25/09/2021
Strategies for Dealing with Excessive Anger
Anger is often described as a “hot” emotion, and it leads us to act quickly and impulsively. Effective ways of managing anger involve slowing things down and choosing our actions more deliberately, so we feel better about our choices in the long run.
In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple, I break down the techniques using the Think Act Be framework for cognitive, behavioral, and mindfulness approaches, respectively.
THINK
Examine Your Thoughts
When you feel angry, pay attention to what you’re telling yourself. Are there any errors in your thinking? (See this list for common examples of thinking errors.) Are there alternative ways of looking at the situation that might be more accurate, and less irritating? For more on identifying negative thoughts, check out this post: What Are You Thinking?
Know Your Triggers
Many of the strategies for dealing with anger require knowing in advance what’s likely to make us mad. For most of us there are situations or individuals who consistently try our patience—things like driving in heavy traffic, being short on time, or discussing certain topics with a partner. When we recognize a challenging situation, we’re better prepared to deal with it constructively.
Question Your “Shoulds”
Thoughts that include “should” frequently lead to anger, like “They should be nicer to me,” or, “They should know better.” But although we might really want a certain outcome, nothing says it should be that way (refer to the list of thinking errors). By questioning our shoulds, we can decrease unnecessary anger. (Think Act Be - Seth Gillihan PHD)
More to come...
