12/13/2025
Why Understanding the Layers Helps You Regulate
When you don’t know why you’re angry, your nervous system stays activated. You remain in fight, flight, or freeze with no clear way out. But when you pause and explore the layers beneath the anger, your body begins to settle.
Imagine sitting across from me in session. You say, “I’m just angry all the time.” I’m not going to stop at the surface. I’d ask:
“What kind of anger?”
“Where do you feel it?”
“What happened right before the anger showed up?”
"What situation or person triggered this emotion?"
"What need is going unmet?"
We peel back the layers until something clicks, and we find a moment of recognition that brings relief, clarity, or insight.
That’s the power of awareness.
It shifts you from emotional reactivity into emotional understanding.
When you can name the deeper feeling, you can tend to it.
When you can tend to it, you can regulate your nervous system and you build capacity.
And when you can regulate, you can respond instead of react.
