28/10/2025
Right or happy?
I’m defining right as having an accurate description of what is true (we’ll get to ego needing to be right shortly).
For 2 people to agree on what happened, is most important. Facts are first, and happiness is second. It’s possible to be happy in a delusion or lie, but it’s fake.
The healthy mind likes to be right and enjoys questions that lead to truth. The ego likes to be right for self-protection. Be aware of the difference.
In a healthy partnership being right and happy go together. There is less anxiety because the mind isn’t always questioning reality.
“To be clear, is to be kind.” Dave Ramsey
When communicating with a partner, you can avoid any language like, “You were wrong.” Try instead, “Thanks for providing more evidence” and “I hope that makes things clear.” This sort of language means less chance of an ego outburst.
Make it a relationship goal to be right and happy. Getting correct information should feel good and natural.
In a relationship, it’s okay to discuss what happened to make sure each person has the same version of reality. If you are dealing with someone who says you should be ‘happy’ but yells, avoids and changes topics when you want to discuss the facts, you’ve got yourself a big ego to deal with.
Beware the ego that cannot handle being wrong. You can expect narcissistic behaviours, gaslighting and tantrums. Speaking to the vulnerable here, please don’t actively challenge a person like this. If their ego is humiliated by truth, then violence might be next.
So, to be right or happy? Hold high standards for both. Keep your personal life free of delusion, so you can get on with enjoying life and being happy. Leave lying to the movies and media.
