The Happiness Lab

05/02/2026

People pleasing gets a pretty bad rap these days. It’s often framed as something to fix, unlearn, or outgrow.

Which has always confused me a bit tbh. Because my people-pleasing side has often worked for me...

It’s helped me build relationships.
It’s made me likeable.
It’s made me attentive, thoughtful, and tuned in to others.
It's even supported my wellbeing (hello )

It has mostly been a strength, not a flaw.

What I’ve learned over time is this - the problem isn’t caring about people. The problem only comes when I accidentally remove myself from the list of people who matter.

When people pleasing turns into self-neglect.
When kindness becomes depletion.
When being 'easy to work with' starts costing me more than it should.

So these days, I’m not trying to eliminate this side of me because, at risk of sounding boastful, it’s something I actually love about myself.

For my fellow people pleasers, my advice is this - don’t take the whole 'people pleasing is a terrible thing' advice too literally. If you’re like me, it may be one of the best parts of you.

People pleasing is a great thing, as long as you're one of the people.

- Carlie x

22/01/2026

One of the clearest findings in team research: The negative impact of a taker is around 3x greater than the positive impact of a giver.

Takers consistently put their needs ahead of the team. They drain resources, time and energy, hoard credit, and leave others to pick up the slack.

If you’re serious about sustainable high-performance, taking behaviour needs to be managed. Not ignored, tolerated or explained away.

Fit leaders protect the culture at all costs.

14/01/2026

05/01/2026

Welcome back to reality peeps!

15/12/2025

Social media's been a lot today, hasn’t it?

When something awful happens, social media can make it feel louder and closer than it already is. The same story everywhere, all at once, over and over. Our brains wired to fixate on the negative and social media is really great at amplifying that.

Today, I’ve been trying to remind myself that there’s more going on than what's overwhelming my feed. For every act of evil, there are countless acts of care, heroism, and decency in quiet ways that aren't as easy to spot.

Acknowledging this doesn’t minimise what has happened. Looking for the good while simultaneously feeling afraid and devestated can help our wellbeing when the world feels like a dark place.

Australia,
Bondi,
The Jewish Community,
You have my heart today ❤️

- Carlie

03/12/2025

We’re not built to see our own progress.

In high-pressure environments, it can sometimes feel like we’re sprinting without actually getting anywhere. Goals shift. Wins get minimised. Growth becomes invisible because we’re already onto the next challenge.

Something worth remembering: Most of us are miles further ahead than we realise.

Ask yourself this…

“If I sat down with the version of me from 12 months ago, what would they be proud to see in who I am today?”

Take 90 seconds.
Answer honestly.
See what comes up.

It’s incredible what happens when we pause long enough to notice how far we’ve come. It gives us a pep in our step that might’ve otherwise felt impossible. It fuels confidence. It unlocks motivation.

And if we lead others? Our job is to help them see it too.

14/11/2025

Yesterday was World Kindness Day…so I hit the road and delivered some special surprises to some of our wonderful partners.

I almost didn’t do the deliveries myself. It was a big week (it always is right?), my to-do list was ridiculous, and outsourcing was very tempting.

But I’m so glad I didn’t because the second I began driving, before I'd handed over even one gift, everything shifted.

I had the best day and got a good, kick-up-the-behind reminder that my kindness is just as good for me as it is for the people receiving it.

The smiles. The surprise. The 'wait, seriously?' It was magic.

We talk a lot at The Happiness Lab about the power kindness for cultivating leadership fitness and a high-performing culture. Yesterday was my reminder to pause and carve out time for kindness more often myself.

So, a little nudge from me today...Do one kind thing for someone in your world. Not because you have to, but because it’ll probably make your day too.

And a big shout-out to our local kindness partners who helped make the day awesome: Stacey Edwards Massage, Willow George Cake Co. and My Kitchen Cookies (look them up if you're after the best massage, cake or cookies in the Illawarra).

- Carlie x

13/11/2025

Happy World Kindness Day
❤️ the THL crew

05/11/2025

Can we please stop talking about change management like it’s 2005?

Newsflash: Change isn’t a project anymore. There’s no neat beginning, middle and end. In 2025, change is the norm.

I recently came across the term 'change fitness' (you know how much I love a fitness analogy). It’s about an organisation’s ability keep adapting without burning people out.

This is where emotionally agile, people-focussed leaders shine - the ones who help people make sense of what’s shifting, build resilience along the way, and create calm in the chaos.

It’s a tough gig and, so, to the leaders out there holding space, guiding with empathy, and keeping their teams steady through the noise - I see you.

21/10/2025

Ever wondered if you’ve got what it takes to lead?

After years of teaching leadership, we've developed a bit of a sixth sense for spotting potential — and it’s probably not what you’d expect.

It’s not about titles or confidence. It’s about curiosity, humility, and a willingness to grow.

In our latest blog, Carlie shares the 7 quiet signs she sees in people who are on their way to becoming great leaders.

Tag a colleague you see these qualities in 💛

https://www.thehappinesslab.com.au/blog/leadershippotential

Every now and then, someone walks into a leadership program and I can just tell - they’re going to make a great leader. But what are the early signs? Over the years, I've worked with countless leaders, teaching them the essential, human skills required for leadership fitness. In this time, I’ve ...

01/10/2025

Leadership is a responsibility, not a perk.

08/09/2025