09/10/2024
When I was younger I struggled with feeling positive about myself let alone feeling that I deserved anything!
My upbringing established patterns of behaviour like staying quiet, being a 'good' girl and waiting for your turn. We always got our turn. We always had exactly the same or some type of equivalency.
This led me to expect what everyone else had, no more and no less. It was what I expected, not what I deserved. I never felt like I deserved any more than anyone else.
The feeling that I'd earned something special or achieved something extraordinary was never encouraged. I was never allowed to 'get a big head'.
I've never felt like I was anything special or extraordinary. Even though I was quite musical and soaked up any bit of music I could. I learned to play guitar, thanks to our groovy Grade 5 teacher, Mr Gillette. I even wrote my own songs and performed them at the end of the year concert when I was in Grade 6.
That achievement was met with just nothing. No feedback at all. No-one said they were proud of me for even singing my own songs on my own right out there in front of everyone. I was taken aback. It took a long time before I performed in any way, shape or form again and certainly not on my own.
So, to feel like I deserve something is to step way out of my comfort zone.
When you self sabotage, it is like saying to yourself that you don't deserve this. Like saying 'I'm not worth it.'
Gosh, it's hard to write that. When everything inside me is screaming, 'Yes, I am!'
However, that is exactly what I would have been thinking once upon a time.
If you've ever felt like you're not worth it, you don't deserve it, you're not worth the time it takes to build good healthy habits, then know that you are not alone.
I get it. I've been there. And this is why I have a mission to help women achieve their health and fitness goals.
Because you ARE worth it.
The most important person in the world is YOU!