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12/11/2025

🙏

12/08/2025

Let’s normalize boundaries, not burnout.

12/05/2025

You don’t have to earn rest.
Your worth is not based on productivity👊

❤️

12/04/2025

•Who did I try to keep happy this week at my own expense?
•What did I fear would happen if I didn’t?
•What would a healthier version of that moment look like?

11/30/2025

When we grow up in a home where our parents made us feel responsible for their happiness by performing or taking care of them emotionally (i.e. listening to their problems or managing their moods) we learn to prioritize other’s needs over our own.

We learn to feel anxiety, guilt, and resentment when we want to be independent or not care-take.

You can heal by practicing small boundaries-saying no. Also by taking a breath and staying grounded when you feel the urge to rush in and fix someone else’s feelings (when we act impulsively in these moments, we lose the pause between what we feel and what we can change about our fixing behaviour) and also differentiate “that’s your feeling, it’s not mine and it’s not facts”.

Therapy can help you learn to let others take responsibility for their own feelings, walk on eggshells less and experience way less stress.

11/19/2025

When your partner is passive aggressive, and acts like you’re the one with the problem, getting dysregulated quickly is a thing😮

When we respond to unclear boundaries or unspoken expectations and it feels unsafe, it’s normal to feel emotional; ie fearful, anxious, etc.
The part that feels confusion is, these relationships start to feel normal. Why?
🤔 even if it’s stressful, your nervous system being activated can start to feel normal (hypervigilance, walking on eggshells).
🤔 when your partner occasionally communicates clearly or apologizes it reinforces hope that things are improving, and that keeps us invested
🤔 blaming ourselves, sneaks in “I have to be less naggy, bitchy, etc.
Over time we start to see the dysfunction as our own fault rather then theirs.

Remember, feeling normal doesn’t mean it’s healthy.

How do we take back our voice in a passive aggressive relationship?
👊 Name the behaviour-notice when they imply, hint or make a face. This will help you stop internalizing the blame
👊 Pause before reacting. Urgency to respond is the enemy, taking a deep breath is our friend.
👊 Use clear communication and set boundaries

11/16/2025

You deserve a partner who doesn’t edit the truth to keep the peace.

Sometimes people don’t lie because the truth is unsafe
they lie because conflict feels uncomfortable and they want to be seen in the best possible light.

This kind of “protective” lying often comes from:
• conflict avoidance
• fear of disappointing their partner
• wanting to maintain a positive image
• not knowing how to repair after tension

But when someone edits the truth to manage how they’re perceived, it creates:
• emotional distance
• confusion and mistrust
• anxiety and second-guessing
• resentment over time

In healthy relationships:

✅ Difficult conversations are a must
✅ Discomfort is tolerated
✅ Repair is possible
✅ Honesty is safer than smoothing things over

When a partner only shares a curated version of themselves, the relationship becomes built on performance — not intimacy.

Real connection requires:
🟣 accountability
🟣 honest communication
🟣 compassion for imperfection
🟣 the ability to navigate conflict together

Remember: peace created by avoiding truth isn’t peace — it’s fragility.

Healthy love can handle honesty, repair through conflict, and grow through transparency.

11/13/2025

If you’re feeling lost, out of touch with yourself and others, and in a fog for much of the time, therapy might help. If you often feel as if you’re doing nothing more than going through the motions, you may agonize over feeling insecure and adequate, unloveable and alone, and look for ways to ignore deny cover-up or numb the ache of feeling empty with alcohol, food, overworking, p**n, drugs, or a combination of the above,then it may be time to take a look.

Certainly, you are not alone with these kind of feelings most of a struggle with periodic reoccurring emotional pain for significant portions of our lives. This happens because we don’t know another better way or because we’re unwilling to try.

Unfortunately, the pain often has to become intolerable, or a crisis must force the issue before we take action on our own behalf.

In therapy we learn to value ourselves so that we become our own source of care and a source of love for others.

11/11/2025

Being with a partner who implies rather than says what they mean can be exhausting.😩

You’re left guessing, walking on eggshells and questioning yourself-instead of feeling safe and accepted.

Healthy connection is not about mind-reading or guessing games.

11/09/2025

Over time, when our partners drop little digs, smirks, comments, we start to shrink: editing our words, hiding parts of who we are, and walking on eggshells just to avoid criticism.

A judgemental partner can erode emotional safety and our relationship shifts from connection to self-protection.

Therapy can help you rebuild your voice and set boundaries. Remember, you deserve a relationship that sees you for who you are, not who you should be.

11/08/2025

When you give more than is asked for or explain more than is needed, or stay silent just to keep the peace, you’re not protecting your relationship; you’re protecting your fear of losing it.

A love built on overfunctioning is actually just survival.❤️‍🩹

Real love requires two people showing up not one person doing the work of both 🙏

11/06/2025

This is a powerful and deeply personal question that is right at the heart of healing work ❤️‍🩹

Attachment trauma happens whenever, early in life, the people who were supposed to make you feel safe, seen and loved were unreliable, emotionally unavailable or even rejecting. It may not be about overt abuse, it’s more about emotional inconsistency.

In order to survive childhood and tame your nervous system, you may have learned: perfectionism, earning love by being “good” or helpful.

You may also have learned that if you make a mistake you’ll be shamed, criticized or rejected.

Or additionally, if someone pulls away, I have to work at getting them back.

When attachment trauma is unhealed, we confuse familiar with normal or even good. That means we might be drawn to partners, bosses, friends who recreate similar emotional patterns to the past, even if the pattern is painful.

That might look like:
🔴tolerating a “walking on eggshells” feeling because it feels familiar.
🔴 becoming anxious when someone pulls away
🔴 feeling like you are doing something wrong or you’re at fault when there’s conflict, causing you to shut down
🔴mistaking jealous or insecure behaviour for love
🔴 fearing abandonment but struggle with closeness when someone is genuinely available

Therapy can help by:
🙏 learning to soothe your nervous system and be less hypervigilant in relationships that are safe and consistent.
🙏 understanding your reactions were protective and can be changed. Your responses are not flaws.
🙏rewrite your story. Love and being in relationships doesn’t mean you abandon yourself or live in constant anxiety or uncertainty.

Address

Fernie, BC

Telephone

+12504239672

Website

https://www.newspringcounsellingandwellness.ca/

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