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Counselling Northern Beaches

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Counselling Northern Beaches

Northern Beaches Counselling is offered by Jacob Montoya and Leisa Brown who are supervised by David 'Bhakti' Gotlieb

Counselling Northern Beaches is staffed by Jacob Montoya,and Leisa Brown. They are supervised by David 'Bhakti' Gotlieb, who has 40 years of experience and is the founder of Healing Inner Conflict (HIC). A modality that provides simple and effective methods of being able to deal with inner and outer conflicts. They can teach you, in a very short period of time, how to intervene internally in an ef
fective way to bring about real change. The result is a sustainable way to deal with disturbing behaviours. Counselling Northern Beaches can offer results that are sustainable because you'll be shown how to follow the signals of disturbance that you notice. By bringing understanding into areas that have remained a mystery, in the form of repetitive patterns in your inner or outer life, you will be able to move forward in a sustainable way.
fective way to bring about real change. The result is a sustainable way to deal with disturbing behaviours. Counselling Northern Beaches can offer results that are sustainable because you'll be shown how to follow the signals of disturbance that you notice. By bringing understanding into areas that have remained a mystery, in the form of repetitive patterns in your inner or outer life, you will be able to move forward in a sustainable way.

10/03/2026

Support, understanding, and guidance can make a powerful difference when navigating life’s challenges.

At Counselling Northern Beaches, our experienced counsellors are here to help individuals, couples, and families find clarity, balance, and meaningful change.

✨ Leisa Brown – An experienced counsellor who works with individuals and specialises in couples and family therapy using Healing Inner Conflict (HIC) principles, helping people reconnect with inner and outer harmony.

✨ Timothy Davey – A compassionate counsellor who uses Healing Inner Conflict (HIC) principles to help people and couples uncover the deeper purpose behind inner and outer conflicts, guiding them toward lasting clarity and growth.

Whether you are facing personal challenges, relationship difficulties, or seeking deeper self understanding, our team is here to support you every step of the way.

Take the first step toward better wellbeing.

🌐 Learn more or book a session:
www.counsellingnorthernbeaches.net.au

19/02/2026

Why do we need a healthy relationship with sadness? 💙🌧️

Because most of us don’t actually have one.

When we can’t tolerate sadness, we spend our lives trying to avoid it —
people-pleasing
controlling
overworking 💼,
numbing 🍷,
staying “strong” 💪.

Instead of simply being sad about what’s sad (loss, change, limits, unmet needs 💔), we try to control the outside world.

💙 But much of life isn’t controllable.

As children, avoiding sadness made sense 🧒. We were dependent.
We couldn’t leave. We couldn’t enforce boundaries.
Suppressing feelings helped us survive.

As adults, we have options ✨.
We can set boundaries. We can leave 🚶‍♀️.
We can protect ourselves 🛡️. That’s resourcefulness.

Yet if we still fear sadness, we’ll stay stuck in old survival patterns 🔁.

Sadness itself won’t destroy us. The fear of it might 🌊.

When we turn toward our sadness and say:
“Your feelings matter. You’re allowed to cry 😢. I’ve got you.” 🤍

Something softens 🌿
Relief appears 🌤️
Clarity appears
Healthy boundaries become possible.

When sadness is welcomed, it no longer has to shout. 🌈

30/05/2025

🧠 The 4 Survival Mechanisms in Healing Inner Conflict (HIC)

When we’re hurt early in life, we build layers of protection to survive. These become automatic — and often keep us stuck.

Here are the 4 core mechanisms we explore in HIC work:

1️⃣ CHILD – Internal Override
Inner critic forms to suppress emotion and stay safe.
🗣️ “Don’t cry. Don’t speak. Stay small.”

2️⃣ ADOLESCENT – External Override
Rebellion kicks in to push back against control.
🗯️ “You can’t tell me what to do!”

3️⃣ ADULT – Override of the Adolescent
Keeps peace by suppressing truth, often passive-aggressive.
😶 “Fine.” (But seething inside.)

4️⃣ SELF-DISTRACTION – Override of Overwhelm
Addiction, scrolling, or numbing to avoid feeling.
📱 “I can’t deal. I need to check out.”

And when even distraction fails, deep shutdown or suicidality can emerge — the ultimate override.

🌱 These are not flaws. They’re survival strategies.
Healing begins when we meet them with curiosity, not judgment.

Which one do you notice most in yourself?

27/03/2025

What is inner conflict?

Inner conflict arises when one part of you feels disturbed by something that didn’t go as planned. For example, "I am angry with myself for shouting at the kids." To notice this, pay attention to how your body, thoughts, and feelings react when life doesn't align with your expectations.

Start by narrowing down the disturbance to a specific moment, like, "I am angry at myself for shouting at the kids yesterday at 3:30pm." Diagnosing inner conflict means understanding the symptoms—such as the recurring thoughts or emotions—and exploring what’s behind them to bring clarity and healing.

13/03/2025

Breaking Free from Childhood Conditioning

Ever hesitate to express yourself out of fear? This stems from a learned survival mechanism. As kids, if expressing sadness or desire led to criticism, an Anger/Intimidation part silenced the Sadness/Expressive part, creating a Fear/Paralysed part to ensure compliance.

This once-protective pattern now blocks authentic expression. By recognizing its roots—perhaps childhood moments of rejection—we see it's no longer needed. With awareness and sensitivity, we can integrate these parts, shifting from fear-based paralysis to authentic self-expression.

06/03/2025

"Stop, or I am leaving."

In order to show parts trained in early dependent stage childhood that things are different now because the body is bigger and more resourceful, the adult must be able to prove that they can get themselves out of harms way. This is essential if the internal intervention is going to be effective. If protective parts are going to be willing to allow various forms of expression that previously seemed anti-survival they will need proof of two things. One is that the adult in the present moment with awareness of associated sensitivity will be able to deal with the potential sadness that may be the end result of external criticism. They also need to know that the adult in the present moment has the resourcefulness, in all but actual survival situations to get the body out of harms way by doing ‘Stop or I’m leaving’ as a way to get out of the way of external criticism.

Find a willing participant (trigger person) who you feel safe with and who supports you in your desire to be able to protect yourself from people who for whatever reason make you feel uncomfortable. Their role is simply to be willing to behave in the way that is triggering to a part of you that usually doesn’t protect itself by leaving. However, this role is not trying to catch you out. It is trying to give you the opportunity to practise these skills until you get it to the point that you feel comfortable to do it.

27/02/2025

In order to be able to bring permission and encouragement for the expression of all feelings this must include anger, fear and sadness. Luckily, paralysis's the expression of fear so there is nothing to express. However, both most of the usual forms of expression of anger and sadness are culturally frowned upon. This is the opposite of permission and encouragement. Thus, the associated sensitive cult in the present moment must show the trained in childhood parts how to express anger and sadness in a healthy way.

The aim of these exercises is to show the parts for whom it was a bad idea to express anger in an early childhood context, that in this present moment there are ways and means of expressing that are very healthy and that don’t involve anyone getting hurt. For most people ‘when someone gets angry, someone gets hurt’. By getting the Associated Sensitive part to encourage the Anger/Intimidation part to express its anger in a safe environment, it is able to experience a whole new paradigm where feelings are able to be expressed fully, intensely, physically and in a somewhat contained way (i.e., where no body and property gets hurt).

19/04/2023

Do you have wounds you are yet to work through, bottled up on the inside. This effects your everyday life whether you choose to admit it or not.

Are you on your own healing journey, but unsure how to reprogram the toxic training that you learned to survive??

Do you need more support with recognizing your own self limiting behaviors?

Jacob can help you get clarity contact today for a consultation, after hours appointments available.

https://counsellingnorthernbeaches.net.au

18/04/2023

Do you show yourself self compassion, or do you have limiting self talk.

contact jacob today for a consultation, after hours appointments available.

https://counsellingnorthernbeaches.net.au

17/04/2023

Are you feeling stress in your life and are unable to ask thous close to you to get your needs met. Break down the barriers of isolation.

contact Jacob today for a consultation, after hours appointments available.

https://counsellingnorthernbeaches.net.au

13/04/2023

Jacob can help you get clarity and on the same page, contact today for a consultation, after hours appointments available.

https://counsellingnorthernbeaches.net.au

Address

Suite 8, 646 Pittwater Road
Sydney, NSW
2100

Opening Hours

Monday	8am - 6pm
Tuesday	8am - 6pm
Wednesday	8am - 6pm
Thursday	8am - 8pm
Friday	8am - 8pm
Saturday	8am - 12pm

Website

https://counsellingnorthernbeaches.net.au/

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