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Counselling Wollongong

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Counselling Wollongong

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✨ Healing Inner Conflict (HIC) is a simple and powerful way to explore the 4 core mechanics behind why we do what we do — both inside and out. 🌱 Start your journey toward lasting change.

30/05/2025

🧠 The 4 Survival Mechanisms in Healing Inner Conflict (HIC)

When we’re hurt early in life, we build layers of protection to survive. These become automatic — and often keep us stuck.
Here are the 4 core mechanisms we explore in HIC work:

1️⃣ CHILD – Internal Override
Inner critic forms to suppress emotion and stay safe.
🗣️ “Don’t cry. Don’t speak. Stay small.”

2️⃣ ADOLESCENT – External Override
Rebellion kicks in to push back against control.
🗯️ “You can’t tell me what to do!”

3️⃣ ADULT – Override of the Adolescent
Keeps peace by suppressing truth, often passive-aggressive.
😶 “Fine.” (But seething inside.)

4️⃣ SELF-DISTRACTION – Override of Overwhelm
Addiction, scrolling, or numbing to avoid feeling.
📱 “I can’t deal. I need to check out.”

And when even distraction fails, deep shutdown or suicidality can emerge — the ultimate override.

🌱 These are not flaws. They’re survival strategies.
Healing begins when we meet them with curiosity, not judgment.
Which one do you notice most in yourself?

27/03/2025

What is inner conflict?

Inner conflict arises when one part of you feels disturbed by something that didn’t go as planned. For example, "I am angry with myself for shouting at the kids." To notice this, pay attention to how your body, thoughts, and feelings react when life doesn't align with your expectations.

Start by narrowing down the disturbance to a specific moment, like, "I am angry at myself for shouting at the kids yesterday at 3:30pm." Diagnosing inner conflict means understanding the symptoms—such as the recurring thoughts or emotions—and exploring what’s behind them to bring clarity and healing.

13/03/2025

Breaking Free from Childhood Conditioning

Ever hesitate to express yourself out of fear? This stems from a learned survival mechanism. As kids, if expressing sadness or desire led to criticism, an Anger/Intimidation part silenced the Sadness/Expressive part, creating a Fear/Paralysed part to ensure compliance.

This once-protective pattern now blocks authentic expression. By recognizing its roots—perhaps childhood moments of rejection—we see it's no longer needed. With awareness and sensitivity, we can integrate these parts, shifting from fear-based paralysis to authentic self-expression.

06/03/2025

"Stop, or I am leaving."

Your inner child needs proof that you can protect yourself now. Practice setting boundaries with a safe person who can help you reinforce that you can walk away from what doesn’t serve you. With time, your nervous system will trust that you are safe. 💛

27/02/2025

In order to be able to bring permission and encouragement for the expression of all feelings this must include anger, fear and sadness. Luckily, paralysis's the expression of fear so there is nothing to express. However, both most of the usual forms of expression of anger and sadness are culturally frowned upon. This is the opposite of permission and encouragement. Thus, the associated sensitive cult in the present moment must show the trained in childhood parts how to express anger and sadness in a healthy way.

The aim of these exercises is to show the parts for whom it was a bad idea to express anger in an early childhood context, that in this present moment there are ways and means of expressing that are very healthy and that don’t involve anyone getting hurt. For most people ‘when someone gets angry, someone gets hurt’. By getting the Associated Sensitive part to encourage the Anger/Intimidation part to express its anger in a safe environment, it is able to experience a whole new paradigm where feelings are able to be expressed fully, intensely, physically and in a somewhat contained way (i.e., where no body and property gets hurt).

Address

Suite 15, Central Chambers, 157 Crown Street
Wollongong, NSW
2500

Opening Hours

Thursday	8am - 6pm
Saturday	8am - 1pm

Website

https://www.counsellingwollongong.com.au/

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