05/12/2025
Why so many men obsess over pleasing a woman - and why it has nothing to do with seks?
1. The superficial layer
In our culture, we do not teach men to feel proud and grateful for being men.
Nobody tells them:
âItâs wonderful that youâre male. Enjoy it. Celebrate it.
Your masculinity is a gift to the people in your life.â
Men do not grow up hearing this.
And this absence becomes a deep wound - one that pushes them to become âgoodâ in the eyes of the outside world.
And being âgoodâ in the eyes of women often becomes the main arena.
Seks becomes the place where they try to prove their worth:
âI can satisfy her.â
âI am better than the others.â
âI matter.â
But in a patriarchal culture where many women are dissatisfied with men, this becomes an endless battlefield.
No matter how good you are, she might have had someone better before you, or someone better after you.
You can never be sure.
You are never âgood enough.â
This keeps men stuck in insecurity and distracts them from their own inner world.
They never have to face how little they actually feel during seks - how numb they are - because nothing flows through their nervous system when they are armored everywhere.
Many men are essentially a collection of muscular and emotional defense mechanisms.
2. The fear of âfailingâ
Then thereâs the fear of being âfailedâ by a woman.
What if you try everything, and it simply doesnât work, and she says:
âSorry, but that was honestly the worst seks Iâve ever had.
No one has ever made me feel this little.â
Would you still be able to love yourself?
Would you still be able to stand up afterward and feel like a god inside?
You would have to.
Because what destroys you in that moment is not her judgment.
Itâs the unresolved voice of your mother - the ghost youâve never shaken off.
Thatâs the truth.
And that is still just the superficial part of the answer.
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