11/14/2025
What is Disenfranchised Grief?
Disenfranchised grief is type of grief which involves a loss that is not deemed worthy of a grief response. It is one of the least talked about types of grief and is generally viewed by society as not deserving of any attention.
There are many examples of disenfranchised grief, all of which have an impact on the griever contrary to what onlookers think they know. These include: the death of an absent family member, the loss of a friend, the loss of an ex, the loss of a pet, the loss of a same-sex partner, a miscarriage or an abortion.
Those who experience these types of loss may have significant challenges as they navigate their grief journey, all the while, their family and friends fail to acknowledge or understand the emotions that are being felt. These responses dismiss the relationship and the person’s feelings of sadness and sorrow.
When Nancy first read of her ex-husband’s death in the newspaper, she was totally unprepared for the feelings of sadness, pain, confusion and loneliness that would plague her. Despite since being happily remarried for the last twenty-five years, she still found this news left her numb. Her friends and her logic told her these emotions were crazy and not rational, and she should just get over it. Nancy chose to do the same as what many experiencing unacknowledged grief do. She withdrew from conversations and decided not to share her true feelings. She wondered if people were right and pondered if her sadness was weird.
When disenfranchised grief is experienced it can result in behavioral changes for the griever, including withdrawal, change in eating habits, fatigue, irregular sleep patterns and self-medication. Buried emotions do not lead to better emotions.
It is important that as a society, we recognize when a family member or friend is experiencing grief, regardless of the circumstance. Grief is a response to a relationship that was shared and the amount of closeness, companionship and joy that was part of that relationship. The validity of this relationship should never be undervalued. By doing so, a disservice is being done by the griever.
Bertha Brannen
Bereavement Group Leader
© Bishop's Funeral Home/CFHC Online