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Oceanside Psychology Group

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Burnaby, BC
Oceanside Psychology Group

Psychologist-led psychotherapy practice specializing in Emotion-Focused Therapy.

03/01/2026

The “secret habits” of people pleasers aren’t random — they’re protective.

From an Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) perspective, people pleasing isn’t a personality flaw. It’s an emotional strategy.

Somewhere along the way, you may have learned:

👉It’s safer to wait and see what others think before sharing your own view.
👉If someone is upset, it must be your job to fix it.
👉Apologizing quickly prevents conflict.
👉Your feelings are “too much” — so you minimize or suppress them.

These patterns usually develop for a reason.

At a deeper level, people pleasing is often organized around core emotional needs:

✨ The need for connection
✨ The fear of rejection or abandonment
✨ The hope that if you’re “easy” or “good,” you’ll be loved

In EFT, we slow down and gently explore what’s underneath the pleasing. Often we find tender emotions — hurt, fear, loneliness — that never had space to be fully felt or responded to.

And here’s the important part:

👉You don’t stop people pleasing by trying harder to set boundaries (although this might eventually be what you do).

👉You stop by building a more secure internal foundation — where your emotions make sense, your needs matter, and connection doesn’t require self-abandonment.

When you no longer have to earn closeness, your voice comes forward more naturally.

If this resonates, you’re not alone — and it’s not “just the way you are.” It’s something that can shift with support.

12/27/2025

The holiday season is one of the busiest times of the year. It’s easy to get caught up in the chaos and miss the opportunity to reflect as we approach the end of the year.

Taking time to reflect can help us move in new directions and can also help us identify if we’re stuck, stagnant, or want to keep doing exactly what we’re doing.

So, in your busy days, take a moment to enjoy the “pause.” Here are some prompts that might help:

👉Where was I at the start of the year, and where am I now?
👉What are some challenges I overcame this year?
👉Who and what am I thankful for?
👉Were there any lessons I learned this year that I want to carry forward?
👉What makes me feel at peace?
👉What aspirations do I want to work on?

Setting aside the time to reflect doesn’t need to wait until the new year approaches. It’s a great practice to integrate throughout the year. It helps us reconnect with what matters, feel less overwhelmed, and find a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives.

12/20/2025

The holidays are a busy time of the year that can be a source of both joy and loneliness. Holidays encourage gathering and quality time; however, for those who feel distanced from their friends and family, the holidays can be disappointing or lonely.

To combat feelings of isolation, you might find it helpful to:

⭐Adjust your expectations

Often, the media portrays a specific way to celebrate the holidays, but the holidays can be celebrated in many different ways. These might include more self-care, indulging in local festivities, or looking for a new experience.

⭐Volunteer or make new connections

The holidays emphasize gift-giving; however, there are other ways to give back! Participating in various food or gift drives, helping at a soup kitchen, donating clothes, or giving out holiday cards are ways to foster connection and encourage kindness to others who are struggling as well.

⭐Get creative or festive

Many activities we think should only be done with friends can also be done individually! This includes baking, watching a movie, decorating, and going for a walk or drive to look at Christmas lights.

⭐Listen to the loneliness:

Ask what your loneliness needs. If it’s connection, there are many different ways to get this need met, including volunteering, animals, nature, spirituality, among others.

Overall, the holidays can feel isolating, but there are plenty of things to do to feel less lonely. Sometimes, we just have to look for them. 💗

12/14/2025

People often feel as though it’s too late to act on something. They think: “What’s the point? Too much time has passed” or “I won’t be able to catch up.”

A few reasons people feel this way are:

👉Societal pressure to reach achievements by a certain age (i.e., graduation, occupation, kids, etc.)
👉Anxiety that comes with change
👉Fear of failure

Being “too late” is almost always a fear-based response that is based more on a feeling than an objective fact. It’s often not too late to act. Remember the saying: “Better late than never?” That saying often holds true.

⭐️Take the pressure off. Give it a try. You might discover that you are capable of more than you thought.

12/07/2025

Emotions can feel messy, overwhelming, or even scary at times, but did you know they’re your body’s way of sending you important messages?

Ignoring or hiding from them may seem easier in the moment, but when we tune in, emotions can guide us toward what we truly need.

Each emotion (such as sadness, anger, guilt, joy, etc) carries valuable information about what you need, what you value, and what’s happening within or to you. When we allow ourselves to feel instead of pushing emotions away, we open ourselves up to the messages they are trying to convey.

12/03/2025

Do you constantly feel like you have to be “on?” You’re not alone.

Many people feel like:

👉They can’t slow down.
👉They can’t be themselves.
👉They need to do more or be more.

It’s exhausting.

Often, behind the part of us that pushes us to take on more, do more, be more is a deeper fear of being found unacceptable or not good enough if we don’t.

Some fear being found out:

👉“They’ll see me for the fraud that I am.”
👉“They won’t like me or love me if they get to know the real me.”

Sound familiar? Where does that come from for you? Whose voice is that in your head?

Although the part of us that pushes us can be useful and adaptive at times, when it’s too loud or too dominant, or it doesn’t let us take care of ourselves or be ourselves, that’s often where we run into trouble. What do you want to say back to that part of you that’s constantly on top of you?

11/29/2025

Depression can show up in a lot of different ways, but most often, it shows up as feeling sad, down, or “blah” combined with a loss of interest in things we once enjoyed.

When we’re depressed, we also tend to struggle with:

👉Motivation
👉Difficulty thinking, concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
👉Sleep (sleeping too much or too little)
👉Fatigue
👉Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
👉 Changes in appetite (eating too much or not enough) and weight (loss or gain)

The feelings tend to LINGER, not just for a day or two, but for weeks and, for some, years.

Thoughts of death or su***de are also common and aren’t necessarily accompanied by any active intent of following through on the thoughts. They might sound like:

👉”I wish I wouldn’t wake up tomorrow.”
👉”I wish I could just disappear.”
👉“Sometimes I wish an accident would take me out of the picture.”
👉“It would be easier if I were gone.”
👉“People might be better off if I weren’t here.”
👉”I don’t want to live anymore.”

Some turn to substances to try to not feel, but it doesn’t last.

If you’re struggling, contact a mental health professional to talk about what’s going on. They can help (even though a part of you probably feels like nothing and no one will be able to).

If someone you care about is struggling, it might also be helpful to talk to someone about what to do and how to respond. It’s hard…you’re not alone.

04/12/2025

The adults and youth that Anna sees in her practice are often looking for help with anxiety, depression, relationships, concentrating, and even physical discomfort. They struggle to express their needs and emotions and have difficulty setting boundaries.

They don’t feel like they can be themselves due to fear of being misunderstood, judged, or rejected if they are.

Often, her clients describe traumatic pasts or difficult life events that remain unresolved. They’re hypervigilant for things that could go wrong or numb and dissociated. Negative beliefs such as “I’m not lovable,” “My feelings aren’t important,” or “I’m a failure” are deeply ingrained, and serve as stumbling blocks on their path to happiness and more fulfilling relationships.

Internalized messages from society or family on how to live, what to like, and how to behave often further undermine their self-esteem, hold them back, and make them feel like they don’t belong. They may feel confused about their direction in life, who they are, and where they stand with others.

Parents of Anna’s teen clients are often worried about their child. They want more for them, but don’t know what to do.

If you’re ready to get support for yourself or your teen and experience a lasting change, contact our office to schedule a free phone consult or session today. Anna speaks Russian fluently and offers sessions in both English and Russian.

**Please note that therapists are restricted to practicing in the province in which they are licensed. We are only able to offer sessions to residents of BC.**

04/05/2025

Forgiveness is often described as a decision in which a person who has been wronged actively decides to let go of resentment and replace it with feelings of compassion and kindness, even if the person who caused the hurt may be undeserving of such feelings.

Holding onto resentment isn’t beneficial, which is where forgiveness can come in (although it’s not always necessary or the only route to healing…another route is holding the person accountable for their wrongdoing and working through the feelings around it).

First, it’s important to differentiate between what forgiveness is and what it isn’t...

Forgiveness IS:
✅An internal process that isn’t influenced by others.
✅Letting go of hostile feelings towards the person who caused the harm.
✅Not focusing on past events that won’t change.
✅Giving up on the need for revenge or punishment.
✅Cultivating concern (and sometimes compassion or pity) for the offender and wishing them well.

Forgiveness ISN’T:
❎Allowing harm to continue.
❎Ignoring the harm and unfairness.
❎Forgetting or denying the events that took place.
❎The same as reconciling, which isn’t always possible or necessary.
❎Giving up on proper justice.
❎Letting the problem ‘slide’ or ‘pushing it under the rug.’
❎Giving up on what can’t be changed.

Forgiveness often takes time and is a process that requires unpacking many feelings (e.g., anger, hurt, sadness, disappointment, disgust). However, when we arrive at a place of forgiveness, it often provides a sense of inner peace and opens the door for more positive emotions to make their way back in. ❤️

03/29/2025

For many, the “need” to be productive results from feeling we’re not good enough unless we’re productive. Our worth is tied to our performance and how much we achieve, accomplish, or produce.

For many, constantly being our productive best has become a norm. While we may be navigating a web of external expectations, self-imposed standards are often also at play.

Does your inner dialogue reflect a negative view of yourself? If so, it might sound like:

“I can’t slow down, there’s always more to do.”
“If I’m not constantly working or achieving, I feel like I’m falling behind.”
“Everyone else has it together. I just can’t keep up.”
“I’ll be fine. There are priorities higher than my rest.”
“People will think less of me or won’t like me if I’m not giving them what they need.”

Valuing ourselves enough to embrace downtime requires a shift in perspective towards self-compassion and self-care. Rest and relaxation are not signs of weakness or underachievement but rather crucial components of a healthy and balanced life.

12/24/2024

From our family to yours, sending care and warm wishes to you and your loved ones this holiday season. ❤️

12/14/2024

The clients Amrit sees in her practice often feel overwhelmed and need a safe space to help them understand what they’re experiencing and why. Many of them are afraid of not being heard or understood, not unlike in their past or other aspects of their life.

Many of my clients have histories characterized by long-term abuse and multiple victimizations.

As adults, they view themselves as “damaged,” “defective,” and vulnerable to more harm. They’re vigilant for any signs that they’re not safe.

At an emotional level, my clients describe feeling “out of control.” They struggle with panic, anger, fear of abandonment, shame and depression, and many fluctuate between these feelings and extremes. Their emotions control them, not the other way around.

To cope, they often turn to substances, self-harm, eating unhealthy food, overworking, impulsive spending, “scrolling” on their phones, and other similar strategies. These behaviours often represent their best attempt not to feel painful feelings, only they hurt them in other ways. Their relationships suffer and their work or other commitments often do too.

They’re tired of things always feeling so hard. They want to have more control over their lives but can’t seem to figure out how.

If this sounds familiar and you live in BC, we invite you to reach out to our office to book an appointment or schedule a free phone consult with Amrit today.

**Please note that therapists are restricted to practicing in the province in which they are licensed. We are only able to offer sessions to residents of BC.**

Address

602-3292 Production Way
Burnaby, BC
V5A4R4

Opening Hours

Monday	8am - 5pm
Tuesday	8am - 5pm
Wednesday	8am - 5pm
Thursday	8am - 5pm
Friday	8am - 5pm

Telephone

+16042394640

Website

https://oceansidepsychology.com/, https://oceansidepsychology.janeapp.com/

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