21/10/2025
Sage advice..
🛑 STOP SAYING "GOOD JOB!": The Science of Meaningless Praise.
It's our default setting: your child ties their shoe, draws a circle, or cleans up a toy, and the words leap out—"Good job!" You think you’re encouraging them.
But generic praise is often empty noise. It's a verbal habit that trains your child to rely on external validation, not internal satisfaction.
The Science of Praise
Research shows there are two kinds of praise, and only one builds resilience:
Person Praise (Generic): "You are so smart!" or "You are so good at this!" This links success to fixed talent. When they fail, their brain interprets it as, "I'm not smart."
Process Praise (Specific): "You worked hard on that!" or "You kept trying different ways!" This links success to effort and strategy. When they fail, they know the solution is to change the strategy or increase effort.
Why This Matters
When we only say "Good job," we teach the brain to ask, "Did I please the adult?"
When we use Process Praise, we teach the brain to ask, "What strategy did I use to solve that?"
Independence doesn't grow from being told you're perfect; it grows from understanding the power of your own work. Praise the process, not the person.
ACTION STEP: For the next 24 hours, completely eliminate the words "Good job." Replace them with: "You worked hard on that," or "Tell me about the colors you chose."
