03/27/2026
Here I am in 2026 and my entire apiary has died, again! I’ve battled varroa mites, viruses and everything under the sun with bees. They keep dying. I know I’m not alone in this but it seems the commercial beekeepers who use synthetic pesticides and miticides in their hives experience less loss. I’ve always rejected the use of anything that wasn’t organic. New studies have proven my concerns about them; mites are building resistance to the synthetic chemicals and the residue stays in the wax.
After having Townes my body has been having a difficult time enduring the backbreaking hive management labour of 50-100 hives. Hell, 10 hives is a lot of weight to be incorrectly lifting!
I’ve always had anxiety in the bee yard because yes, I am deathly allergic to bees. Anxiety never stopped me before — I’d layer on the PPE, puff extra smoke around me and even cranked up my headphones so I couldn’t hear their defensive buzzing and slammings into my veil. Between the reoccurring catastrophic losses and my allergy, I think anxiety management is getting to me now. I’m even taking stuff for that! So what do I do? To protect my peace, I must take a step back to really evaluate my actions and next steps.