Windy Ridge Autism Supports

03/30/2026

We’re so proud to share that the paper “Growing-up autistic: Sharing autistic children’s experiences and insights”has now been published 🎉

This is such a special moment, not only for the results but also for what they stand for.

This paper was authored by an incredible team including Sinéad L Mullally, Alice E Wood, Cherice C Edwards, Sophie E Connolly, Hannah Constable, Stuart Watson, Jacqui Rodgers, Kieran Rose and Nic King, bringing together Newcastle University, The Autistic Advocate, and PANDAS Online / NeuroBears.

It centres the voices of 136 autistic children, asking directly about their experiences, their environments, and what growing up autistic actually feels like.

And the findings really matter.

The research found that many autistic children felt safest at home, with far fewer feeling it was okay to be autistic around teachers. It also showed how common masking is, how many children did not yet have the words to explain their autism, and how strongly context shapes safety, identity and self-understanding.

This is a huge achievement and such an important contribution to autistic child voice, autistic-led work, and the growing evidence behind NeuroBears.

A massive congratulations to everyone involved. This one really matters

03/28/2026

03/27/2026

I am still hearing from parents who tell me that when their child is unhappy at school or reluctant to go, the advice from professionals is to make home less pleasant. They’re told not to interact with them too much during school hours, to restrict their access to activities they enjoy. A book for professionals tells parents to create an atmosphere of ‘solitary confinement’ around their children if they don’t attend school. One parent I talked to was told to make their child put their uniform on every day and that they should sit in the front room alone with only their school books until it was 3.30 pm and the end of school.

I’m going to stick my neck out on this one. These suggestions are profoundly misguided and have the potential to do great harm. Yes I know they are in the books, I’ve read the books. I know people will claim they are ‘evidence based’ – I dispute the nature of the evidence. I know the logical reason why this is suggested. I just think they are wrong.

The reason I think they are wrong is that this all assumes that the child is choosing not to go to school because they prefer home. It essentially tries to manipulate the balance of the choice – make home less nice, and school will look better in contrast and they’ll go.

This strategy does not take the child or their distress seriously.

We have a child who isn’t happy at school, and the advice is to make them less happy at home, rather than to address the reasons why they aren’t happy at school. In mental health terms, this is a really damaging thing to do. It will increase that child’s distress. It will affect their relationships with their parents. It will increase that child’s likelihood of becoming depressed. This is never going to be a good way to help a child learn.

Not Fine at School and my other courses on school and education are half price this week.

See https://courses.naomifisher.co.uk/ for details.

Illustration by Eliza Fricker.

03/27/2026

Most of the goals I see written for emotional regulation are garbage.

They often invalidate the kid’s experiences, perspective, capacity, sensory needs, perceived safety, cognitive processing system, trauma, and access to skills.

They often focus on minimising the intensity and duration of the emotional response rather than addressing the actual causes of the emotional response.

To use an analogy- goals like these are focusing on redirecting and containing the smoke, rather than putting out the fire.

Like.
Why?

If we are seeing smoke all the time, would we not go searching for the fire? Would that not be a top priority? And the logical course of action?

If a kid is struggling with big emotional reactions ALL the time, we need to have a look at what their life is like. The big picture.

Do you think they’re ok? Are they thriving?
Or are they dealing with way too much for any kid to deal with?

It’s our job to put out the fire.
It’s not their job to burn quietly.

They don’t need more expectations, more pressure.

They need safety and room to breathe.

Interested to know your thoughts?

Em

03/26/2026

For many families, the hardest part of the school day isn’t the learning — it’s the goodbye.

This visual explains why goodbyes can feel so intense, especially when separation anxiety is present, and how a clear, predictable goodbye plan can help mornings feel safer for children and parents.

If drop-offs leave you feeling upset, guilty, or torn, please know this:
hard goodbyes are not a sign you’re doing something wrong — they’re a sign of strong attachment.

Save this, share it with someone who needs it, and go gently with yourselves this week.

03/26/2026

I'm a trauma therapist. I work with people who have experienced terrible things. Natural disasters, war, and awful things which other people have done to them.
My work is helping them to make sense of their experiences in a way which allows them to keep living and move on with their life. For it's not just what happens to us which matters, it's our perception of what happens to us. It's the way that we experience events, not just the events themselves.

This means that when I meet a person for the first time, I can't tell how their experiences will have affected them. I've met people who have full-blown post-traumatic stress disorder to a 'near miss' traffic incident where no one was hurt. And I've met people who have lived through events like a tsunami, and who have somehow managed to emerge with their sense of inner safety intact.

The way that we experience the world matters. The way that we make sense of our experiences matters. And that's something that many autistic children struggle with. They experience things in a different way - and they find it hard to make sense of what is happening.

Autistic children can be vulnerable to trauma. To them, the world often feels confusing and unpredictable. They find it harder to make sense of what is going on and they often experience things as too noisy, too much, too bright. Then there is how other people react to them – not only other children, but also adults meeting them with a lack of understanding.

Autistic adults tell me that they felt that they were wrong to feel the way that they did. ‘Everyone else is okay, why aren’t you?’ they are told. ‘Just stop making a fuss’.
All of those things can come together to mean that school can be a hard place for autistic children. But there are things that adults can do to help, and that’s what I talk about in my course, Helping your Autistic Child Move on from School Trauma.

This, and my other courses on school and education, are half price this week. See https://courses.naomifisher.co.uk/ for details.

03/26/2026

Your child is very much themselves. Doesn’t go along with the crowd, won’t fit the mould, sees through control and refuses to have any part of it. They are clear-sighted and honest and on their own developmental pathway. They respond badly to attempts to control their behaviour. Just bringing out a sticker chart is enough to ensure that they’ll never do that thing again.

Then along comes school. So many expectations and instructions. Do this, do that – and if you’re not, why aren’t you? A time to do everything, but on the school’s schedule, not the child’s. It stretches out ahead of them for years with the end fading into the distant future. No one is able to understand why they aren’t just doing what they are told like everyone else. But they just can’t.

How can you be a low demand parent when your child is at school? What can you do to smooth their path? Eliza Fricker (Missing The Mark) and I tackle this issue head on in our webinar recording, Art of Low Demand Parenting webinar. Fully illustrated and packed with real life experience.

This, and my other courses on school and education are half price this week.

See link in bio.

03/26/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1EvyGUSdZy/?mibextid=wwXIfr

03/25/2026

03/25/2026

We talk a lot about friendships in NeuroBears, Unpacking Understanding and NeuroCubs; especially how they can look different when you’re neurodivergent.

Some people might have one close friend.
Some people have group chats, long-distance friends, or people they send cat memes to and that’s enough.

Some people have friends who know everything, and some have friends for different parts of life.

All of these are real friendships.
All of them count.
And they don’t have to follow school rules about “best friends” or looking the same as everyone else.