Perfectly Imperfect

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Perfectly Imperfect is an Australia-wide NDIS registered neurodiversity affirming and gender affirming service providing counselling, advocacy, neurodiversity affirming behaviour support, inclusive education support and disabilitity advocacy

20/11/2025

When Joy Goes Quiet: The Reality of Anhedonia

We talk about burnout and overwhelm all the time but barely anyone talks about anhedonia.
For many neurodivergent people, it’s one of the earliest signs that the nervous system is in survival mode.

Anhedonia = the loss of pleasure, motivation, or spark.
Not laziness.
Not lack of trying.
Not “being unmotivated.”
A brain and body response to chronic stress, masking, trauma, and sensory overload.

It often looks like:
• Hobbies feeling flat
• No excitement, even for things you care about
• Reduced creativity
• Food and music feeling “nothingy”
• Wanting to do things but being unable to feel the joy of them
• Functioning on the outside, disconnected on the inside

And here’s the hard truth:
You can still be productive, high-achieving, and emotionally supportive - and be experiencing severe anhedonia.

For autistic folks, ADHDers, PDAers, AuDHDers and anyone with a sensitive nervous system, anhedonia is often the result of years of pushing through environments that don’t meet their needs.

So before we talk “motivation,” “behaviour,” or “participation,” we need to ask:
Is this person actually in burnout or experiencing anhedonia?
Are we demanding joy from a nervous system that’s exhausted?

What helps:
More autonomy.
Lower demands.
Better sensory regulation.
Actual rest - not performative rest.
Safety, connection, and zero shame.

Your joy isn’t gone.
It’s resting.
And it returns when the nervous system finally feels safe again.

18/11/2025

Stop Blaming Parents for School Trauma

Every week, I hear it:

“School says my child is fine… so why are they melting down at home?”

Because they weren’t fine.
They were masking to survive.

And parents are copping the fallout for things that happened inside the school day - sensory overload, unclear expectations, punitive behaviour systems, zero co-regulation, and environments that aren’t built for neurodivergent brains.

Kids don’t “hold it together” because they’re fine.
They hold it together because they don’t feel safe enough to fall apart.

The after-school explosion isn’t bad behaviour.
It’s a nervous system finally exhaling.

Here’s the truth schools keep glossing over:
• Meltdowns = overwhelm, not manipulation
• Shutdowns = survival, not disrespect
• Avoidance = self-protection, not defiance

Parents aren’t the problem.
The system is.

The next era of education must be neurodiversity-affirming, trauma-informed, and built on connection not compliance and behaviour charts.

If your child unravels at home?

It’s not a parenting failure.
It’s evidence that school pushed them beyond their limits.

You’re not overreacting.
You’re not imagining it.
You’re advocating and that’s exactly what your child needs.

- Jess xx
Founder & Clinical Director, Perfectly Imperfect

I might ruffle somfeathers with this one:It Looks Like “Addiction”… But It’s Actually a Brain Trying to Feel OKWe’re so ...
17/11/2025

I might ruffle somfeathers with this one:
It Looks Like “Addiction”… But It’s Actually a Brain Trying to Feel OK

We’re so quick to label things as addiction:
“Addicted to gaming.”
“Addicted to sugar.”
“Addicted to the iPad.”
“Addicted to scrolling.”

But for so many neurodivergent kids and adults, this behaviour isn’t addiction at all - it’s regulation.

Because when your nervous system is overwhelmed, under-stimulated, or running on inconsistent dopamine, you reach for whatever helps things feel steady again.
Not for a high - for relief.

This is what regulation-seeking actually looks like:
• A child gaming because the predictability calms their brain.
• A teen scrolling because it’s the only “off switch” after masking all day.
• Someone craving sweets because it gives quick sensory grounding.
• A young person wearing headphones constantly because the world is too loud.

None of this is addiction.
It’s adaptation.

Why the label matters

When we call these behaviours “addiction,” we:
• shame people for coping,
• misinterpret their needs,
• ignore sensory and nervous-system drivers,
• and miss the chance to support them properly.

Neurodivergent regulation doesn’t always look tidy but it is functional.

The real question is never “How do we stop this?”

It’s always:

“What need is this meeting, and how can we support that need without shame?”

Because when we understand the need, the behaviour finally makes sense.

16/11/2025

School Trauma, Family Court Orders, and the Child Stuck in the Middle

Here’s something the system rarely joins the dots on:

A neurodivergent child with existing school trauma is ordered into:
• Complex time arrangements
• High transition frequency
• Ongoing exposure to the same school system that traumatised them

And then we’re surprised when:
• “School can’t” escalates
• Morning transitions are explosive
• One parent is blamed for “not enforcing attendance”
• The child is labelled “non-compliant” or “school avoidant”

For ND kids, school trauma is not just “not liking school”. It’s:
• Chronic nervous system threat
• Sensory overload
• Relational ruptures with teachers and peers
• Experiences of restraint, exclusion, detentions, or subtle shaming

When family court ignores school trauma and insists on rigid orders tied to school routines, it can corner everyone:
• The child is forced into environments that feel unsafe
• The protective parent is pressured to comply or risk accusations
• The “less involved” parent doesn’t see the full fallout and questions the child’s distress

We need orders that:
• Factor in school trauma when determining time and transitions
• Allow for educational alternatives where needed (flexi-school, distance ed, home ed)
• Treat refusal as a trauma flag, not a compliance issue

A child refusing school during a family law dispute is not automatically manipulated. Sometimes their body is screaming the truth the paperwork won’t name, or the “experts” refuse to acknowledge!

15/11/2025

Yesterday I dropped my kid off at high school transition… and then sat in my car and cried for twenty minutes.

Not because he did anything wrong.
Not because the school did anything wrong.
Not because I’m fragile or overthinking or “one of those mums.”

I cried because school trauma changes you - not just the child, but the parent.

I watched him walk through those gates, and every cell in my body lit up with old memories:

Meetings where no one listened.
Phone calls that made my stomach drop.
Teachers who didn’t understand him and didn’t try to.
Systems that punished distress.
Nights sitting up with a child who couldn’t face another day.

I’ve spent years advocating, fighting, rebuilding, healing.

So standing there, doing The High School Drop-Off, wasn’t just a milestone.
It was a trigger.
A reminder.
A test of trust I’ve never actually had the luxury of having.

I smiled at him.
Told him he’s got this.
Told him he belongs.
Told him he’s safe.

And then I walked back to the car, closed the door… and the tears just came.

Because this is what school trauma does to parents:

We carry the vigilance.
We carry the fear.
We carry the what-ifs.
We carry the grief of all the ways the system failed our children - even when the new environment might be different.

People say, “You need to trust the school.”

But trust isn’t a switch.
Trust is earned through safety, consistency, and humanity - things too many neurodivergent kids never received.

So yes, I cried.
And then I breathed.
And then I reminded myself:

This is a new school.
A new team.
A new chapter.
And this time, I’m walking in with boundaries, knowledge, confidence, and a voice that will not be ignored.

My kid is not the same child he was.
And I am absolutely not the same mother.

School trauma shaped us but it also turned me into the advocate he needs.

And as I wiped my face and drove off, one truth landed hard and clear:

Maybe trust will grow.
Maybe it won’t.
But either way - he will not walk this journey alone.

- Jess - mama with school trauma
Director @ Perfectly Imperfect
Lived experience-led. Trauma-aware. Fiercely protective. Unapologetically honest.

13/11/2025

Alexithymia + Emotional Dysregulation: The Combo No One Talks About (But Everyone Should)

We need to talk about something that affects a huge number of neurodivergent people - autistic folks, ADHDers, PDAers - yet gets misunderstood constantly:

Alexithymia.
Not “lack of emotion.”
Not “cold.”
Not “dramatic.”
Just unable to translate what the body is feeling into words.

And when you can’t name an emotion?
Your body reacts for you.

That’s where dysregulation comes in.

This isn’t misbehaviour. It’s nervous system overload.

For neurodivergent people, emotions often show up as:
• a tight chest
• buzzing limbs
• shutdown
• overwhelm

Not words.

So by the time the emotion has a label?
It’s already way past the point of “use your coping strategies.”

And yet systems still respond with:
“Calm down.”
“Use your words.”
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Control yourself.”

It’s unrealistic.
It’s unfair.
It’s harmful.

You cannot regulate what you cannot identify.

Dysregulation is not a discipline issue.
It’s information.

It’s the nervous system saying:
“I’m overwhelmed.”
“I don’t feel safe.”
“I don’t have the language for this.”

So instead of punishment or pressure, neurodivergent people need:
• interoception support
• sensory regulation
• co-regulation
• safety
• fewer triggers, not more demands

This isn’t weakness.
This is wiring.

Alexithymia isn’t a deficit, it’s a different operating system.

Neurodivergent people feel deeply.
Often more intensely than neurotypical people.

They just process emotions differently:
body first, language later.

When we stop pathologising that and start supporting it, everything changes - for kids, adults, families, workplaces, and schools.

Spicy truth?
We don’t need neurodivergent people to “feel differently.”
We need everyone else to understand how they feel.

12/11/2025

The long-term impact of school trauma is so much bigger than people think - and parents feel it just as deeply as the kids who live through it.

We talk a lot about “challenging behaviour,” “non-compliance,” “attendance issues,” and “school refusal”… but not nearly enough about the trauma that caused it.

School trauma isn’t just having a bad year or not liking a teacher.
It’s chronic nervous system activation.
It’s repeated micro-invalidations.
It’s unsafe environments disguised as “high expectations.”
It’s the erosion of self-worth in tiny moments, every single day.

And the scars don’t magically disappear when the bell rings.

For our kids, school trauma can look like:
• Hypervigilance that never turns off
• Meltdowns after school, every. single. day.
• Losing their love of learning
• Avoidance, anxiety, shutdown, or total collapse
• Feeling “wrong,” “too much,” or fundamentally flawed
• Burnout before they’re even teenagers
• And yes - years of “school can’t” that is actually their body saying, I’m not safe there.

But what people rarely talk about is the trauma carried by parents.

The parents who were told, “It’s just behaviour.”
The parents who begged for adjustments that never came.
The parents who were blamed, minimised, reported, gaslit, ignored.
The parents who sat in meeting after meeting being told their child was the problem.
The parents who had to choose between forcing their child into harm or becoming the “difficult parent.”

School trauma is a family trauma.

It reshapes parenting.
It impacts employment.
It fractures trust in systems.
It steals years of childhood.
It creates generational patterns of fear around learning, authority, and belonging.

And the long-term effects?
They show up everywhere:
• Adults who flinch when they hear “We need to meet about your child”
• Parents who have PTSD-like responses to emails or phonecalls from school
• Teenagers who believe they’re “lazy” instead of recognising burnout
• Adults who still carry shame from “behaviour charts” and detentions
• Families who are exhausted, grieving, and fighting systems that should support them

School trauma is real.
It is widespread.
And it is preventable.

When we create environments built around nervous system safety, connection, flexibility, and true inclusion, kids thrive.
Parents breathe again.
Families heal.
And education becomes what it should’ve always been - a place of belonging.

If your family has lived through school trauma, you’re not imagining it.
You’re not overreacting.
You’re not difficult.

You’re a parent who saw the harm and refused to accept it as “normal.”

And that makes you brave as hell.

— Jess and a mama who has school trauma
Founder & Clinical Director, Perfectly Imperfect
Neurodivergent | Lived Experience Led | Disability Advocate

12/11/2025

Zero Non-Conformities. All Heart. Big Expansion.

We’ve officially passed our NDIS mid-term audit with zero non-conformities - and we’re just getting started.

At Perfectly Imperfect, compliance isn’t the goal: integrity is. Every policy, every plan, every piece of paperwork reflects what we stand for:
human-first, neurodiversity-affirming, trauma-informed, and rights-based practice - done properly.

And now… we’re expanding.
Because our community deserves more than “good enough.”

We remain proudly registered for:
• Therapeutic Supports
• Behaviour Support

And are now registering for:
• Core Supports - practical, person-centred, and delivered with dignity.
• SIL – Supported Independent Living - because independence should never come at the cost of safety or identity.
• Capacity Building for Employment & Entrepreneurship - empowering neurodivergent brilliance to thrive in every space.
• Group & Centre-Based Programs - where belonging isn’t just encouraged, it’s built in.

We’re proud, we’re compliant, and we’re unapologetically changing what quality looks like in this industry.

No tick-box therapy. No compliance theatre. Just excellence - the Perfectly Imperfect way.

Meet Jess – Founder & Clinical DirectorIf Perfectly Imperfect had a heartbeat, it’d be Jess.She’s the visionary, the dis...
11/11/2025

Meet Jess – Founder & Clinical Director

If Perfectly Imperfect had a heartbeat, it’d be Jess.

She’s the visionary, the disruptor, and the lived-experience powerhouse behind everything we do. A neurodivergent therapist, fierce disability advocate, and proud mum to neurodivergent kids, Jess has built Perfectly Imperfect on one simple truth: you can’t create change from within a system that’s broken - you build a better one.

After taking on the Human Rights Commission for disability discrimination - Jess made it her mission to empower others to do the same - equipping families, professionals, and neurodivergent individuals with the tools, language, and confidence to advocate for themselves and their loved ones.

Her approach blends clinical expertise with raw humanity. She works with autistic folks, ADHDers, q***r and gender-diverse people, and anyone feeling burnt out, anxious, or disconnected from themselves. Her work is about unmasking, unlearning, and rebuilding - without shame, without judgement, and without the “fixing” narrative.

Jess doesn’t believe in hierarchy - she believes in humanity.

She meets people exactly where they are and walks beside them as they rediscover who they were before the world told them to be someone else.

She’s bold, compassionate, and unafraid to call out the BS that gets in the way of true inclusion.
Because at the end of the day, Jess isn’t just leading a practice - she’s leading a movement.

09/11/2025

He did it - in his way, on his terms.

There are milestones in life that the world tells us have to look a certain way. But sometimes, the most powerful version of a milestone is when a young person says, “I can do this but I need it to look different.”

That’s what my son did.
He didn’t mask. He didn’t push himself into overwhelm.
He asked for what he needed. He found a way that felt safe for his body, his brain, his energy.

And we listened. The adults around him - teachers, mentors, family - adjusted.
That’s what real inclusion looks like.
Not lowering expectations, but shifting the environment so a child can meet them with dignity intact.

Watching him stand in his own self-advocacy - not just completing something huge, but claiming it in a way that honoured who he is - was everything.

I’m proud beyond words.
Not just because he achieved it.
But because he taught everyone around him what self-efficacy really means: knowing your needs, speaking them out loud, and trusting that you still belong.

-advocacy

06/11/2025

Sometimes I just want to hide.
Not because I don’t love my child - god, I love them more than anything - but because I’m so tired.
Tired of being the calm one, the co-regulator, the listener, the safe base.

Sometimes they’re talking and talking, needing me to listen, to hold space, to regulate with them… and inside I’m screaming for quiet. For one moment where no one needs me.

It’s such a hard balance - wanting to be honest about how much you’re struggling, but also knowing that they need you to be okay, to feel safe.
So you stay. You listen. You contain.
Even when you want to run.

And then the guilt hits - because you’re supposed to be grateful, patient, endlessly available.
But you’re human too.
And sometimes being human means saying, “I love you, and I need five minutes.”

If you’re there right now - torn between needing space and needing to show up - you’re not alone.
We’re all walking that tightrope together, trying to love our kids in the middle of our own exhaustion.

Some days, the win isn’t being endlessly patient.
It’s coming back. Even after you needed a break.
That’s real love. That’s the messy, beautiful, perfectly imperfect kind.

- Jess xx

05/11/2025

Why caregiver burnout matters in an assessment.

When I assess a child or adolescent, I’m never just assessing them in isolation. I’m looking at the environment around them, because a child’s well-being is deeply connected to the well-being of the adults who support them.

Caregiver burnout doesn’t just affect mood or patience. It changes how the brain processes stress, how consistently routines are maintained, and how much emotional bandwidth is available for connection.

In other words, burnout can quietly shape a child’s developmental environment, and understanding that helps me interpret assessment results more accurately.

If a parent is running on empty, we might see more behavioural escalation, reduced follow-through with strategies, or increased family tension.

By considering caregiver burnout, I can:
• Interpret the child’s presentation in context.
• Recommend supports that reduce pressure on the family, not add to it.
• Advocate for systems that nurture both the child and their caregivers.

Because when you’re caring for a child with high support needs, your self-care becomes a necessary part of their intervention plan.
It’s not separate from their progress; it’s part of what helps it happen. 💙

Assessments should never just end with a diagnosis. They should build a roadmap for sustainable support that strengthens the whole family system.

Address

Level 1, Botany Road, Mascot, 2020
Sydney, NSW
1141

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 8pm
Wednesday 8:30am - 5:30pm
Thursday 9am - 8pm

Telephone

0407 022 216

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Since 2006, we have worked with children, teenagers and adults to provide empathetic counselling and accurate assessments to assist with a range of common life problems and events.

Whether you need assistance with depression, anxiety, trauma, court events or disability needs, we strive to be flexible to meet you and your family’s needs.

Sydney Allied Health Family Practice is based in Maroubra in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney. We also provide home visits!