trained for.

Some days you feel strong and hopeful. Other days, you’re just surviving. You try every strategy, every professional, and still wonder if you’re getting anywhere.

But here’s the truth we see every day at Relational Minds — what looks like defeat is often the middle of the story, not the end.
When parents stay connected, when they keep showing up with curiosity and care, healing starts to unfold — slowly, quietly, and deeply.

In my latest article, I share reflections on the long arc of growth — in parenting, in leadership, and in ourselves.

If you’ve ever felt tired, uncertain, or afraid you’re not doing enough, hang in there.

Because when connection leads the way, families don’t just survive — they heal.

22/10/2025

Parenting a struggling child can feel like you’re running a marathon you never trained for.

Some days you feel strong and hopeful. Other days, you’re just surviving. You try every strategy, every professional, and still wonder if you’re getting anywhere.

But here’s the truth we see every day at Relational Minds — what looks like defeat is often the middle of the story, not the end.

When parents stay connected, when they keep showing up with curiosity and care, healing starts to unfold — slowly, quietly, and deeply.

In our latest article, Dr Alberto Veloso shares reflections on the long arc of growth — in parenting, in leadership, and in ourselves.

If you’ve ever felt tired, uncertain, or afraid you’re not doing enough, this piece is for you.

Read it here 👇
🔗 https://open.substack.com/pub/albertoveloso/p/the-space-between-defeat-and-arrival?r=41wjii&utm_medium=ios

Because when connection leads the way, families don’t just survive — they heal.

13/10/2025

The first three years of life shape everything.
Not with flashcards or routines—but with you.

This short clip from Diary of a CEO is a powerful reminder:
Being present, warm, and responsive builds your child’s brain more than anything else.
Not perfectly. Just consistently enough.

Watch it: https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1J3B6fXs9j/?mibextid=wwXIfr

It’s what your child needs most.
And if you didn’t get that as a kid? This might explain why certain things still feel hard.

Presence matters. It always has.

Be PACEful to yourself.

13/10/2025

So often we see a child’s behaviour as something to fix. But what if it’s their brain’s way of saying, “I’m not okay”?

In this video, Dr Alberto Veloso explains how children’s behaviours make sense when we look through a neurobiological lens. Every meltdown, withdrawal, or defiance is a coping mechanism—your child’s nervous system doing its best to feel safe.

When you start to see behaviour as communication, everything shifts. You move from frustration to curiosity. From control to connection.

You don’t have to fix your child. You can help shape how they cope—and that begins with understanding what their brain is really asking for.

Watch as Dr Veloso unpacks this powerful shift in perspective.

All children's behaviours can be understood at the brain level. Dr Alberto Veloso presents a way of understanding your child's brain. At Relational Minds we ...

05/10/2025

Dyslexia doesn’t just touch schoolwork, it shapes family life too.
 
For a child, the way parents, carers, and siblings respond matters more than the difficulties with words on a page. A safe, curious, and accepting home environment can make the difference between feeling “broken” and feeling valued.
 
The truth is, family connection is the strongest tool a child has. When children feel understood and supported at home, they’re more willing to try, take risks, and use their strengths.
 
Different doesn’t mean less. With family alongside them, dyslexic children grow in confidence, creativity, and resilience.
 

25/09/2025

You may have seen headlines claiming that paracetamol in pregnancy causes autism.

Here’s the truth:
The largest studies show no causal link.
The real risk often comes from untreated fever, not the medicine. Autism develops through a mix of genetics, development, and life experiences—not one choice or one medicine.

The science is clear. Paracetamol remains the safest first-line treatment for pain and fever during pregnancy.

If your child is autistic, nothing you did or didn’t do during pregnancy took away their potential. What matters most is the connection, safety, and opportunities you offer them now.

—
Always be PACEful to yourself.

04/09/2025

SU***DE PREVENTION MONTH 💜💜💜💜

29/08/2025

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜