09/25/2021
Choosing self awareness
Oh the stories in our heads and how they run our lives when we let them, but are they real and are they true? And what if, if I pay close attention, I realize most of them are from the past, are of the past, are of a repeating, repetitive pattern, and I don’t have to take them so seriously. What if that is the first step I can take towards understanding where my power lies. That I do have choice.
In fact if the attachment and identification with them makes me feel (insert unwanted emotion), or like (insert nasty word/phrase), then there’s that much more reason to become aware of its very nature. To examine it. To choose in the moment of experiencing, how I relate with it. And not to push it away, as that merely tends to create more resistance, in my experience. But to be with it without needing to follow it down the rabbit hole if I don’t want to. Or to do battle with it, and thereby generating a maelstrom of confusion and inner turmoil. But perhaps to gain understanding with it. Where does the story come from? Is it mine or is it someone else’s? Do I need to believe it? Do I need to just accept that it’s here, to feel what I’m feeling in my body, and allow it to just be until it passes.
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Am I willing to move from Past=Present to Present->Future. Am I willing to follow the ones who are courageous enough to choose to create a brighter world for all, even against seemingly overwhelming odds? The ones who choose blind faith towards optimism rather than the evidence of past failings and disappointments?
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For myself, one thing is very clear. I sure as heck enjoy my time much more with those that are choosing to flex their peaceful power muscles of surrendering into the goodness that is innate and expressing from what could be better for all. And the one I spend the most amount of time with is me, so I get to choose the quality of self companionship, who knew? Well, I didn't for a long time. But that’s me. We each get to choose and we’ll all have every moment for the rest of our lives to make the choice, if we choose to.