Seven Mile Ranch

01/01/2026

Here’s to another year. Another year of asking “what do you do when pain shows up?” Another year of noticing how fighting, flighting, distracting, medicating, rationalizing, dismissing, and avoiding pain may work in the short term, but there’s rarely much benefit in the longterm.

Another year of walking with you, with arms wide open, toward the depths in the arena of psychological pain.

And in the arena, I want nothing more than to find that healing or that balance or that forgiveness; to help you find the freedom you need to start to move towards what matters.

That’s what I did in 2025 and that’s what I intend to do in 2026.

I want nothing more than to be in the arena with you, because the only thing that I know for sure is that “love isn’t everything, it’s the only thing”.

12/24/2025

🎄 Merry Christmas from Seven Mile Ranch 🎄

May you let go of ideas of “right” and “wrong” ways to participate in the season

May you let go of a role that you feel you “need” to play for others at the expense of your experience

May you give yourself the gift of openness to all the light and dark, the good and the bad, that comes with not only the season, but everyday human existence

May you not succumb to depletion without meaning

May you be present for every moment of joy and wonder that comes and goes like clouds in the sky ♥️

12/17/2025

The struggle with panic is often worse than the panic itself. Fighting the waves makes them higher. Try letting them rise and fall while you anchor in the present — notice your breath, the feel of your feet, the sights and sounds around you. The storm will pass. You don’t need to make it go away to keep moving toward what you care about.
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Do you have a question for me? Write it in the comments and I might answer it next.

12/15/2025

This is both brutal and beautiful.

It’s the Christmas season, and everywhere I turn, we’re hurting each other more than ever. People I never thought of as dismissive are hiding in their own comfort.

Maybe the pain we see is the equivalent of a neglected dog witnessed by a young boy. Maybe it’s just too much.

But when you can, and even when it’s hard, choose connection over silence, not just for those who need you, but for you too. ♥️

New blog article is live: "Lassie, June Lockhart, and a Lesson I Learned Too Late."

You can read the full article here: https://stevenchayes.com/lassie-june-lockhart-and-a-lesson-i-learned-too-late/

12/06/2025

11/28/2025

The core principle underlying over a thousand studies that are forever changing how we approach psychological pain.

You don’t grieve unless you’ve loved. You don’t feel fear unless you’ve hoped. The deeper the meaning, the more it opens you to hurt. Pain is proof that something in your life really matters.