Mindset Solutions Counselling

12/07/2025

📚 Pondering Sunday #6 — What Research Tells Us

Modern research views narcissism as existing on a spectrum—from healthy self-confidence to destructive grandiosity.
Childhood experiences such as neglect, overpraise, or inconsistent affection can all shape narcissistic traits later in life.

Emerging studies suggest that self-compassion and mindfulness can help reduce narcissistic defensiveness, increasing empathy and relational awareness. Some therapies now integrate compassion-focused and attachment-based work to foster healthier identity development.

Understanding NPD through science helps reduce stigma—it reminds us that personality disorders are not moral failings, but complex adaptations to early pain.

🪞 Reflection:
When we learn more, we judge less. Compassion doesn’t mean tolerating harm—it means seeing the full picture while choosing boundaries that honour our wellbeing.

✨ Call to Action:
Explore evidence-based resources about NPD this week, such as the National Institute of Mental Health or PsychCentral. Awareness builds resilience—for yourself and your relationships.

11/30/2025

💊 Pondering Sunday #5 — Can Medication Help?

While there’s no “cure” for NPD through medication, certain medications can help manage co-occurring conditions such as depression, anxiety, or mood swings.

SSRIs (antidepressants), mood stabilizers, or anti-anxiety medications can reduce emotional volatility and impulsivity—making therapy more effective. However, medication alone won’t address the underlying personality structure or emotional wounds.

For survivors of narcissistic abuse, medication can sometimes help with symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, or insomnia that follow the trauma. Healing is often holistic: therapy, self-care, support groups, and when appropriate, medication.

🪷 Reflection:
Emotional healing isn’t linear. Whether through therapy, medication, or both, what matters most is consistent self-compassion and support.

✨ Call to Action:
If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or post-relationship trauma, reach out to your healthcare provider. You don’t have to manage it alone—help is available and effective.

11/23/2025

💬 Pondering Sunday #4 — Treatment and the Hope for Change

Can narcissists change? The answer is complex—but not always “no.”

Treatment for NPD focuses on helping individuals build empathy, tolerate vulnerability, and see themselves through a realistic lens. Psychodynamic therapy, Schema Therapy, and DBT are some of the most promising approaches.

However, lasting change requires insight and willingness—two things that often emerge only after significant life consequences (like failed relationships or job loss). Progress can be slow, and relapse into old patterns is common.

🪞 Reflection:
If you care for someone with NPD, remember: their healing is not your job. Compassion without boundaries becomes self-abandonment.

✨ Call to Action:
Focus on your own growth. Therapy can help you rebuild trust—in yourself and in others—so you can love without losing yourself.

11/16/2025

🧠 Pondering Sunday #3 — Spotting the Signs

Narcissistic behavior often reveals itself in subtle ways before becoming obvious. You might notice:

💬 Constant need for praise
💬 Lack of empathy for others’ struggles
💬 Minimizing your feelings
💬 Explosive reactions to criticism
💬 Using charm or flattery to manipulate outcomes

In relationships, narcissists may “love-bomb” early on, creating fast attachment. Once you’re invested, the emotional withdrawal begins. You may start to doubt yourself—while they position themselves as the victim or hero.

🪷 Reflection:
Recognizing red flags early helps protect your emotional safety. You don’t need to diagnose someone—you only need to notice how you feel around them.

✨ Call to Action:
If you often feel drained, anxious, or unworthy around someone, that’s data. This week, pay attention to which relationships leave you feeling smaller—and take one step toward reclaiming your space.

11/09/2025

💔 Pondering Sunday #2 — The Trauma of Loving a Narcissist

Loving someone with narcissistic traits can feel like walking through a hall of mirrors—everything you think you know about yourself gets distorted.

At first, there’s love-bombing: affection, intensity, and admiration that feel like a dream. But soon comes criticism, withdrawal, or blame. These emotional highs and lows create what psychologists call trauma bonding—a cycle of hope and fear that keeps you tied to the relationship.

Over time, gaslighting and invalidation erode your confidence. You begin to question your memory, your emotions, even your worth. The result is a painful disconnection from your own identity.

🪞 Reflection:
Healing begins by naming what happened. It’s not about revenge or bitterness—it’s about reclaiming your voice and re-learning what safe love feels like.

✨ Call to Action:
If you recognize yourself in this, reach out for professional support. You deserve healing, not confusion. You are not too sensitive—you were simply not treated with care.

11/02/2025

🪞 Pondering Sunday #1 — Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) isn’t just about vanity or arrogance—it’s a complex psychological condition rooted in fragile self-esteem and deeply buried emotional wounds.

At its heart, NPD involves an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and difficulty empathizing with others. But beneath that exterior often lies a deep fear of rejection, shame, or insignificance. Many with NPD have learned to protect themselves through control, perfectionism, and emotional detachment.

It’s important to remember: not every person with narcissistic traits has NPD. Personality exists on a spectrum, and those with the full disorder often struggle in relationships, careers, and self-understanding.

🪷 Reflection:
Have you ever found yourself adjusting your behavior to avoid someone’s anger, criticism, or withdrawal? That might be your nervous system responding to chronic invalidation.

✨ Call to Action:
Take five quiet minutes this week to journal about your emotional boundaries. Where do you feel overextended or unseen? Awareness is the beginning of change.

11/02/2025

https://www.facebook.com/RachelMSC/

I am a registered provisional psychologist with The College of Alberta Psychologist, under the supervision of registered psychologist Kate Harper. I offer in-person, online counselling services across two Calgary and Strathmore locations.

10/26/2025

📝 Pondering Sunday: The Power of ADHD Assessment

A formal ADHD assessment is often misunderstood. Some see it as just a label. But in reality, it’s so much more — it’s a process of understanding yourself in a deeper, more compassionate way.

Here’s what an assessment can uncover:

Clarity: pinpointing symptoms and patterns that may have gone unnoticed.

Validation: realizing the struggles you’ve faced aren’t because of laziness, but because of how your brain works.

Direction: knowing what treatment options, strategies, and supports will help you thrive.

Strengths: assessments don’t just look at challenges; they highlight areas where you excel.

For many adults, the process is profoundly healing. Years of confusion or self-criticism can finally make sense. It’s not just about a diagnosis — it’s about creating a roadmap forward.

And importantly, an assessment is tailored. It rules out other conditions, examines functioning across different areas of life, and gives you a full picture of how ADHD shows up for you.

This Sunday, reflect on this: What if the clarity you’ve been searching for is only one step away?

📌 If you’re ready for that clarity, I offer comprehensive evidence-based ADHD assessments for adults. Learn more here:
www.mindsetsolutionscounselling.ca

10/19/2025

🔬 Pondering Sunday: What the Latest ADHD Research Tells Us

Science is constantly reshaping how we understand ADHD — moving us beyond outdated stereotypes into deeper compassion and clarity.

Here are some key insights from recent research:

ADHD impacts not only attention but also working memory, planning, and emotional regulation. It’s about how the brain manages the “executive functions” of daily life.

Neuroimaging shows differences in dopamine pathways — highlighting why ADHD brains seek stimulation and novelty.

Lifestyle factors matter. Adequate sleep, exercise, and nutrition can reduce symptoms significantly.

Multimodal treatment — combining therapy, medication, structure, and support — consistently proves more effective than any single approach.

This research reinforces what many people have felt all along: ADHD is complex, layered, and real. It’s not about laziness, lack of willpower, or poor discipline. It’s about a brain that processes the world differently.

The most hopeful finding? With the right supports, people with ADHD don’t just “cope” — they thrive. Many leverage their creativity, energy, and big-picture thinking to excel in careers, relationships, and personal growth.

This Sunday, remember: if past strategies haven’t worked, it doesn’t mean nothing will. It just means you haven’t found your fit — yet.

📌 If you’d like to work with someone who stays up-to-date with ADHD research, I’d be honoured to support you:
www.mindsetsolutionscounselling.ca

10/12/2025

💊 Pondering Sunday: ADHD and Medication

When people hear “ADHD,” medication is often the first thing that comes to mind — and also one of the most misunderstood. Some believe it changes who you are. Others fear dependency. But here’s the truth: medication for ADHD is not about altering personality. It’s about helping the brain find balance.

Stimulant medications, for example, target dopamine pathways in the brain, helping to regulate attention, impulse control, and focus. For many, the experience is profound — they describe it as putting on glasses for the first time. Suddenly, the mental fog clears, and tasks that once felt impossible become manageable. For others, medication is less dramatic but still supportive — reducing symptoms enough to create space for therapy, routines, and new skills.

But medication is not a “one size fits all.” It works differently for everyone, and it’s not the only option. Some people thrive without it, relying instead on therapy, coaching, lifestyle changes, and structure. Others find that combining approaches — medication plus therapy plus healthy routines — gives the best outcome.

The key is informed choice. Medication is a tool, not a crutch. And like any tool, it’s most powerful when used thoughtfully, with guidance from a healthcare professional.

This Sunday, I invite you to consider: what if taking medication wasn’t about weakness, but about support? What if it was simply one way to give your brain the environment it needs to thrive?

No matter what path you choose, the important thing is that you have options — and the freedom to choose what works for you.

📌 If you’d like to explore ADHD treatment options, including how medication and therapy can work together, I’d love to support you:
www.mindsetsolutionscounselling.ca

10/10/2025

💼 Pondering Sunday: “Work, Worth, and Well-Being”

Observance: World Mental Health Day (October 10)

So much of our identity is tied to our work — what we do, how we perform, how we’re seen. Yet the demands, pressure, burnout, perfectionism, comparison, and “always-on” culture take a heavy toll.

Workplaces often neglect the mental side of wellness. But recent conversations around psychological safety, flexible policies, and mental health supports show what’s possible: environments that care for the person behind the role, not just the output.

This Sunday, reflect: What boundaries are you holding between work and life? Where does your worth become entangled with productivity? What small changes might protect your mental space—pauses, transitions, saying “no,” silencing the inner critic?

Your mental health matters—not just on days off, but every day.

📌 If your work life is wearing you down, therapy can help you reclaim your boundary, identity, balance, and resilience:
www.mindsetsolutionscounselling.ca

10/06/2025

❤️ Pondering Sunday: ADHD and Relationships

ADHD isn’t just an individual experience — it ripples into relationships too. Partners often describe feeling unheard, forgotten, or sidelined when ADHD symptoms get in the way. Missed dates, forgotten chores, or difficulty staying present during conversations can feel deeply personal.

On the other side, the partner with ADHD may feel criticized, inadequate, or like they’re “never enough.” The cycle is painful: one feels unseen, the other feels unworthy.

But here’s the hopeful truth — ADHD does not have to be a relationship ender. With awareness and support, couples can learn to navigate its challenges together. Research shows that when both partners understand ADHD, they can shift from blame to teamwork. Instead of “You never listen to me,” it becomes, “Let’s find strategies so we can both feel heard.” Instead of “You always forget,” it becomes, “Let’s create reminders and structures that work for us.”

Love thrives when we turn toward each other with empathy. ADHD invites couples to build stronger communication, clearer expectations, and creative solutions. And when partners learn to view ADHD as a shared challenge rather than a personal failing, connection deepens.

This Sunday, reflect on this: What would change in your relationship if you both approached ADHD not as a weakness, but as something you can work through — together?

📌 If ADHD is straining your relationship, couples counselling can help bridge the gap. Learn more here:
www.mindsetsolutionscounselling.ca