Central Coast Counselling - Susan Owens

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10/03/2026

Children will inevitably get hurt.

They will fall.
They will feel disappointment.
They will experience fear, frustration, rejection, and loss.

None of us can remove those moments from their lives.

But what shapes a child most deeply is not simply the pain itself —
it’s whether they face it alone.

When a child feels held in the middle of their distress, something important happens.
The experience is shared.
The nervous system settles.
The feeling becomes something that can move through them rather than something that gets trapped inside.

Connection changes the meaning of the moment.

Because pain in the presence of safety is something the mind can integrate.

Pain in isolation is far harder for a child to carry.

And part of that safety is helping children understand what they are feeling.

If they do not yet know how to recognise it, how to feel it, or what to do with it, they cannot be expected to know how to move through it on their own.

These are skills children learn through guidance, language, and connection.

Skills that were never meant to be learned alone. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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10/03/2026

You can’t just force your child to respect you. They learn what respect looks and sounds like from you. If you give them respect, then they may reciprocate, but respect should not be conditional, same as love.

Respect that is forced is usually based on fear.

Do you find yourself getting caught up on this idea? Do you find your desire for respectful behaviour and communication gets in the way of connecting with your child, at times?
Our perception of respect can often be a barrier to connection. Once you stop feeling offended by your child’s behaviour, it’s easier to help them learn new strategies for communicating.

Sometimes it’s more that our child’s behaviour makes us feel triggered in some way and we need to process that trigger, in order to respond, instead of react.

In my book Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parent’s Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation, I discuss how our perception of respect can often be a barrier to connection. Once you stop feeling offended by your child’s behaviour, it’s easier to help them learn new strategies for communicating.

This book combines my knowledge of child development, brain science and trauma to offer parents a unique resource that includes lots of exercises, reflections, and insights. This book is written with the intention of supporting parents in developing the skills they need to co-regulate with their child and meet their emotional needs. It is based on my own healing journey, through parenting and so it is written with compassion for parents and children. We were all children once and that little person still lives inside us, trying to be seen and heard. Parenting often makes that connection to our little selves, hard to ignore.

Learn more about connection, co-regulation and deepening the parent-child bond in my book 👇

Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parent’s Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Link below

AUDIOBOOK OUT NOW

10/03/2026

centralcoastcounselling,com
Tuggerah

Relationships
Infidelity

Part 7.
In The Counselling Room:
What Happens After An Affair?

After a partner admits to an affair, boundaries are set, many couples feel stuck not knowing what comes next.
This is where the counselling room becomes a safe space to explore the path forward.

It’s not just about forgiveness. It’s about understanding, rebuilding trust, and defining what a healthy relationship looks like from here.

The counselling room allows both partners to:
Hear each other fully without interruption or judgement.

Explore emotions safely, from hurt and betrayal to anger and fear.

Clarify boundaries and expectations making them actionable and real.

Learn communication tools to prevent the past from repeating itself.

Decide on next steps whether thats repairing the relationship, redefining it, or creating space for healing separately.

Here, every question is welcome, every feeling is valid, and no one walks away unheard. Healing is a process, and it begins with both partners showing up honestly in the counselling room.

Your next step doesn’t have to be perfect-just honest. That’s where change happens.

09/03/2026

centralcoastcounselling.com
Tuggerah

Relationships
Infidelity Part 6.

What’s Next?
He’s confessed and wants to save the relationship.
You’re emotional and confused with lots of valid questions you need answers to.

Firstly:
Pause. Feel. Process.
Allow yourself to feel all the emotions.
Anger.
Grief.
Confusion.
Surrealism.
Shock.
Guilt.
Betrayed.

Secondly:
Clarify your boundaries.
Infidelity changes the rules of the relationship.
Decide what you need to feel safe emotionally, physically, and financially.
Boundaries might include:

No contact with the affair partner.
Transparency about communication and whereabouts.
Pauses in certain conversations until emotions calm.

Consider professional counselling.
This gives you both the opportunity to feel heard and supported.

Rebuilding trust takes time.
Expect:
Honest conversations about the affair.
Accountability for past behaviour.
Consistent reliability and respect.

Your Needs Come First.
This isn’t about him feeling better.
This is about your healing and safety.
You get to decide:

If you want to rebuild.
What conditions need to be in place.
When it’s ok to walk away.

A confession is just the beginning.
Being hurt is normal.
Processing the betrayal, setting boundaries, and seeking professional guidance are essential first steps before any decisions about the future.

Healing takes time, and you deserve to move at your own pace.

If you are ready for this next step and would like support in a professional and caring setting, click on the link above for a booking today.

05/03/2026

centralcoastcounselling.com
Tuggerah

Relationships.
Infidelity Part 5.

What happens after the confession?
What comes next?

The balance of power flips.
The future is in her hands.
Does she stay and work towards healing, forgiveness and repair?

Or does she leave it all behind….. but take the pain, resentment and contempt with her?

This is no longer about trust.

It’s about loss. The loss of what she thought was real.
It’s about grief. Grief over the death of the relationship as she knew it to be.
It’s about identity. She identified as his partner. Who is she without him?

If she chooses to stay, it’s about:
Rebuilding equality.

Building a new version of the marriage/relationship.
Stronger boundaries.
Transparency.
Shared responsibility for the emotional climate of the relationship.

If you feel stuck right now and you don’t know where to turn, Central Coast Counselling is here to support you.

Take the first step by clicking on the link above for a booking today.

03/03/2026

Centralcoastcounselling.com
Tuggerah

Relationships

Infidelity Part 4.
She sits across from him.

He says
“I’ll do anything.”

She replies.
“What if I do the work and you cheat again?”

This is the real question.

Not:

“Can I forgive you?”
“Can we survive this?”
“Will counselling fix us?”

The real question is:

Can I ever feel safe with you again?

The truth is

Staying isn’t about trust he wont cheat.
Leaving isn’t about punishment.

What it’s really about is:

Is he willing to become a different man?

Flowers do not rebuild trust.
Begging doesn’t rebuild trust.
Promises don’t rebuild trust.

What rebuilds trust is:
Transparency.
Consistency.
Radical honesty.
Understanding why it happened in the first place.

For her, it’s about:
Do I see genuine accountability?
Is he blaming me?
Is he minimising, justifying, or just sorry he got caught?
Is he doing the work when I’m not watching?

The cross roads are:
Can we build something new from the ashes of what was broken.

Some couples can.

Some couples shouldn’t.

The difference is are both people willing to look at both sides of the truth.

02/03/2026

centralcoastcounselling.com
Tuggerah

Relationships.
Infidelity.

Trust Isn’t Built With Words.

Part 1: They confess to an affair you discovered.

Part 2: They want to go to Counselling to save the relationship. You’ve said you don’t know if you can trust them again.

Part 3: They said they’ll do anything not to lose you.
You tell your partner you’ve heard it all before.
Trust is not rebuilt in Counselling sessions alone.

It is rebuilt:

When they answer the same question for the 50th time without getting defensive.

When they sit in your anger without trying to shut it down.

When you see consistency - not for a week… but for months.

When they get curious why it happened and not just because they got caught.

The truth is:

Infidelity is rarely about s*x.

It’s about disconnection.

Avoidance.

Unspoken resentment.

Unmet needs.

Unhealed wounds.

Unless you’re brave enough to explore why it happened, you’ll only ever rebuild a fragile version of your relationship.

Trust isn’t rebuilt with promises.
It’s rebuilt with transparency, accountability, and emotional endurance.

If you’re caught between the
“I want to fix it” / “I can’t trust you” stage…
That’s where the real work begins.

Central Coast Couple, this is the part no one prepares you for.
If you think you’re up for the work and you want to work on your relationship, (understanding the original relationship is dead), and you would like to repair, take the first step by clicking on the link above.

01/03/2026

centralcoastcounselling.com
Tuggerah

Relationships
After The Secret Is Out

Now what?
Shock.
Rage.
Numbness.
Questions that wont stop.
Images that replay.
A nervous system in survival mode.

One partner feels shattered.
The other feels exposed, defensive, or deeply remorseful.

And then comes the real question.

Do we end it - or do we rebuild?

Affairs don’t automatically end the relationship.
But they do end the relationship as you both knew it.

What comes next is about:
Truth.
Transparency.
Accountability.
Understanding why it happened.
And deciding together if something new can be built.

Healing after betrayal is possible.

This doesn’t minimise the pain of the betrayed partner.

It doesn’t mean the betrayed partner has to “get over it.

If you are sitting in the “now what?” stage -
You don’t have to navigate it alone.
At Central Coast Counselling you will find empathy, understanding and support.

Take the first step towards repair if that is what is what you are needing, or for support as to what to do next, by clicking on the link above for a booking today.

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28/02/2026

centralcoastcounselling.com
Tuggerah

Relationships
Why Infidelity Happens

Here’s The Truth.
Infidelity breaks trust.
Recovery requires honesty, accountability, and guided steps.

Infidelity is often about something deeper:

Emotional disconnect - one partner stopped feeling seen.

Avoidance - running from conflict, stress, and intimacy.

Unmet needs - affection, appreciation, and attention.

Life imbalance - work stresses, parenting, and health pressures.

Past patterns - old attachment wounds, trauma, or unresolved issues.

Most couples focus on the act itself.

Lasting repair comes from understanding the system that allowed it to happen.

To rebuild, there needs to be accountability,
and understanding what went wrong.

Don’t wait until resentment grows deeper.
Honesty and transparency are important
for the relationship to survive.

Don’t wait any longer. Take the first step by clicking on the link above for a booking today.

27/02/2026

centralcoastcounselling.com
Tuggerah

Relationships
When The Past Is Part Of Your Relationship.

Sometimes it’s not your partner who sets you off or makes you feel small.

It’s the voices of the past.

Your body isn’t just responding to the moment.
Your body is responding to history.

When you understand what your body is responding to, the conflict changes.

You stop fighting ghosts of the past.
You begin to understand yourself and your partner more clearly.

The voices hold less power over you when you face them head on.

If you feel your reactions are bigger than the problems in your relationship and you want to learn how to communicate with your partner, Central Coast Counselling can support you both.

Take the first step to discovering peace, support and understanding by clicking on the link above for a booking today.

25/02/2026

centralcoastcounselling.com
Tuggerah

Relationships
The Real Reason Your Arguments Go In Circles

One of you raises an issue.
The other feels attacked.
Someone becomes defensive.
Voices rise.
Someone shuts down.

This is a repeated pattern in the relationship.
Nothing is resolved.
Wounds are exposed.

Here’s what’s really happening.

You’re both fighting for emotional safety.
But the strategies you’re using are pushing each other away.

Criticism.
Attacks.
Withdrawal.
Explaining.
Shutting down.
Bringing up the past.

It doesn’t mean love is absent.
It means you don’t feel heard.

When a person doesn’t feel heard, they fight harder….or they shut down.

Patterns can be changed.

At Central Coast Counselling we can unpack this pattern together and discover the meaning behind the conflict and stop the cycle for good.

Take the first step to feeling heard and supported by clicking on the link above for a booking today.

Address

Level 5, Suite 504/No 1 Bryant Drive
Tuggerah, NSW
2250

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 7pm
Tuesday 9am - 7pm
Wednesday 9am - 7pm
Thursday 9am - 7pm
Friday 9am - 7pm
Saturday 9am - 3pm

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