Hey everyone, first and foremost thank you very much for showing interest and checking out my page. As a lot of you know health and nutrition has been a passion of mine for over 10 years, and it’s usually something I just don’t stop talking about! Haha :)
I wanted to talk a little bit of what got me started working in the field of health and nutrition, as I feel like it’s something that a lot of people are struggling with, sometimes silently; that thing is mental illness.
Specifically I started experiencing feelings and thoughts that I later realized was defined as social anxiety. I would describe it as being extreme social anxiety during several different periods of my late teens to mid twenties, causing me to isolate myself away from everyone, fearing contact from friends and family, thinking I was unworthy and unable to properly converse with people.
The interesting thing is, I have no idea where these thoughts came from. I can honestly not identify why I started feeling this way, and I still think it’s so strange that as someone who loved class presentations, reading in front of people, being the center of attention, etc. that I would develop an anxiety that is based around what has always been one of my favourite things to to: being around and talking with other people.
When I was about 19 I first started feeling this way, and I honestly thought I was the first and only person to ever feel like this. I think this is an important thing to mention because I know from talking with friends, family and customers at the several different health food stores I have worked at that this is very common. It’s pretty sh*tty that our brains do such a great job at making us feel alone and so different, especially at a time when we really need connection.
As I started to isolate myself because of thoughts and feelings of inadequacy, thinking I wasn’t interesting, that I was always being judged, that’s when the depression set in. I remember being so worried to tell my family about it, thinking they wouldn’t understand. In the end I’m so glad I did because my mom and I became so much closer throughout my struggles and I can honestly say I would not have made it through my darkest times without her. Looking back I know how hard it was for her to see me in such a state, and I am so thankful that she was so strong and didn’t let me know how much it was affecting her, I don’t know if I would have been able to handle that at the time. Thank you so much mom, I love and appreciate you more than words can express, of course not only for this instance but for all of the things you have done and continue to do for me and our family.
I was so against the idea of using anti-depressants to deal with my mental health, I thought it meant that I was weak. I put it off for longer than I should have, but eventually I was so tired of feeling that way that I eventually did (and over the course of about 5 years I tried several more, combinations, etc.). Despite the fact that they really didn’t do much for me (there is a lot of evidence that genetics has a large part to play in this) I am definitely not against other people using them (not that it’s any of my business anyways), I think they can be a useful tool to assist people in the journey, and just because you start using them does not mean you have to use them forever.
I also tried several different therapists/counselors, all of which did not really help at the time. I will never forget the one gentleman who gave me the advice to “go outside and walk around, take in the sights and architecture”; man how I wanted to punch him in the face! Haha. I thought that was such a silly recommendation, but looking back and knowing what I do now about how everything works together in terms of healing, there is definitely a lot of evidence to support nature, fresh air, etc. can certainly help... just probably not on it’s own!
Anyway, about 5 years ago after a bad break up, a sh*tty living situation, combined with my ever spiraling depression and anxiety I admitted myself as an in-patient in the hospital. I was at my wits end, I didn’t know what the f**k else to do. This was a really tough decision to make because I knew how tough it would be on my mom as she worked at the hospital and she would have to see me most days in a very difficult place and this also signified that this issue was very real and it was not getting better.
Funny enough I had a pretty good experience in there, I met a lot of cool people, some of whom I still keep in contact with today. I also learned a few skills that I continue to use today when I can feel my anxiety creeping back in (which thankfully is rare). I came out of there with a strong determination to get myself better, because I knew that no one else was going to do the work.
I tried counselling again, and thankfully this time I found a really cool counselor who I felt understood me. I did about 7-10 sessions if I recall correctly, mostly centered around CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). At first I thought CBT was BS, I’m a total skeptic when it comes to a lot of things, but after I few sessions I noticed that the way I was thinking began to change. Considering what I know now about neuroplasticity and the generation of new neurons I can totally understand why it worked. I have an audio recording of my last session that I plan to upload at some point because I think it could be really beneficial for people to hear, and it’s nice to compare where I was then to where I am now.
That was a long winded way of getting to my next point which is I started exercising, eating better and taking a few supplements; these are the things that in concert with the CBT really made an impact on my improved mental health and continue to do so. In the 5 years previous to starting this, my moods would go up and down and sometimes my anxiety would be pretty much gone for months at a time, but it would always came back. I can now proudly say that I have not experienced such extreme anxiety or depression in over 5 years and I believe I have my lifestyle changes to thank for that. I will go into more depth in upcoming posts about the specific things I added to my supplement regimen, the foods I recommend eating, and what I believe to be an easy approach to exercise and being active without going too overboard.
When I was in the deepest and darkest places I could never imagine having a thought like this but the truth is I am honestly grateful for having dealt with all the hardships regarding mental health. Because of this I am able to better understand what people are going through, empathize with them and use my experiences to help other people deal with their struggles. Also without having dealt with this I would have never found my passion which is health and nutrition.
Thanks for reading!
Tyler
