18/02/2026
Ever feel like you're just along for the ride in your own life? Like everything that happens is down to luck, other people's decisions, or just ‘the way things are'?
You're not alone in this. And yes sometimes in this life, you are not in a position of control. That is true.
When that happens for long enough (not being in control of big things in you life) our brain can install a big belief-system-coping-strategy called an ‘External Locus of Control’
It’s where we genuinely believe we have very little say in our life and actions, and so it’s safer to resign to fate.
There's something almost protective about handing over the steering wheel to circumstance and deciding we don’t stand a chance.
The problem with this is, while it might feel safe in the moment, it also leaves you feeling powerless, anxious, or completely stuck… like you're watching your own life through a window instead of actually living it.
Another problem with it is, it’s not true. Yes sometimes in this life, you are not in a position of control. But sometimes you are.
A global decision that you never are, or never will be, is your brain lying to you to protect you (in an unhelpful way). Shifting even a little towards noticing where you have power can be a game-changer.
Maybe it's choosing what actions you do first thing in the morning to prime your day. Using ‘I get to…’ instead of ‘I have to…’ when you tell stories. Or simply starting to track your wins and habits you’re building to become more aware of your self agency.
What action could you could make today that feels like YOU driving?