Psychologist Aiste

09/05/2025

24/01/2024

Hello all, if your new year's goals include improving your parenting skills, my course might help. I am going to offer a parenting course on Friday evenings via zoom. It starts February 23! More information here:

Positive Discipline

21/10/2022

My next course on Positive Discipline starts November 11th. It is on Fridays 12.00 - 13.30 via zoom, might be useful for those who can have a break during lunch. More info:

https://happyduckling.org/portfolio/parenting-with-positive-discipline/

14/04/2022

Parenting Course

With the war in Ukraine, nothing seems so important anymore. But the advice is to do our usual things. So I would like to announce my usual course for parents, this time for Tervuren community.

The course is for parents with children up to the age of 10. On Fridays, 12.00-14.30. Starts in May.

More info below

Positive Discipline

08/04/2022

As a 16-years-old girl, Edith liked and was very good in ballet. She was so sad and devastated when she was not selected for a performance because she was a Jew. And then there was Auschwitz, both her parents killed, suffering after that, difficult adjustment in America. In this whole story of suffering, she still depicts some gestures of positivity and emphasizes the possibility of choice in every situation. She survived together with her sister, who was a great purpose to live for her. Viktor Frankl was one of her mentors and friends who helped her after. Now she is a therapist.

It is so extremely sad that the history repeats itself, with the current war in Ukraine. There is a new meaning now in reading such a book.

The Choice: A true story of hope

06/01/2022

Psychological Consultations for adults and children.

Wednesday 14.00 – 20.00
Friday 9.00 – 14.00
Constant Dereymaekerlaan 33, 3080 Tervuren

Thursday 9.00 – 14.00
Boulevard du Regent 29 – 14, 1000 Brussels

07/12/2021

I am going to offer another parenting course, this time via zoom, starting January 14th. More information below:

https://happyduckling.org/portfolio/parenting-with-positive-discipline/

18/05/2021

Positive Parenting conference starts today!

An annual tuneup for your parenting toolkit! Raise happy, well-adjusted kids using Positive Parenting. 16 amazing experts show you how! FREE and online.

15/05/2021

Book review

“Hunt, Gather, Parent.” By M. Doucleff

Finally here is a book on ancient culture parenting!

I think there is nothing really new in this (another) parenting book, except some aspects. What fascinated me and gave me a fresh perspective is that the author sets to visit hunter-gatherers and indigenous cultures still alive today and she witness how they parent. Most contemporary books on parenting look to science, science and science. Thanks to this book, I was immersed into the everyday life of ancient cultures, noticing aspects of parenting that work in real situations. It would be already enough for me those real descriptions, and the author’s personal journal of parenting, although the book has chapters on strategies what you can do to raise confident, autonomous and cooperative children.

I want to touch upon one aspect of parenting – the child’s contribution to the household, doing chores. One of the most frequent complaints from the parents is that children do not do chores when asked (or bribed, or threatened). Teenagers, they are supposed to go against parents, not to help them, right? Teenagers of those indigenous cultures explored in the book help doing chores willingly, without being asked. Quite a big contrast, no? It appears it is common for parents in these cultures start asking occasionally for help from the very start when the child starts walking. The request is usually very specific: can you bring me this bowl from the table? Can you wipe the table? Not too many – usually three – four per day, which decreases with age as then children understand themselves what needs to be done. Toddlers usually are so willing to do things that adult do. But this does not mean that they will do it in a right way: often the mess is even bigger after them helping than before. So another important aspect is to accept the child’s contribution, even if it is not according to our standards. This means not interfering when the child is busy involved in her task. Just try it and see how difficult it is. Once my daughter wanted to wash dishes. After a short time, I already was interfering by explaining that sponge does not need to be sooo wet. I guess it did not really increase her motivation to wash dishes again.

By requesting contribution, parents give children an opportunity to feel valuable, belonging and willing to help others.

In this small aspect of chores, we see how these cultures embrace cooperation and trust in child, whereas in Western culture usually parents go down to control (ordering what to do) and fear (applying punishment, consequences).

HUNT, GATHER, PARENT

22/04/2021

https://happyduckling.org/2021/04/22/small-changes-to-your-lifestyle-make-a-big-difference-in-your-well-being/

How are your New Year resolutions if you had ones? I bet you are not that strongly committed to them anymore or you even stopped doing what you promised yourself to do already long time ago. Assumi…

15/04/2021

The book “Human Kind. A Hopeful History” by Rutger Bregman claims that human nature is good. Weird but hopeful! The author really looks at events and human behavior from another perspective, not usual one where humans are all selfish. Majority of solders do not shoot. People are helpful to each other in major disasters. Boys accidentally appeared on an inhabited island learn to get on well with each other and survive. People, placed in supervisor and prisoner roles in a reality show, just become friends.

With such a claim, the author has a lot of job to do to investigate how come we live according to different principle - that humans are selfish – and so employees, for instance, have to be managed (otherwise they will not work), children have to be managed (otherwise they will not learn). It all started with a property – when human beings settled and so to be superior became useful. This is one of those books claiming that one of the happiest periods in human history was when humans were hunters-gatherers and lived without wars, based more on cooperation rather than competition. But with the start of property, it all started. Several factors contribute to the view that human being is evil:
- Media. Usually, disastrous behaviors are reported more than good behaviors because the former attracts more attention.
- Research. Fake, I mean. Such experiments as Milgram (people press shock machine inflicting a lot of pain to another, when ordered) and Zimbardo (showing that people who assigned to supervisors’ positions in a prison become very cruel) are again researched in this book and appear to be not true.
- Common understanding. Certain philosophers look at human as evil and this view, it seems, is the foundation of a lot of systems. Take economy, for instance. You have to make business want to be selfish (earn a lot of money) in order for them to do something (even good).

So here it is: humans evolved thanks to friendliness and sociability (as far as I know research shows that kind people are also more likely to be successful) but our world works based on power, and power diminishes empathy and friendliness.

There remains a lot of complicated things to understand but one is clear: if I think that others are selfish, I will behave in a certain way. If everybody does that – all our society functions on a presumption that human is evil. Self-fulfilling prophesy.

It is a very interesting read.

29/09/2020

Free online conference "Raising resilient kids in an anxious world"

Free Conference - Mindful Parenting for High Needs Kids - How to Raise Resilient, Connected Kids in an Anxious Time – Get Expert Support