Simone Moniz

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10/07/2025

Self disclosure time! Putting this here as a nugget of wisdom MY THERAPIST passed onto me.

Early in building a therapeutic relationship with my clients, I highlight to my clients I’m a human before I’m a psychologist. Radical acceptance is something I model & co-regulate with my clients but I need to go to my therapist to ask for similar support.

I struggle with expectations, control and having acceptance for many things and some people in my life. Especially during difficult times or huge moments of change!! Sometimes I struggle to accept reality (data that has been offered to me over, over and over again) and what I hope things to be (here enters grief and loss, disappointment, resentment, frustration etc!)

So putting this here as a helpful reminder to me and to others. You aren’t alone with this type of suffering. Working with mindful acceptance and self-compassion are components that take us to transformative acceptance, and its journey!

🫶🏾

09/29/2025

Someone recently asked me what population I loved to work with…I said enthusiastically “Resentful _____” (I did say women, but I love working with parents, caregivers, teachers…generally anyone who is undervalued, overstretched and never encouraged to set boundaries, put themselves first, invest in themselves.)

Many of these people come to me and share their feelings around resentment and they seem sheepish or upset that this emotion is in their life.

But me? I simply get revved up and excited. Why? Resentment is such a fierce BFF warrior emotion; while other emotions are still your ride-and-die friends, but most of them show up softly. Resentment is that BFF that will show up for you and try to defend you, no matter what.

But we were never taught to listen and learn from resentment. We were taught to ignore it because if we feel it, only bad things will happen or it speaks negatively about me. Essentially, we are taught resentment, like all “negative” emotions, is noise we tune out.

In Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown explains that resentment falls more towards envy than anger. It comes from the inability to ask for what you need and acknowledge your own limits. It comes from lack of doing something that will get you want you want/need in life. It comes from a lack of boundaries of seeing someone doing something for themselves but that you aren’t willing to do/fight for yourself.

Essentially, resentment is sending signals of important data: where am I self-abandoning and what is one small thing that I can do for myself?

09/04/2025

Two things can be true.

An emotion that feels big is still valid AND a limit that needs to be followed.

When talking about emotion coaching & co-regulation, a huge part of that role is empathy and allowing them to “tell me more”. But when we empathize with people without setting a boundary/limit/expectation, we may set up a dynamic of enabling them away from their truest skilled capacity. We then may shift to an over/under-functioning dynamic.

When we do both empathy & boundary, our little (and big) people learn to feel safe in these heavier (and at times not societally accepted) emotions. When they feel safe with them due to feeling seen and not alone, they will be more likely to learn to self-regulate them (over lots of co-regulation practice!) versus avoid them or the situations that trigger them.

And little people are inherent problem solvers and sometimes want to push limits, especially with the presence of dysregulated emotions. So when these feelings shows up, it’s okay to say I see your feelings that are guiding the choice/behaviour, but this is the expectation/limit.

It’s a certainly a balanced dance of empathy and boundaries. Sometimes we may spend more time on the empathy side of things, than on the boundary side of things. There is no perfect formula.

08/26/2025

NO!!! You don’t need to share details about the trauma or your past. Trust that your therapist knows how to guide a trauma-sensitive approach to your therapeutic experience.

But also clients feel alone in their story AND feel the need to share to feel less overwhelmed. Therefore, it may be healing to share your story:

💚 If it is done willingly, not out of cohersion (“I should tell my therapist everything!”) or its not done from a people-pleasing perspective (“My therapist must know all the details of my trauma…even if I dysregulate!”)

💚If Safety is established within the therapeutic relationship. Meeting a helper doesn’t mean they need to get your most vulnerable side of your suffering. Also important for the client to truly understand the POWER of consent and FREEDOM to say “I need to stop sharing now..”. Clients may feel the history taking is incomplete, but when a client feels empowered to stop, that is the value of therapy!!!

💚If there is skill development, whether that looks like clients are aware of emotions, sensations in their body and are naming it “I’m noticing [sensation, belief etc]; “Here are my tears and sadness, which show up when thinking about this” or using other grounding resources.

It is that last piece of skill development, clients will grow with a trauma-informed therapist. With tskills within a safe therapeutic relationship, a client can slowly titrate their story to help heal, to find peace and ground in acceptance.

Address

Edmonton, AB

Website

http://www.pinehealth.ca/

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