Bayridge Counselling Centres

02/16/2026

And consistency calms our nervous system, where we feel safe. We all need to feel safe and in healthy relationships we do. And many of us never felt safe in a relationship and have old wounds and is so used to being 'on' all the time; and then learning to heal and find a healthy partner, that feeling of safety feels beyond words.

Do you agree? Let me know in the comments ❤️

02/16/2026

So many people live together and go day to day, year to year, without really knowing how their person is feeling inside and the thoughts that occupy their mind. Many people share that they feel lonely and are 'happily married' yet in truth, they are not happy because they do not know how to connect with their person. Of course sometimes it's a fear to share, and sometimes it's simply not knowing there is an option to share which is 'good' because we can learn how to overcome these stuck points and attain incredible intimacy which feels amazing.

“…sex is not intimacy. Living under the same roof is not intimacy. Having late-night talks is not intimacy.”

Article link in comments. 👇

02/16/2026

This does not mean that there will never be a conflict, and that you will always be happy because that is not realistic. It means knowing your person makes you feel safe no matter what.

02/16/2026

Emotionally hungry children often grow into adults who love in ways that feel “too much” even when they don’t want to.

When you grow up craving emotional presence, your system becomes trained to grab tightly onto any moment that feels warm, safe, or intimate, even if it’s fleeting.

-A single vulnerable exchange can feel like a bond.
-A small gesture can feel like a promise.
-A shift in someone’s energy can feel like a threat.

You read deeply into things most people overlook because you were conditioned to survive on very little.

When emotional nourishment was inconsistent, your brain learned to amplify anything that resembled connection.

These are coping mechanisms that were once necessary, just no longer accurate for the life you’re trying to build now.

You are not broken for loving the way you learned to survive. You are simply overdue for the kind of nourishment you should have always received.

Keep shining,
Dr. L ✨

02/16/2026

The partners who make you feel safest aren't the ones who intuitively know what you need.

They're the ones who ask.

They check in instead of assuming. They clarify instead of guessing. They request instead of expecting.

This isn't less romantic. It's more functional.

Healthy relationships aren't built on magical mind-reading. They're built on clear communication and mutual willingness to be explicit about needs.

The effort isn't in guessing correctly. The effort is in asking consistently.

And on your side, the effort is in answering honestly instead of testing whether they'll figure it out on their own.

02/14/2026

What couples really fight about from Esther Perel, international relationship expert. 🧠🧠

02/14/2026

Two siblings can experience the same parent and the same rupture, and their lives can unfold in radically different ways.

Years later, siblings can look at each other and feel genuinely confused by how different their lives look.

It’s not that one remembers incorrectly, exaggerates the pain, or was simply stronger. It’s that each learned something different about closeness, loss, and safety while trying to get through the same rupture.

In the moment, both were coping. Just differently.

One sibling may be the one who remembers the fights clearly. The waiting. The sense that something fragile could fall apart at any time. They track the parent who left or withdrew, trying to understand them, stay close, or make sense of what went wrong. With little support, the work happens internally. That strategy helps them get through then, but later it can show up in how pain is held, how relationships are navigated, or how much effort it takes to feel steady.

Another sibling may have had more support without it ever being named as such. A teacher who noticed. Friends whose homes felt calmer. A grandparent who offered consistency. Or an older sibling who absorbed some of the emotional weight. Their coping still forms, but alongside moments of relief and steadiness, which can shape how closeness, stress, and responsibility are carried later.

Sometimes siblings were treated differently by the same parent. One was leaned on. One was protected. One was expected to understand. One was allowed to avoid. Both adaptations were intelligent responses to what was happening at the time.

Those early lessons don’t disappear. They quietly shape how adulthood is navigated.

02/13/2026

We need to change the language from good emotion and bad emotion. There’s no such thing as a bad emotion. There are comfortable emotions and uncomfortable emotions and all are important and tell us so much about ourselves about what we need and why and what we enjoy and why.

Teach your kids this early:
All feelings are valid. Not all behaviors are acceptable.

You’re allowed to feel angry.
You’re not allowed to hit.
You’re allowed to feel frustrated.
You’re not allowed to scream at everyone.
You’re allowed to feel disappointed.
You’re not allowed to be disrespectful.

Our job isn’t to shut down emotions — it’s to coach our children on how to express them safely.
Emotionally safe homes create emotionally intelligent kids. 🤍

Validate the feeling.
Guide the behavior.
That’s how we raise regulated humans.

02/13/2026

Healthy love is a beautiful thing to experience. You know it when you think about them when you’re out and about and see something and think wow they would love that. Or even going on a drive and seeing an incredible sunrise and wishing the other person was with you. Food taste better. Every moment is better even though horrible ones when you’re with the right person.

What’s one everyday moment you’d love to share with your person?

02/12/2026

My child says, “Thank you for apologizing,” instead of “It’s okay,” and it’s one of my proudest moments as a parent.

Because they’re not minimizing their feelings to make an adult comfortable. They’re not rushing to absolve harm that still mattered.

They understand that accountability doesn’t need permission and that apologies aren’t something you beg for or dismiss.

They’re learning that respect goes both ways, even between parent and child.

I didn’t teach them perfection. I taught them repair.

And watching my child expect accountability, accept it with grace, and keep their self-worth intact tells me I’m breaking cycles—quietly, intentionally, and for good.