11/28/2025
This is something I’m actively working on (but don’t always actively execute 😅🫣…working on it!)
We (“I” 😉) often rush to advise because sitting with someone’s discomfort makes us uncomfortable. It triggers our own stories of helplessness, fear, or guilt. So we unintentionally make it about our relief, not their support.
Advice isn’t bad, but when it replaces presence, empathy, and safety…it can feel invalidating (to say the least). Although I wouldn’t say it’s always our job to obsessively validate like our society thinks (but that’s a story for another time). Sometimes helping is not saying more — it’s feeling more. Holding space more. Grounding your presence. Maybe even not joining the spiral…Yenno?
When we can regulate ourselves enough to stay, witness, and simply hold space, we offer something advice never could:
Safety. Connection. Opportunity. 🌅
⁉️Anything you’d like to add? Anything you can relate to? What you like to receive? Tips/tricks?