Seaside Holistic Psychology

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Sydney, NSW
Seaside Holistic Psychology

Online Therapy. Trauma Informed Counselling

11/10/2025

“Our energy is precious … ignore the haters” ❤️

Love this reminder to be aware of who we give our time, energy and attention to!

03/10/2025

Humility is the ability to acknowledge potential personal wrongness, it is an essential part of moral character.
It is respecting others, being caring & compassionate AND it is directly related to our willingness to learn, be curious & open to feedback.
Humility is the opposite of arrogance, entitlement & an inflated sense of self importance.
It is being willing to allow for the possibility that we can be wrong instead of the arrogant insistence that it’s just not possible wrongness could lay at our feet.
When we practice humility we can reach a solution that is satisfactory to both sides, when the opportunity to practice humility is missed, talking gets us nowhere.
Some people are not willing to allow for the possibility that they could be wrong & may even lie or revise the truth to avoid being wrong. They may come to believe their revisions of the truth & struggle to move beyond “I’m right, you’re wrong, end of discussion.”
When this is the case, attempts to be reasonable will not work because some people are not interested in reason, they are only invested in being right or winning. Trying to get them to look at something they do or how they effect others can be exhausting!
The study of humility on its own as a trait or behaviour is fairly new to the scene. One of the questions is whether it can be taught & strengthened with practice, like a muscle. An issue could be that those most in need of developing this trait could be the most resistant.
What we do know though, is that humility is critical in sustaining healthy relationships x

06/09/2025

Growing up, I didn’t think boundaries were possible or even an option.
They were met with dismissal, derision, disregard, mockery & at times outright hostility.
If you were taught that your needs & wants were not important or even ok, you learn to not stand up for yourself.
Over time you start believe to believe that you’re not worth standing up for.
As I started to do more work on myself, making sure my actions aligned with my value system, with who I am & want to be, I realised that boundary work was really at the centre of it all.
Self worth & boundaries work in a loop.
They are intertwined.
Boundary work asks what YOU think, want & need.
Over time you start to realise that your thoughts, needs & wants are also important.
That you matter & you are worth standing up for.
That’s what boundaries do, they stand up for you.
If you grew up believing your wants & needs were not as important as other people’s, you might have resorted to fawning & pleasing, hoping somewhere in there you’ll also get what you need if you make the other person or people happy first.
Changing these patterns that were set up in childhood is not easy.
It is uncomfortable & for some, down right scary.
They were met with hostility, bullying, isolation & exclusion when they tried standing up for themselves.
We learnt at a young age that our worth was tied to having no boundaries.
Being loved meant not having our own thoughts & feelings.
Boundaries meant we were being difficult & felt guilty.
It is time to change these patterns.
Unhealthy boundaries create feelings of low self worth.
Healthy boundaries are kind, they give clarity to you & me, they allow us to live with integrity & accountability when we treat ourselves like we have equal value & worth x

24/07/2025

Hope is a good thing, however there is a difference between what Martha Stark calls ‘relentless hope’, that is the pursuit of the unattainable.
Versus a hope that is sustainable & rooted in reality.
We hope that one day this person will stop drinking, gambling, cheating, maybe even ask you how your day was without being prompted!
We hope that once they stop the behaviour that is causing us pain, life will be better. They will be the partner, parent, boss, friend, that we know they have the capacity to be.
Maybe they were different when you first met & you miss that person. Or maybe you see so much potential in who they could be one day.
But what if this is it?
Do you like who this person is as they are? Do you want to be around this person, spend time with them if they never ‘change’?
For some, when things are good, it is hard to remember or hard to imagine that things were ever bad! Or when things are bad it can be hard to imagine or hard to remember that things were actually good.
We may even be painfully aware of the need to let go of the hope that this person will change & accept the reality of who this person is. However to get from relentless hope to acceptance of what is, there is grief. Relentless hope is a way to protect ourselves form feeling the pain that goes with that grief.
The reality that this person will never change hurts too much so we hold on to hope. We probably even try harder to make things work!
Where relentless hope is a way of keeping us from the pain of what is. Realistic hope is having the capacity to accept what is & the heartbreak & grief that comes with that acceptance x

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Sydney, NSW

Telephone

+61401174054

Website

http://seasidepsychology.com/

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