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Healing with Alisha

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Healing with Alisha

Therapist holding a safe space to explore your 🌎
Passionate about connection & healing🤍

10/25/2025

For those who feel they carry more of the emotional weight…who’ve worked so hard to get through, to hold the relationship, to learn what you bc an do adjust and show up in helpful ways …
sometimes the deepest truth is this: you can give everything you have, and it still won’t be enough for them to see you…meet you there.

That’s not proof you’re unlovable… or there’s anything wrong with them or you…
It’s just that love, the kind that heals and expands, can’t live where only one person is growing.

You tried. So did they.
And that’s still something sacred.

10/10/2025

If you’re the distancer in your relationship, you’re not “emotionally unavailable” or “uncaring.” Your nervous system learned that safety depends on space, and that pulling away protects you from overwhelm and independence became a defence mechanism to protect you from the abandonment you’ve felt.

But here’s the paradox: the very thing you do to feel safe (creating distance) can leave your partner panicked and pulling in harder…creating the cycle neither of you want.

The work isn’t to stop needing space. It’s to name it with honesty, to soften how you take it, and to practice staying present enough to communicate your needs and build the skill to circle back to co-create the relationship you both need.

10/01/2025

Many of us don’t realize that we’ve been cast into a pursuer role in our relationships…We equate closeness with safety, so when distance shows up, our bodies move toward it…sometimes urgently, sometimes desperately.

This doesn’t mean we’re “too much” or “broken.” It means our nervous system learned that safety depends on connection. The challenge is that our very reaching can trigger the opposite response…creating a cycle of chasing and retreating.

The work isn’t to stop wanting closeness. It’s to bring compassion to why we seek it so urgently, and to find steadier ways of holding ourselves when distance arises ❤️‍🩹

09/07/2025

Pay attention to what you judge most in others- it’s often the very thing you judge in yourself… but perhaps wrapped different.

You call them “needy,” while secretly shaming your own longing.
You resent their laziness, while pushing yourself past exhaustion.
You roll your eyes at their need for attention, while hiding your own hunger to be seen.

The judgment isn’t the problem. It is the way we condemn them, and ourselves (inevitably and unconsciously).

Self-compassion means noticing the mirror… and daring to offer those parts of you permission instead of punishment or offering empathy to someone else via seeing yourself in their behaviour vs. othering them to stay safe…and that way we can experience our common humanity…❤️‍🩹♥️

08/30/2025

Sometimes “busy” isn’t about having too much to do, it’s about not wanting to feel what might surface if you slowed down.

That doesn’t make you weak….It means your body has learned that movement feels safer than stillness.

Self-compassion isn’t forcing yourself to meditate or rest when it feels unbearable. It’s beginning with awareness: Where is my busy coming from? And then meeting yourself there, without judgment.
♥️

08/25/2025

I’ve come to see self-worth differently over the past few years… if your anything like me then the mantra you repeat or a belief you “lock in” once and for all that your “worth is not negotiable”…fell short because you find yourself still feeling shame, not good enough and unworthy of love and belonging.

Perhaps at one time we had inherent worth (when we were born and we just needed to be a child) but ever since grade school the world has told you what you’re worth. I think the feeling of worthiness flourishes in connection, in reciprocity, in being mirrored by another who sees and values what you are. It isn’t something given or taken or that you just feel regardless of what someone is reflecting back about their experience of you.

So remind yourself in those moments that when the way you are naturally in the world is resonant with what is needed in the community or relationship..you feel worthy.. it’s a harmony.. a dance.. and it’s co-created. And if we forget this then we may find ourselves hustling for our worth and coming up short- every-time. 😔 ❤️‍🩹

08/22/2025

You don’t need to earn your pause…Let this weekend be an invitation to exhale, soften and be present in the moments you can ♥️

08/15/2025

Gratitude isn’t just about saying “thank you.”

It’s about paying attention…
Noticing the tiny ways life and the people in it show up for you and then letting yourself feel that.

At first, it might feel clumsy or even forced. That’s not a sign it’s not working. That’s a sign your nervous system is learning how to receive.

The more you practice naming and expressing gratitude…to yourself, to a partner, to the people you love…the more you create a feedback loop of safety, trust, and warmth in your relationships.

Noticing what’s here doesn’t erase the hard things.
It makes sure the good things don’t go unnoticed.

💭 What’s one small thing you’re noticing and appreciating today?

08/06/2025

ChatGPT is a powerful tool for reflection, but it isn’t a substitute for human connection.
It can offer insights, validate your experiences, and even soothe in the moment…
But it won’t always challenge you, especially when you need it most. And it is not currently able to protect your information.

Healing often lives in the discomfort we avoid. And sometimes, it takes another human- a therapist, a friend, a partner in a safe space to help us see what we’ve been protecting ourselves from.

This is not a warning against using AI in your healing, just an invitation to stay discerning, curious, and aware in how and what you use it for 🖤

This is what I’ve learned so far, would love to hear your thoughts and anything else you’ve learned👇🏽

08/02/2025

The rise of anonymous apps like “Tea” is telling us something…

We’re holding so much pain that hasn’t been witnessed ❤️‍🩹

So instead of sitting with it, naming it out loud to someone we trust, or grieving what we never got…
We are trying to offload it through exposure. Through retaliation. Through a moment of anonymous “justice.”

But pain that isn’t metabolized becomes projection.
It gets sharper…Meaner…More distant from the part of you that just wanted to be held.

The problem isn’t that people are speaking up. The problem is that so many of us were never taught how to speak up without losing ourselves in the process.

Before you post the thing.
Ask:
-What am I really trying to say?
-Who do I want to become?
-Is this action aligned with that?

Sometimes the most radical act is not silence…it’s learning how to name your truth with clarity, integrity, and care with someone who can hold space for it while also honouring the kind of person you’re still trying to become.

🕊

08/01/2025

Affair recovery is messy. Painful. Complex.
And often oversimplified.

It’s not about forgetting or pretending it didn’t happen.
It’s about facing the rupture with honesty, grief, and accountability from both partners.

Some relationships end.
Others are reborn.
But none come through untouched.

This post isn’t about what you should do.
It’s a reflection for those who choose to stay and rebuild.

There is no going back.
But there can be something new.
❤️‍🩹♥️

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