01/15/2026
Grief wasn’t the problem. The way I was taught to approach it was.
I learned early on to power through, stay positive, be resilient, get back to normal. So I did. Or at least I tried, until my body couldn’t anymore. I either shoved grief down until it leaked out sideways, or I let it flood me because no one ever taught me how to be with it safely.
What I know now is that grief needs consent. It needs pacing. It needs space to move without taking over my entire life.
I had to learn how to let it in slowly. On purpose, a few minutes at a time. One feeling, one breath. Enough to stay present without tipping into overwhelm.
There are no big breakthroughs here, no dramatic releases. Simply small, honest moments where I choose to listen instead of push. Where I stop asking grief to hurry up and start asking myself what feels possible today.
This is how I stay in relationship with myself while grieving. Not by forcing healing, rather by choosing gentleness when intensity nearly broke me.
If you’re exhausted, it might not be because you’re doing grief wrong.
It might be because you’ve been carrying too much, all at once.
