Hopeplus Counselling

14/02/2026

One of the reasons for my faith - a marriage of unity in a covenant promise to love, respect, honour, encourage and trust, even when it gets bloody hard.

Valentine’s Day thoughts on Kingdom marriage!!!

Here’s what covenant has taught me…

True love requires sacrifice. Marriage is not built on emotion but on surrender. Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. Ephesians 5:25

Your devotion to God fuels your devotion at home. When prayer weakens, patience weakens. When the altar is strong, the marriage is strong.

The love of a godly woman can awaken the king in a man. Honor builds. Encouragement strengthens. Respect multiplies vision.

Seasons change but covenant remains. Youth, pressure, ministry, family, growth. Different seasons, same promise.

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. Ecclesiastes 4:9
An agreement partner accelerates destiny.

Laughter matters. Joy is oxygen!!!! Live & laugh fully.

Grace carries you through hard seasons. Covenant does not collapse under pressure. It proves its strength.

If you are married, maximize the gift. Pray for your spouse. Serve your spouse. Protect your covenant. Build legacy, not just love.

If you are single, do not settle. Loneliness is temporary. Covenant is permanent. The right one is worth the wait.

What God joins together, let no man separate. Mark 10:9

🙏

12/02/2026

Working on one of these right now. Keep growing!

Self-sabotage is so annoying because it rarely feels like sabotage in the moment. It feels like being “realistic.” It feels like being responsible. It feels like waiting until you’re ready. Meanwhile your brain is like, Perfect. We will now do absolutely nothing and call it safety.

From a neuroscience perspective, a lot of self-sabotage is your nervous system trying to protect you from uncertainty, visibility, rejection, or shame. Your brain is wired to prioritize survival over success, and growth is unpredictable by definition. So if your past taught you that being seen led to criticism, being confident led to backlash, or having needs led to disappointment, your system will start pulling the emergency brake right when things begin to go well. Not because you’re lazy. Not because you’re weak. Because your brain is doing what it learned to do: avoid pain.

And in real life, it shows up in the sneakiest ways. You overthink instead of act. You stay quiet instead of risk conflict. You say yes until you resent everyone. You cling to habits that numb you because they’re familiar. You stay in relationships you’ve outgrown because starting over feels terrifying. The goal isn’t to shame yourself into change. The goal is to notice the pattern with compassion, regulate your nervous system, and choose one small brave action anyway.

And if you want to go deeper, my podcast episode is out today on why we fear success (and how that fear turns into self-sabotage). Comment "Podcast" and I'll DM you the link. 🎙️

If this hit home, share it with someone who needs it. 💓

02/10/2025

The choices are yours to make.

02/03/2025

Too much noise! Silence is golden.

30/12/2024

May your 2025 be filled with these people.
Happy New Year!

24/12/2024

May you and yours be surprised by joy this Christmas!

09/12/2024

02/12/2024

Quiet your mind and retool your relationship with yourself.

17/11/2024

You have to prioritize yourself first in relationships, work, and life. If you’re constantly giving without replenishing your own energy, you will burn out! Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s essential. Make time to rest, recharge, and refocus on your own well-being.

What’s one thing you can do today to fill your cup?

16/11/2024

Quite often it’s “our beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world that keep us stuck, not the events themselves”. Albert Ellis, Ph.D.

Secrecy can lead to shame and make it harder to heal.

10/11/2024

04/11/2024

My research and my life have taught me that regret is one of our most powerful emotional reminders that reflection, change, and growth are necessary. In our research, regret emerged as a function of empathy. And, when used constructively, it’s a call to courage and a path toward wisdom.

One of the most powerful lines about regret comes from George Saunders’s 2013 commencement address at Syracuse University.

Saunders talked about how when he was a child, a young girl was teased at his school and, although he didn’t tease her and even defended her a little, he still thought about it. He said:

“So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it: What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded . . . sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.”

The idea that regret is a fair but tough teacher can really p**s people off. “No regrets” has become synonymous with daring and adventure, but I disagree. The idea of “no regrets” doesn’t mean living with courage, it means living without reflection. To live without regret is to believe we have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with our lives.

In our work, we find that what we regret most are our failures of courage, whether it’s the courage to be kinder, to show up, to say how we feel, to set boundaries, to be good to ourselves, to say yes to something scary. Regret has taught me that living outside my values is not tenable for me.

Regrets about not taking chances have made me braver. Regrets about shaming or blaming people I care about have made me more thoughtful.

Sometimes the most uncomfortable learning is the most powerful.

Daniel Pink

https://apple.co/3NKlMWX