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Counselling for All

We address Canada's critical need for accessible mental healthcare by offering affordable counselling to all individuals no matter their income level.

12/27/2025

Many of us were taught that slowing down means falling behind. Learning to rest without guilt is often about unlearning old beliefs about worth and safety.

12/26/2025

Approaching Grief during Christmas with Associate Therapist Dominic Willson

Transcript:
If you’re finding the lead-up to Christmas a little heavier this year, you’re not alone. The holidays have a way of highlighting who’s missing, not just who’s here.

Grief doesn’t break for the season. In fact, the pressure to feel festive can often make a loss feel heavier. Old traditions change, empty chairs feel bigger, and even small things like a song, a film, or a decoration can bring up waves of emotion you weren’t expecting.

One thing I try to keep in mind is that grief shows up because love did. So it is normal for Christmas to trigger that love and that longing. Instead of pushing those feelings away, sometimes the kindest thing you can do is make room for them.

I’ve seen people find comfort in creating small rituals during the holidays, lighting a candle for the person they miss, making their favourite dish, writing them a letter, or watching their favourite movie.

Small acts like this help the nervous system feel anchored, not overwhelmed.

So if this Christmas feels different, that’s okay. Let it be what it needs to be. You don’t have to be merry. You don’t have to match anyone else’s emotion. But maybe choose one supportive practice: set a boundary, take a break, or sit and talk with someone who understands. Grief doesn’t have to be carried alone over this season.

12/25/2025

Happy Holidays from all of us at Counselling for All 🎄

Whether today feels joyful, quiet, complicated, or tender, we want to remind you that there is no right way to move through the holidays. You are allowed to take up space exactly as you are.

May this season offer you moments of rest, self-kindness, and connection, both with others and with yourself.

12/24/2025

Associate Therapist Cassey van der Merwe on invisible holiday labour

Transcript:
There’s a kind of labor at Christmas that rarely gets named —
the invisible work of keeping everyone comfortable, organized, and emotionally steady.

For many women and overfunctioners, this isn’t just holiday tradition.

It’s a nervous-system pattern shaped by years of holding things together. It's a trauma response that looks a lot like “being the reliable one.

And because it’s familiar, it’s easy to slip into without noticing, but familiar doesn’t mean sustainable.

This year, consider a different approach:
Do 5% less.
Not everything — just one task, one expectation, one place where you usually override your own capacity.
Pause before you say yes and ask your body:
“Do I actually have room for this?”

Let your capacity, not pressure, guide your decisions. Even small shifts tell your nervous system:
You don’t have to hold it all. 🤍✨

12/23/2025

The holidays often bring an unspoken pressure to keep going. To be productive, efficient, and available. For many people, rest can feel uncomfortable or even undeserved.

In this article, Marlynn Wei, M.D., J.D. explores why rest so often comes with guilt, especially for high achievers who learned early on to tie their worth to output. She reminds us that rest is not a reward you earn after exhaustion. It is a necessary part of caring for your nervous system and rebuilding trust with your body. 🌿

This season, choosing rest can be an act of self-respect and self-love.
Read more here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/urban-survival/202503/how-to-rest-without-guilt

12/19/2025

Family gatherings can gently or abruptly remind us of who we were expected to be. Growth does not require cutting ties. It begins with staying connected to yourself.

12/18/2025

Associate Therapist Dominic Willson:

If you’ve been feeling a bit socially out of salts, you’re not alone. Our social skills are just that — skills. And when life gets busy or isolating, those skills weaken. As we head into the holiday season, this is the perfect time to gently warm them up again.

Social anxiety, loneliness, and low confidence all get worse when we avoid connection. And the winter months don’t help — less light, less energy, fewer chances to get out. So let’s make the connection simple, gentle, and doable.”
One of the easiest ways to rebuild social confidence is the micro conversation. At a café or shop, say one friendly sentence: ‘How’s your day going?’ Are you ready for christmas

A low-stakes, no commitment comment. Each connection helps build builds a neurological connection
Alternatively, try joining one low stakes event between now and Christmas, something under 90 minutes. A Christmas craft fair, or short community workshop. Short commitments build comfort without overwhelm, and they give you natural opportunities for connection.

If you’re feeling up to it, trying a shift volunteering this season can be incredibly grounding. Food and toy drives, community meals. Connection becomes easier when you have a shared purpose, and it’s one of the quickest ways to feel part of something again.”

You don’t need a full social calendar. Just a few small moments. Connection protects our mental health at every age, and you deserve to feel part of the world again, one moment at a time.

12/17/2025

Associate Therapist Cassey van der Merwe:

If the holidays make you feel like an older version of yourself — quieter, more reactive, more responsible — you’re not losing progress.
Your nervous system remembers.

Family systems carry relational memory, and being back in familiar roles can activate patterns that formed long ago.

This doesn’t mean those parts need to disappear.

It means they need support.
Before family time, try reminding yourself:
“I’m here as my adult self — and I can care for any younger parts that show up.”

You’re not going backward.
You’re learning how to stay present in places that once asked you to adapt. 🌿

12/16/2025

The holidays often bring family expectations to the surface. Many of us notice old roles returning, the urge to please, or the quiet pressure to live up to standards shaped long before we were aware of them.

In this article, Jessica Troilo, Ph.D. explores why we continue to seek our parents’ approval well into adulthood and how family dynamics shape our sense of worth, identity, and belonging. Through an intergenerational lens, she reminds us that awareness is the first step toward changing patterns that no longer serve us. 🌿

This season, understanding where these expectations come from can help us move through family gatherings with more clarity, compassion, and self-respect.
Read more here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/its-all-about-the-dads/202511/why-we-still-seek-our-parents-approval-even-at-christmas

12/12/2025

It is natural to want to keep everyone happy during the holidays. But emotional honesty is a form of self-love. When you honour your limits, you create space for more peaceful connection.

12/11/2025

こんにちは、バンクーバーで心理カウンセリングをさせていただいている靖子です。
今日は、ホリデーシーズンになると不安が高まりやすい理由についてお話しします。華やかな時期だからこそ、実はつらさを感じる方がとても多いんです。
ホリデーは、経済的プレッシャー、家族との関係、イベントの多さ、過去の記憶など、さまざまなストレス要因が重なります。刺激も予定も普段より多く、
「楽しまなきゃ」という期待がさらに負荷になります。
これは弱さではなく、心と身体が“負荷が大きい”と感じたときに起こる自然な反応なんです。対処症としては全部のイベントに行かなくても大丈夫という無理のない境界線を引く、深呼吸したり少し外に出て空気を吸ったり五感を使った調整をする、優先順位を決めて本当に大切なことだけに集中する、また私に今必要なサポートはないか聞いてみて下さい。
もしこの季節に不安を感じても、あなたはひとりではありません。どうか、自分に優しく過ごしてください。

Hi everyone, I’m Yasuko offering clinical counselling in Vancouver, and today I want to talk about why anxiety often increases during the holiday season. Even though this time of year is associated with joy, many people quietly struggle.

Holidays can trigger anxiety for many reasons—financial pressure, family expectations, social gatherings, or memories of past experiences. Our nervous system tends to react when there is too much stimulation, too many decisions, or pressure to “be happy.”
What you’re feeling isn’t a personal weakness—it’s a normal stress response. When demands increase, the body stays in a higher alert state, making small things feel overwhelming.

A few things help can be done
• Set realistic boundaries—you don’t have to attend every event.
• Practice micro-regulation—slow breathing, stepping outside for fresh air, or grounding with your senses.
• Simplify—choose what matters most instead of trying to meet every expectation.
• Check in with yourself—“What do I need right now to feel safe or supported?”

If you’re feeling anxious this season, you’re not alone. Be gentle with yourself, and give your nervous system space to settle.

12/10/2025

During the season of giving, it can feel especially hard to say no. Many of us grew up learning that keeping the peace matters more than caring for ourselves. But the holidays often bring old patterns to the surface, and your needs are just as important as anyone else’s.

In this article, Jen Lumanlan explains why setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable and why guilt often appears even when we are doing the right thing. Boundaries protect your capacity to show up as your real self and help you move through the season with more ease and compassion. 💙

If you are feeling stretched thin or longing for more rest, it is okay to choose what supports your wellbeing.
Read more here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/parenting-beyond-power/202512/setting-healthy-boundaries-with-family-this-holiday-season

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