01/04/2025
1️⃣ Connection Builds Trust and Openness:
Children act out or shut down when they feel unheard, misunderstood, or emotionally disconnected. If they sense that you’re only trying to control them rather than understand them, they may resist or withdraw.
2️⃣Behavior is Communication:
Instead of seeing their defiance as disrespect, try to view it as an expression of an unmet need. Are they feeling overwhelmed, unheard, or powerless? By staying calm and curious, you show them that their feelings matter.
3️⃣Emotional Regulation Starts with You:
Children learn how to regulate their emotions by watching how you handle yours. If you react with anger, they mirror that. If you stay calm and connected, they’re more likely to soften and listen.
4️⃣Connection Reduces Power Struggles:
When kids feel connected, they’re more willing to cooperate. Instead of forcing compliance, try engaging with empathy:
“I see you’re upset. Want to tell me what’s wrong?”
“It looks like you don’t like what I just said. Let’s talk about it.”
5️⃣ Listening First Encourages Listening Back:
If you model active listening—giving eye contact, nodding, and reflecting back what they say—your child will be more likely to do the same when it’s your turn to talk.
➡️Top tips to Strengthen Connection in Tough Moments:
1. Pause before reacting – Take a breath to center yourself.
2. Get on their level – Speak gently and make eye contact.
3. Acknowledge their feelings – “I see that you’re frustrated.”
4. Offer choices – “Would you rather do homework now or after a snack?”
5. Use humor or play – Playfulness can diffuse tension and reconnect you.
💫Connection doesn’t mean letting go of boundaries; it means enforcing them with empathy. When your child feels connected to you, they’ll be more open to hearing you.
For more info or supports, you can reach out to us via our website: www.shirechildpsychology.com.au
