10/02/2026
𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊
𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡?
We hear about the importance of building rapport all the time, don't we. We know it's a great resource and a much-needed asset but how do we actually do it?
There are a variety of techniques you can use, some easy and some complicated, so I'd like to share with you some quick, easy and effective ones to get you started.
𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐄𝐘𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐓: Sounds easy but it can also get a little awkward - how long, how often, can I blink???? The important thing is to stay face-to-face. Try not to constantly look down, don't look at your phone/computer, or be distracted by movement around you or behind them. This is just as important on a video call as it is in real life. Honour the person's presence by being present.
𝐂𝐎𝐏𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐇𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐌: This is easier in person as you can see and hear their breathing pattern although can be achieved if you are online. This very simple exercise brings you both into alignment. It is also very powerful if the person is agitated/upset and their breathing is heightened. By breathing with them initially and then slowing down your own rhythm, they too will begin to calm down. This works brilliantly with children by the way!
𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄: This is a little trickier and takes a bit of practice but it's a fun one. Listen to their language - do they use:
visual words like "I 𝐬𝐞𝐞 today is ...", "Now, 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 ..." or perhaps auditory language like "I 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 that ...", "𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 great" or maybe they are tactile, saying things like "𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 on ...", "I 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 that ..." or is it a logical way of speaking like "I need to 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞", "I 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 that ...". These are all clues as to how they process the world around them. If you can match their "language" they will see/hear/feel understood!
I'd love to hear about your experiences with these three rapport builders and if you tried them face-to-face or online.