Rod Chant Counselling

07/28/2025

Narcissism! Narcissism! Narcissism!

He's a Narcissist, she's a Narcissist, my Father is a Narcissist, my Mother-in-law is a Narcissist, and so on. The word is the new "IT" label. It makes it so easy to throw the word around. It makes it easy to dismiss a bad relationship experience. In the past, Ex's used to be deemed selfish, or self centered, or cold hearted, and mean spirited. Here's the thing, if we easily dismiss a person, an experience, or bad relationship, we potentially miss an opportunity to grow. What may be missing is the opportunity to self reflect. In terms of intimate relationships there are questions to be asked. Why was I drawn to this person? What "red flags" that others warned me about, did I miss or choose to overlook? What are my personal rights and boundaries that got trampled on? Maybe/probably it happened subtly at first but with time I gave away more and more of myself to placate them, and accept their very self focused expectations. "If you really love me, you'll give up your friends for me (because they see me for who I am)", you'll give up your outside activities and hobbies ("how selfish of you"). Eventually you LOSE YOUR SENSE OF SELF. You become an emotional hostage to this person. Individual counselling gives you the opportunity to find yourself again. The right questions are asked to lead you to the right answers for you. The term "walking on eggshells" come to mind. Pay attention! Are you "walking on eggshells"? Rod Chant has 25 years experience in the field of relationship counselling. Don't lose yourself in an unhealthy relationship, and don't miss an opportunity to gain a learning experience. Call Rod Chant Counselling at 250-202-0891.

07/28/2025

https://www.rodchantcounselling.com/post/narcissism-narcissism-narcissism

06/23/2025

Our memories can hold both joy and pain. Discover how triggers from past trauma shape our present lives. Understand your brain’s unique storage system and start your healing journey. Read more: https://wix.to/rX1K3JX

Our Brain has a great memory storage system. The "storage system" is basically a collection of information drawn from experiences to inform us when encountering new situations. Don't touch the hot stove, don't hit the big kid and don't play in traffic. Based on experience, when we see the big kid wh...

04/01/2024

Check out my blog post https://wix.to/H874P0Z

When we hear the word Intimacy we more often than not think of physical and sexual intimacy. If we think in terms of true "heart felt " connection it can mean so much more. Healthy and strong relations can be better thought of in terms of emotional, social, recreational, intellectual, and often spir...

11/08/2023

Depression- "Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again"
More people are finding counselling helps to push through the "Rainy Day Blues"

It starts with a website. Build on a platform that gives you the freedom to create, design, and grow online exactly the way you want.

09/12/2023

Check out my blog post

More often than not when couples come to see me they cite the need for better communication. I describe the experience in terms of each of them "missing" each other. Somehow there's a disconnect whereby the needs of the communicator aren't being perceived by the listener. This then leads to frustrat...

05/06/2021

Social Isolation
The present days confirm to me the need to again become communities, to know our neighbours, support those in need, take compassionate action. I see so many struggling because they live alone and have no one; they are a young family new to the community; they are elderly and are less able but with needs that can easily be addressed. Know that we are interconnected and by taking care of others, we ultimately take care of ourselves. These are tough times but there are potentially some good lessons to learn. Who is YOUR neighbour?

06/23/2020

Guilt verses Sadness
When you've been taught from an early age that you are somehow responsible for the emotional wellness of other's, you are put in a no win situation. You ultimately can not make someone sad, or happy or angry. At best you can be an emotional support. When you make a positive choice for yourself, such as saying "no" and the response from another is anger or disappointed, you will feel guilt for emotionally "hurting" another, when assuming that responsibility. Let go of guilt. Guilt is about an action that has an INTENT to hurt. If you are simply making a personal decision/choice and with no ill intent, the decision and ensuing action is, in fact, a personal right. If it upsets another, then turn guilt into sadness.

05/14/2016

Chronic health conditions and the healing power of “Sweet Surrender”
Four years ago I experienced a rare form of Stroke that ended a very significant part of my outer life, that being physical activity, as in running, biking, playing soccer. I was very fortunate, during my time in rehabilitation institution, to find myself surrounded by “heros’. What made them heros to me was despite obstacles and limitations much more significant than my own, they weren’t just coping with their situation, they actually seemed to be thriving while others with lesser (lesser to me anyway) complaints seemed stuck or angry and miserable. Given my background as a clinical social worker I couldn’t help but wonder what was the difference between those who seemed to thrive verses those who seemed to be stuck in their circumstances and what actually is the true meaning of healing? I now understand came that it’s less about mending bones and strengthening muscles, but rather it’s more about acceptance and a term I’ve come to know called “sweet surrender”.
A recent article in Psychology Today (April 2016 Toni Bernhard) describes it nicely; here are a few excerpts:
There’s no reason to jump to the conclusion that chronic illness (which includes chronic pain) has ruined your life. A good life can take many forms. Try giving in—gently and with kindness—to what you cannot control. A dose of self-compassion can change your perspective in an instant...Giving up drains your energy. It can also exacerbate symptoms because there’s an element of anger in it, and anger can lead to painful tightening of muscles, digestive disturbances, and sleep disruption.
By contrast, giving in brings relief from the exhausting (and ultimately losing) battle against the turn your life has taken. It makes you feel better, both mentally and physically, to never side against yourself. You could turn that into a vow: “I will never side against myself.”
On TODAY SHOW (May 11, 2016) Health and Wellness segment, Meredith Vierna revisited Charla Nash. Charla lost her nose, eyes, lips and eye sight as the result of an attack by a Chimpanzee. More recently, following facial transplants, her body is beginning to reject the transplants. When asked how she was doing she responded by saying “I wish i had more Gas, more showers, more care but you know we can’t have everything. But I’m thankful for what I do have...I hear the birds singing...I can feel the Sun. And it’s like another good day. Let’s get started.”
Who can deny it? Despite her limitations Charla Nash is healed...inside. She has learned to accept her condition and more forward in her life and find new ways to “thrive”.

04/23/2016

With the experiencing of a Stroke, I'm finding that a chronic health condition is only a breakdown in the physical sense; However if accepting of life circumstances, it can also be the opening of a door to new possibilities. I feel fortunate I am a clinical counsellor. My work continues.