Time to Gather

12/11/2025

𝗦𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱𝗯𝘆𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝗺𝗲 – 𝗶𝗻 𝗣𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁

Many people, when asked, say they would prefer to spend their final moments at home. Sadly, this isn’t always possible.

But it is absolutely okay for families or friends to bring their loved one home after death. To care for them, to be together, and to spend precious time in whatever way feels right. This might mean washing, dressing, or shrouding them, holding a ceremony or ritual, sharing stories, making music, or decorating the coffin together. Holding space, saying farewells and start healing, as it has been done within communities for centuries.

Australian law allows for a home-based vigil, even if your loved one has passed away in a hospital, nursing home, or hospice. In New South Wales, a body may be kept at home for up to 5 days, please check your state’s specific regulations. There are several ways to keep the body cool and stable at around 5°C, including cooling beds, cool plates, dry ice, or Cuddle Cots® for children.

An End-of-Life Doula can gently support you through this time, helping to set up the room and the bed, and taking care of the practical details so you can focus on what matters most: sharing love, memories, and peaceful goodbyes.

Ph: Edward Howell / Unsplash

15/10/2025

Thinking of friends and people around the world today, who walked that path. 🌻 💫

Today we pause to remember and honour precious babies whose time with us was heartbreakingly brief. International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day reminds us that every life matters, no matter how short.

To families who carry this profound grief: you are not alone. Your babies are remembered, your grief is valid, and your love endures.

🕯️ Light a candle at 7 pm tonight to join the global Wave of Light, showing care and solidarity for all who have walked this difficult path. Together, we break the silence with compassion.

16/09/2025

𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇

Loss, goodbyes, death, and grief are just as much a part of life for children as they are for adults.
But unlike adults, children often don’t yet have the tools or life experience to understand what has happened. Their knowledge of the world is still developing, and they may express their grief through behavior rather than words. Often, their sorrow is overlooked or misunderstood. That’s why children need adults who can offer honest information, gentle guidance, and loving support.

Here are some common questions that come up for adults:

𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭?
Grief in children and teenagers doesn’t follow a straight line. It comes in waves. One minute they might be crying or angry, and the next they're playing and laughing.
This ‘jumping in and out’ of grief is actually a natural coping mechanism, it protects them from becoming emotionally overwhelmed. Processing loss takes time and usually happens in small, scattered steps.

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥?
Yes, if the child expresses interest and is clearly told they can leave at any time.
Never force a child to say goodbye at an open coffin, but also never pretend that death hasn’t happened and keep the child in the dark. Be honest and supportive.
And be a role model. If you are sad, show it. Children learn how to deal with the situation by watching people they trust.

𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 – 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐭.
That’s okay. Just be honest. Use simple, clear language.
Talk about your own feelings. Ask how your child is feeling. Try to explore the situation together and create space for making meaning of it.
Let your child’s questions guide the conversation. You might be surprised by what comes up, and it’s totally okay if you find yourselves laughing at times. That doesn’t mean the grief isn’t real.
Give them as much information as they need, but not more than they can handle. You know your child best. Focus on what is essential, especially when you talk about the finality of death. Too many details can be overwhelming.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠?
Never ever say “Grandma went to sleep.” This can be very confusing, especially for young children, and may make them afraid to go to sleep themselves at night.
Avoid phrases like “...went home,” “...was taken by God/Allah/ etc” or “...left us.” Children often take things literally, and these expressions can lead to misunderstandings or fear.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩?
Here are a few meaningful ways to support your child through grief:
- Let them help decorate the coffin or the shroud before the funeral
- Collect flowers together and press them for a collage or memory book
- Draw pictures or write letters to the person who died
- Read age-appropriate picture books about death and dying
- Paint stones with messages or symbols
- Make a small keepsake like a candle or glitter hand cream to use during a goodbye ritual
- Let them choose a small item to place in the coffin

There are many creative, heartfelt ways to help children express their grief and begin to make sense of what has happened.



Ph: Greg Rosenke/Unsplash

03/09/2025

After being diagnosed with a rare cancer and realising that her time is coming to an end, Hilary decided to go with Voluntary Assisted Dying (VAD). In this honest and brave interview she explains why it is her choice, why she is glad that she has this legal option now and why it is a very personal decision.
Thank you, Hilary, for your powerful words.

20/08/2025

Have you had the conversation?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrVwiExpAJE&t=47s

Diana and Rui know everything about each other, except the most important thing…You can finish each other’s sentences but how well do you really know your pa...

10/08/2025

Shrouded Cremation has been available in Victoria and Tasmania since 2018 and is finally now an option in NSW as well. The first cremation was held just recently at Woronora Memorial Park and Crematorium.
Thank you to the lovely team at Life Rites Funerals for the interesting, heartfelt, emotional and also fun conversations at your Open Day and for a glimpse behind the curtains of a holistic, doula-run funeral house.

https://ndan.com.au/resources/shrouded-cremation

07/08/2025

𝗧𝗼𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘄, 𝗔𝘂𝗴𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝟴, 𝗶𝘀 𝗔𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗮'𝘀 𝗗𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗗𝗮𝘆.

Are you comfortable talking about death and dying?

Or is it making you uneasy thinking about coffins, cemeteries, crematoriums?

Does the idea of speaking to someone close about death, Advance Care Plans, wills or funerals make you want to turn and run?

You are not alone. Most people shy away from thinking or talking about death. Even though it’s one of the only certainties in life, as sure as the sun rising each morning, many prefer to keep it at a distance.

We plan so many milestones throughout our lives: formals, 21st birthdays, engagements, weddings, baby showers and countless anniversaries, often down to the tiniest detail. But when it comes to dying, funerals and wakes (definitely some of life’s most significant events) we tend to outsource it quickly and quietly.

But what if I told you that facing death, rather than avoiding it, can actually make life easier, richer, and more meaningful?

Even if you're young, healthy, and (statistically) have decades ahead of you, acknowledging that our time is finite can inspire clarity. It gives you the chance to plan: writing an Advance Care Directive, making a will, outlining funeral wishes (which can always be updated later). These steps aren't about being morbid, they are acts of care, for yourself and those you love.

Pushing through those uncomfortable feelings can also open the door to honest conversations with family and friends. You might be surprised to learn they have had the same thoughts, but didn’t know how to begin. And while these talks can be emotional, they don’t have to be scary. In fact, they can be deeply life-affirming.

I believe that the more comfortable we become with talking about and planning for death, the more present and connected we become in life.

If you're not sure how to start, reach out to an End-of-Life Doula.

Talking about death won’t kill you — it just might help you live better.

Be well
Astrid

04/08/2025

'𝐷𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑎' - '𝑃𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑓 𝑆𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑐𝑒' (𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝐺𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑘)

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗲𝘅𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗘𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗗𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗮?

We know that 80% of Australians, and likely similar numbers around the world, wish to die at home. But only about 15% do. It’s not always because someone is too unwell to stay at home, it’s also often because there are not enough options for non-medical in-home support.

People facing a life-limiting illness, whether in a hospital, hospice, or at home, only spend about 5–10% of their day with doctors or nurses.

So who is there for them for the rest of the day?

End of Life Doulas (of all genders) walk alongside people with a life-limiting illness, offering them and their families companionship, advocacy, and unwavering support. They are a calm, steady presence, a compassionate witness and professional guide for those who navigate the deeply personal journey toward the end of life.

End of Life Doulas are not medical professionals, instead they provide practical, emotional, social, cultural, and often spiritual support. They help holding space and they can stay with the person and their family when medical health providers, due to the nature of their work, can't be there.
End of Life Doulas work hand in hand with doctors, nurses and palliative care teams. They fill the gaps, gently holding what might otherwise be lost in the busy days of clinical care.

At the heart of a doula’s work is advocacy and helping to ensure that a person's wishes and values are understood, respected, communicated clearly and fulfilled.

End of Life Doulas ask questions that matter: Do you understand your options? Do you feel informed enough to make choices that reflect who you are and what’s most important to you?

𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗘𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗗𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗮 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵:

• Providing support to everyone involved to understand the information, options, and choices available to them

• Navigating the health system, planning, and coordination of services and support networks

• Assisting with organising legal documentation, advance care directives, emotional wills, funeral planning, and legacy documents

• Helping people plan for an end of life that is meaningful to them and consistent with their belief system and ethnic, cultural, spiritual and personal values and preferences

• Advocacy and provision of support through all stages of the end of life and into bereavement

• Facilitating access to information and understanding of resources

(𝑆𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑐𝑒: 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑤𝑎𝑦.𝑐𝑜𝑚.𝑎𝑢)

This work isn't about creating a picture-perfect death. It’s not about awards or appearances.
It’s about something much deeper: offering people real choices, clear information, and the chance to meet death with dignity and peace.
It’s about replacing fear with connection, and walking this path together. As a family and as a community.

Please get in touch if you have any questions.

Be well,
Astrid



Photo: Nastia Petruk on Unsplash

30/07/2025

𝗨𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳
Anticipatory grief is the deep sadness we sometimes feel before a loss has actually happened. It's not just about grieving a person who is still with us, but grieving the future moments we may never get to share with them.

Often, it's not only about the person — it’s about grieving the changes in life, in your routines, or in the nature of your relationship with them.

Not everyone experiences anticipatory grief, but when you’re facing the possibility of a significant loss — such as the decline or death of someone you love — it’s completely natural for powerful emotions to surface. You might find yourself imagining what life will look like after they're gone, and wondering how you’ll cope. These thoughts don't mean you've given up on your loved one or that you care for them any less. They're simply part of how the unconscious tries to prepare for what’s coming.

People often describe anticipatory grief as a 'rollercoaster'. One moment, you might feel calm — and the next, overwhelmed with sadness or anxiety. It’s a constant see-saw between emotional distress and trying to hold on to normal moments.

Some of the emotions you might feel include:

• Fear
• Anxiety
• Loneliness
• Guilt
• Anger
• Irritability

You might experience anticipatory grief when:

• You’ve been diagnosed with a life-limiting illness
• Someone close to you has been diagnosed with a terminal illness or dementia
• You or a loved one is facing a life-altering, though not life-limiting, diagnosis
• Someone you love is aging and experiencing a decline in physical health or independence

𝗔𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀
Living with anticipatory grief can feel even more complicated when you're far away from your family or loved ones. Distance can make it harder to have open conversations, to be involved in care, or simply to be present. It can feel isolating — like you’re watching something unfold from afar, without being able to reach out in the ways you wish you could.

It’s not uncommon to feel disbelief, disconnection, or like you're navigating it all without enough support or information.

𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁
Although spaces like Death Cafes are not professional counselling or professional support groups, they offer an opportunity to talk openly with others who may be experiencing similar feelings. These conversations can help you feel less alone and provide a safe place to express thoughts that might otherwise go unspoken or unrecognised.

Anticipatory grief can be heavy — but you're not alone in feeling it. Being honest with yourself and others about what you're going through can be an important part of finding connection and care in the midst of uncertainty.

Be well,
Astrid






Photo: Melanie Kanzler on Unsplash

28/07/2025

This Sunday, 3 August, 2pm-4pm, Bondi Junction.

25/07/2025

8 August 2025 is 'Dying to Know Day' in Australia.
Over the coming days I will post some info about upcoming events in Sydney.

I start with two events around planning ahead.

✒️ 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘆, 𝟴 𝗔𝘂𝗴𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱, 𝟭𝟬.𝟯𝟬𝗮𝗺 - 𝟮.𝟬𝟬𝗽𝗺
𝗞𝗼𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗿𝗮 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗖𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗲, 𝗠𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗮𝗿
"Yarning your Wishes' - info sessions around Legal Will, Enduring Guardianship, Power of Attorney
Free
See flyer below and
https://events.humanitix.com/yarning-your-wishes

✒️ 𝗦𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝟭𝟲 𝗔𝘂𝗴𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱, 𝟭𝟬𝗮𝗺 - 𝟭𝟮𝗽𝗺
𝗝𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗲
Advance Care Planning Information & Workshop
$10
https://stgeorge.oncourse.cc/course/advance_care_planning_information_and_workshop