05/22/2025
Coercive control/domestic violence is saturated throughout the entire globe and is kept alive via victim blaming and patriarchal norms rooted in culture, religion, and legal systems that promote and perpetuate these norms.
A person recently called me a crazy man hater for posting about this stuff on my personal profile... understand that while I do acknowledge that some men are lovely, secure human beings, some men are perpetrators of violence and use the most insidious forms of narcissistic and other types of abuse to entrap and control their intimate partners. These men systematically destroy their partner's sense of self, autonomy, and self-worth, blame their victim for the abuse, and she naturally begins to believe it and subscribe to it because it is coming from a person whom she loves and trusts.
When she begins to speak out, often the first thing he will tell everyone is that she is crazy and he has been the victim all along. When you hear this narrative, check in on the women in your lives. Ask them how their partner makes them feel about themselves, their worth, their value in the world. Ask them what they are not allowed to do in their lives or in their relationship. Ask them who is in control the finances. Ask. Check in. Speak out about the abuse.
Abuse in intimate relationships is real and permeates through every neighborhood on the planet. She is not crazy for doing the hard work to recognize her worth and enforce boundaries by demanding respect of her basic human rights.
She is not crazy for leaving him when he refuses to stop hurting her.
Understanding coercive control can help save lives. Here's how to notice the early warning signs and offer practical support.
