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Healing with Alisha, Calgary, AB (2026)

02/24/2026

We don’t talk enough about how quickly attachment wounds can take over in relationships 🫣
This happened to me recently and I wanted to share with ya’ll…. Phew ❤️‍🩹

It is not that we are manipulative….
Or that the other person is evil….

But because dysregulation narrows our vision.
Read that again 🫠

It pulls us into old survival strategies and makes it hard to hold both realities at once…. ours and theirs.

Healing isn’t about never getting triggered (trust me I started there too…)
It’s about growing the capacity to recognize when a younger part has taken the wheel… 💡

And finding relationships where those moments don’t automatically mean the end can help you recognize these patterns and make space for another way of responding… that makes space for the both of you ❤️‍🩹

02/24/2026

We don’t talk enough about how quickly attachment wounds can take over in relationships 🫠

Not because we’re manipulative….
Not because the other person is evil….

But because dysregulation narrows our vision.
Read that again.

It pulls us into old survival strategies and makes it hard to hold both realities at once…. ours and theirs.

Healing isn’t about never getting triggered.
It’s about growing the capacity to recognize when a younger part has taken the wheel.

And finding relationships where those moments don’t automatically mean the end.

01/19/2026

I think about self-worth often. It permeates everything we do, and yet so many of us struggle to understand how to cultivate it (myself included).

What I’ve learned is that our sense of worth doesn’t form in isolation…

It’s shaped in relationship…especially in relationships where we are seen, understood, and not asked to be less, more, or different in order to belong.

This isn’t about approval…It’s about capacity.

Capacity for you to go inward and learn who you are and what your essence is....

And then finding people who have the capacity to know you and value this essence… this matters deeply. Easier said than done 🥲 I suppose that’s part of the adventure.

12/05/2025

We talk about “facing our demons” like we’re preparing for a battle inside ourselves. But the more I sit with people’s stories (and my own) the clearer it becomes that most of these so-called demons are actually younger parts of us that never felt safe.

The fear that still tightens your chest...
The jealousy that catches you off guard…
The neediness you try to hide…
The shutdowns you shame yourself for…
The shame spirals you swore you had “healed” from..

None of these are enemies….they are echoes….

They’re the versions of you who didn’t get support, regulation, or attunement at the moments they needed it most. They learned to survive in ways that made sense at the time…and now you punish them for still carrying the burden.

We call it “shadow work” or “facing our darkness,” but what we’re really doing is meeting the parts of ourselves we’ve spent years treating as a threat.

Healing isn’t a conquest.
It’s a homecoming.

And the parts you’re tempted to label as “demons” are often the ones who’ve been waiting the longest for you to finally stop seeing them as the problem. Phew ❤️‍🩹♥️

12/04/2025

We talk about “facing our demons” like we’re preparing for a battle inside ourselves. But the more I sit with people’s stories (and my own) the clearer it becomes that most of these so-called demons are actually younger parts of us that never felt safe.

The fear that still tightens your chest...
The jealousy that catches you off guard…
The neediness you try to hide…
The shutdowns you shame yourself for…
The shame spirals you swore you had “healed” from..

None of these are enemies….they are echoes….

They’re the versions of you who didn’t get support, regulation, or attunement at the moments they needed it most. They learned to survive in ways that made sense at the time…and now you punish them for still carrying the burden.

We call it “shadow work” or “facing our darkness,” but what we’re really doing is meeting the parts of ourselves we’ve spent years treating as a threat.

Healing isn’t a conquest.
It’s a homecoming.

And the parts you’re tempted to label as “demons” are often the ones who’ve been waiting the longest for you to finally stop seeing them as the problem. Phew ❤️‍🩹♥️

shadowwork traumainformed healingjourney innerwork selfcompassion nervoussystemregulation reparenting emotionalintelligence healingrelationships mentalhealthawareness authenticity healingwithalisha

10/25/2025

For those who feel they carry more of the emotional weight…who’ve worked so hard to get through, to hold the relationship, to learn what you bc an do adjust and show up in helpful ways …
sometimes the deepest truth is this: you can give everything you have, and it still won’t be enough for them to see you…meet you there.

That’s not proof you’re unlovable… or there’s anything wrong with them or you…
It’s just that love, the kind that heals and expands, can’t live where only one person is growing.

You tried. So did they.
And that’s still something sacred.

10/10/2025

If you’re the distancer in your relationship, you’re not “emotionally unavailable” or “uncaring.” Your nervous system learned that safety depends on space, and that pulling away protects you from overwhelm and independence became a defence mechanism to protect you from the abandonment you’ve felt.

But here’s the paradox: the very thing you do to feel safe (creating distance) can leave your partner panicked and pulling in harder…creating the cycle neither of you want.

The work isn’t to stop needing space. It’s to name it with honesty, to soften how you take it, and to practice staying present enough to communicate your needs and build the skill to circle back to co-create the relationship you both need.

10/01/2025

Many of us don’t realize that we’ve been cast into a pursuer role in our relationships…We equate closeness with safety, so when distance shows up, our bodies move toward it…sometimes urgently, sometimes desperately.

This doesn’t mean we’re “too much” or “broken.” It means our nervous system learned that safety depends on connection. The challenge is that our very reaching can trigger the opposite response…creating a cycle of chasing and retreating.

The work isn’t to stop wanting closeness. It’s to bring compassion to why we seek it so urgently, and to find steadier ways of holding ourselves when distance arises ❤️‍🩹

09/07/2025

Pay attention to what you judge most in others- it’s often the very thing you judge in yourself… but perhaps wrapped different.

You call them “needy,” while secretly shaming your own longing.
You resent their laziness, while pushing yourself past exhaustion.
You roll your eyes at their need for attention, while hiding your own hunger to be seen.

The judgment isn’t the problem. It is the way we condemn them, and ourselves (inevitably and unconsciously).

Self-compassion means noticing the mirror… and daring to offer those parts of you permission instead of punishment or offering empathy to someone else via seeing yourself in their behaviour vs. othering them to stay safe…and that way we can experience our common humanity…❤️‍🩹♥️

08/30/2025

Sometimes “busy” isn’t about having too much to do, it’s about not wanting to feel what might surface if you slowed down.

That doesn’t make you weak….It means your body has learned that movement feels safer than stillness.

Self-compassion isn’t forcing yourself to meditate or rest when it feels unbearable. It’s beginning with awareness: Where is my busy coming from? And then meeting yourself there, without judgment.
♥️

08/25/2025

I’ve come to see self-worth differently over the past few years… if your anything like me then the mantra you repeat or a belief you “lock in” once and for all that your “worth is not negotiable”…fell short because you find yourself still feeling shame, not good enough and unworthy of love and belonging.

Perhaps at one time we had inherent worth (when we were born and we just needed to be a child) but ever since grade school the world has told you what you’re worth. I think the feeling of worthiness flourishes in connection, in reciprocity, in being mirrored by another who sees and values what you are. It isn’t something given or taken or that you just feel regardless of what someone is reflecting back about their experience of you.

So remind yourself in those moments that when the way you are naturally in the world is resonant with what is needed in the community or relationship..you feel worthy.. it’s a harmony.. a dance.. and it’s co-created. And if we forget this then we may find ourselves hustling for our worth and coming up short- every-time. 😔 ❤️‍🩹

Healing with Alisha

02/24/2026

02/24/2026

01/19/2026

12/05/2025

12/04/2025

10/25/2025

10/10/2025

10/01/2025

09/07/2025

08/30/2025

08/25/2025

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