06/19/2022
A few days ago, I was reading an article on social etiquette. I found the authors to describe etiquette in a really interesting way.
Traditionally, the idea of social etiquette might be thought of as a list of stuffy guidelines. Reading this, the term etiquette was instead described as a code of very practical ethical, and moral principles, an awareness, and a type of actioning, that as humans, we all share.
It was very refreshing, a compassionate take on the fundamental humanness that is woven into our collective fabric.
In todays day, these pillars can so easily be lost, trying to keep up in today’s ever changing, and expectant world, is something that we are all challenged by.
Below is a part of the article that I found especially impactful.
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“Debrett’s, a 250-year-old British authority on manners, also has an empathetic worldview when it comes to etiquette rules—or lack thereof.
“To us, it’s not about the rules,” says Debrett’s teacher and expert Katherine Lewis. “Etiquette is a consideration of other people and your impact on them.
And that might be by knowing certain codes of behavior, traditions, or expectations of other people and what matters to them. It’s a cornerstone of being a human. We have a big code of inclusivity, and respect of other people’s cultures. Etiquette shouldn’t be used to judge you or make you feel less than—it’s how people communicate today.”
But don’t take etiquette to mean the exact same thing as manners (defined as “polite social behavior.”) Manners are definitely part of the equation, but there’s still a difference between the two.
“I don’t think politeness means that you look the other way when something is hard or sad,” says Newman. “For me, part of etiquette is not looking away from other people’s grief or any kind of injustice. I think that means saying to yourself, all day every day, ‘What’s required of me in this moment?’ Empathy is probably the biggest governing principle of it. It’s forgiveness, flexibility, and generosity—the pillars of behaving in community in a loving way. But it’s also courage.”