02/03/2026
When we get stuck not trusting our built-in compass, our inner child runs us on self-doubt and codependency.
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Examples:⠀
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NOT trusting red flags 🚩 in dating because we don't want to be mean or alone or judgy; ⠀
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"I'm probably wrong or mean about them being so late all the time."
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NOT setting boundaries or addressing conflict because;⠀
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"what if I'm wrong…and I'm just being a pain, and it probably isn't as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be…"
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NOT getting out of situations that no longer serve us; ⠀
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"They're probably right... I can't do better than this."
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We can overcome self-doubt by spending time looking at our childhoods and find concrete specific examples when the adults were abusive about reality and rewrite them.⠀
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1) "It's your fault I'm feeling this way." - WEAPONIZED SHAME AND BLAME
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2) "We're a normal, loving family." …WHEN IT'S TOXIC AND DYSFUNCTIONAL
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3) "Your mother loves you...you're just so difficult." - TURN THE VICTIM INTO THE ABUSER
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As kids, we have to surrender to our parent's lack of reality because they have all the power.⠀
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Let's correct those three.⠀
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1) "It's your fault I'm feeling this way."⠀
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I'm shaming you about my own sh*tty feelings to gain power and sympathy.
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2) "We're a normal, loving family."⠀
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I'm denying and minimizing dysfunction and not using my power to fix things for the kids.
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3) "Your mother loves you...you're just so difficult."⠀
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I'm making you into the problem, not protecting you, and not addressing how abusive your mother is because I'm a coward.
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It is very powerful to start calling things for what they are in our present lives, but we can't do that until we start calling out the abuse for what it was in our childhood. ⠀
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Imagine trusting yourself and your amazing built-in intuition.
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Clients tell me they don't have a compass, but that's not true.
They have one and they just need help trusting it.
