Mindset Solutions Counselling

01/11/2026

📉 Pondering Sunday #5 — New Year Pressure and Comparison

The new year often arrives with another wave of expectations: new goals, better habits, a “fresh start.” While motivating for some, this messaging can feel overwhelming or invalidating for others—especially those still emotionally recovering from the holidays.

Social comparison intensifies. Productivity becomes the measure of worth again. Rest is quietly pathologized.

Growth does not require urgency. Healing does not require reinvention.

🪞 Reflection:
You are allowed to move slowly. You are allowed to pause. You are allowed to be exactly where you are.

✨ Call to Action:
Instead of resolutions, ask yourself one question: What would support me this season? Let that guide your next step.

01/04/2026

❄️ Pondering Sunday #4 — The Holiday Blues and Emotional Letdown

Once the holidays end, many people experience an emotional drop known as the “holiday blues.” The structure disappears. The distractions fade. Real life resumes—with all its unfinished business.

This emotional comedown can include sadness, irritability, low motivation, or a sense of emptiness. For some, it’s compounded by grief, financial stress, or unmet expectations about how the holidays “should have felt.”

This isn’t a personal weakness—it’s a nervous system response after prolonged emotional and social stimulation.

🪷 Reflection:
Your mood does not need to “bounce back” on a schedule. Healing happens at a human pace, not a cultural one.

✨ Call to Action:
Ease back into routine gently. Focus on basics: sleep, nourishment, movement, and connection. Small acts of care matter more than resolutions right now.

12/28/2025

🏠 Pondering Sunday #3 — When You Don’t Have Family to Go Home To

For those without close family, the holidays can feel especially isolating. When every conversation starts with “What are you doing for Christmas?” it reinforces the idea that being alone is an anomaly—or worse, a personal failing.

Estrangement, loss, immigration, divorce, or chosen distance from unsafe family dynamics can leave people without a place that feels emotionally secure. Yet society rarely makes space for these stories. Instead, loneliness becomes something to hide.

Being without family during the holidays does not mean you are unlovable, broken, or behind. It means your life has unfolded differently—and that deserves compassion, not judgment.

🪞 Reflection:
Chosen solitude can be healing. Being alone is not the same as being unsupported or unwanted.

✨ Call to Action:
If this season feels lonely, consider creating small rituals just for you—or connecting with others in similar positions. You are not the only one feeling this way, even if it looks like it.

12/22/2025

🎄 Pondering Sunday #1 — The Pressure to Feel Joy

As Christmas approaches, there’s an unspoken expectation that this should be the happiest time of the year. Advertisements show smiling families, perfectly wrapped gifts, and homes filled with warmth and laughter. The message is subtle but powerful: if you’re not joyful, something must be wrong.

For many people, the week before Christmas is anything but peaceful. It can bring heightened stress, grief, loneliness, financial pressure, or emotional exhaustion. For those navigating mental health challenges, strained family relationships, or recent losses, this time of year can amplify pain rather than ease it.

The problem isn’t that joy exists during the holidays—it’s that we’re told it should exist universally. When emotions don’t match the expectation, shame often follows. People begin to wonder why they feel disconnected, irritable, or numb when they’re “supposed” to feel grateful and festive.

🪞 Reflection:
What if the goal this season wasn’t happiness, but honesty? What if making space for your real emotional experience was enough?

✨ Call to Action:
This week, give yourself permission to feel exactly what you feel—without fixing it or explaining it away. Emotional authenticity is not failure; it is resilience.

12/18/2025

🎁 Pondering #2 — Excessive Spending and Emotional Guilt

The holidays are often framed as a time of generosity, but generosity has quietly become synonymous with spending. Bigger gifts. More decorations. More events. More pressure. For many, financial strain becomes an invisible burden carried silently through the season.

People overspend not because they are irresponsible, but because they fear disappointing others or being perceived as inadequate. Spending becomes a way to signal love, belonging, or success—especially in a culture that equates worth with productivity and provision.

Financial stress doesn’t end on December 25th. Credit card debt, regret, and anxiety often follow into the new year, compounding emotional fatigue. This can lead to shame, secrecy, and a sense of failure that lingers long after the lights come down.

🪷 Reflection:
Love is not measured by receipts. Care is not proven through debt. Worth is not transactional.

✨ Call to Action:
If finances are tight, consider setting compassionate boundaries around spending this year—or planning differently next year. Talk openly with trusted people. Financial honesty is an act of self-respect.

12/07/2025

📚 Pondering Sunday #6 — What Research Tells Us

Modern research views narcissism as existing on a spectrum—from healthy self-confidence to destructive grandiosity.
Childhood experiences such as neglect, overpraise, or inconsistent affection can all shape narcissistic traits later in life.

Emerging studies suggest that self-compassion and mindfulness can help reduce narcissistic defensiveness, increasing empathy and relational awareness. Some therapies now integrate compassion-focused and attachment-based work to foster healthier identity development.

Understanding NPD through science helps reduce stigma—it reminds us that personality disorders are not moral failings, but complex adaptations to early pain.

🪞 Reflection:
When we learn more, we judge less. Compassion doesn’t mean tolerating harm—it means seeing the full picture while choosing boundaries that honour our wellbeing.

✨ Call to Action:
Explore evidence-based resources about NPD this week, such as the National Institute of Mental Health or PsychCentral. Awareness builds resilience—for yourself and your relationships.

11/30/2025

💊 Pondering Sunday #5 — Can Medication Help?

While there’s no “cure” for NPD through medication, certain medications can help manage co-occurring conditions such as depression, anxiety, or mood swings.

SSRIs (antidepressants), mood stabilizers, or anti-anxiety medications can reduce emotional volatility and impulsivity—making therapy more effective. However, medication alone won’t address the underlying personality structure or emotional wounds.

For survivors of narcissistic abuse, medication can sometimes help with symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, or insomnia that follow the trauma. Healing is often holistic: therapy, self-care, support groups, and when appropriate, medication.

🪷 Reflection:
Emotional healing isn’t linear. Whether through therapy, medication, or both, what matters most is consistent self-compassion and support.

✨ Call to Action:
If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or post-relationship trauma, reach out to your healthcare provider. You don’t have to manage it alone—help is available and effective.

11/23/2025

💬 Pondering Sunday #4 — Treatment and the Hope for Change

Can narcissists change? The answer is complex—but not always “no.”

Treatment for NPD focuses on helping individuals build empathy, tolerate vulnerability, and see themselves through a realistic lens. Psychodynamic therapy, Schema Therapy, and DBT are some of the most promising approaches.

However, lasting change requires insight and willingness—two things that often emerge only after significant life consequences (like failed relationships or job loss). Progress can be slow, and relapse into old patterns is common.

🪞 Reflection:
If you care for someone with NPD, remember: their healing is not your job. Compassion without boundaries becomes self-abandonment.

✨ Call to Action:
Focus on your own growth. Therapy can help you rebuild trust—in yourself and in others—so you can love without losing yourself.

11/16/2025

🧠 Pondering Sunday #3 — Spotting the Signs

Narcissistic behavior often reveals itself in subtle ways before becoming obvious. You might notice:

💬 Constant need for praise
💬 Lack of empathy for others’ struggles
💬 Minimizing your feelings
💬 Explosive reactions to criticism
💬 Using charm or flattery to manipulate outcomes

In relationships, narcissists may “love-bomb” early on, creating fast attachment. Once you’re invested, the emotional withdrawal begins. You may start to doubt yourself—while they position themselves as the victim or hero.

🪷 Reflection:
Recognizing red flags early helps protect your emotional safety. You don’t need to diagnose someone—you only need to notice how you feel around them.

✨ Call to Action:
If you often feel drained, anxious, or unworthy around someone, that’s data. This week, pay attention to which relationships leave you feeling smaller—and take one step toward reclaiming your space.

11/09/2025

💔 Pondering Sunday #2 — The Trauma of Loving a Narcissist

Loving someone with narcissistic traits can feel like walking through a hall of mirrors—everything you think you know about yourself gets distorted.

At first, there’s love-bombing: affection, intensity, and admiration that feel like a dream. But soon comes criticism, withdrawal, or blame. These emotional highs and lows create what psychologists call trauma bonding—a cycle of hope and fear that keeps you tied to the relationship.

Over time, gaslighting and invalidation erode your confidence. You begin to question your memory, your emotions, even your worth. The result is a painful disconnection from your own identity.

🪞 Reflection:
Healing begins by naming what happened. It’s not about revenge or bitterness—it’s about reclaiming your voice and re-learning what safe love feels like.

✨ Call to Action:
If you recognize yourself in this, reach out for professional support. You deserve healing, not confusion. You are not too sensitive—you were simply not treated with care.

11/02/2025

🪞 Pondering Sunday #1 — Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) isn’t just about vanity or arrogance—it’s a complex psychological condition rooted in fragile self-esteem and deeply buried emotional wounds.

At its heart, NPD involves an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and difficulty empathizing with others. But beneath that exterior often lies a deep fear of rejection, shame, or insignificance. Many with NPD have learned to protect themselves through control, perfectionism, and emotional detachment.

It’s important to remember: not every person with narcissistic traits has NPD. Personality exists on a spectrum, and those with the full disorder often struggle in relationships, careers, and self-understanding.

🪷 Reflection:
Have you ever found yourself adjusting your behavior to avoid someone’s anger, criticism, or withdrawal? That might be your nervous system responding to chronic invalidation.

✨ Call to Action:
Take five quiet minutes this week to journal about your emotional boundaries. Where do you feel overextended or unseen? Awareness is the beginning of change.

11/02/2025

https://www.facebook.com/RachelMSC/

Registered Provisional Psychologist providing in-person and online counselling in Calgary and Strathmore. I support individuals and couples with anxiety, depression, life transitions, and relationship concerns through evidence-based, compassionate care.